– My non-negotiables wereyou have to be at church and you have to know Jesus, you have to be able to love dogs as well.
– There were things that Ididn't care as much about, because, hey, he's cute.
(upbeat music) – So they have to like want a family or at least want one or two kids.
– Honestly, if they'rea Dallas Cowboys fan, it's just not gonna work.
No, in all reality, the good question just in looking at thislist is, am I this? Do I have good community? Am I invested in a local church? Am I making financial wise decisions? Am I rooted in Christ? (upbeat music) – Good morning Sandals Church.
(congregation clapping) Good morning.
Thank you to all those families who are helping grow Sandals Church.
Yeah, man, it's fun to, it'sfun to grow your family.
It's hard to raise a family, amen? Had to be really carefulwhat I was gonna say there.
(congregation laughing) Hey, we're in a seriescalled “Non-negotiables”, it's a series about love.
Look, if you're a young person, lemme ask you a question, do you have a list? Do you have a list ofwhat's non-negotiable? Have you ever sat down andsaid, “What am I willing “to accept when it comes to love? “What am I not willing to accept?” What is something that ifa guy says this, I go no, absolutely not? What if, guys, and know guys have a list, it's just, she's hot, that's it.
Then everything else isa big blur after that, you need to have a list.
Listen to me guys, the devil's beautiful, and you might marry her.
(congregation laughing) Same is true for you gals.
Look, if you're single, you haven't screwed upyet, you don't have to.
If you're divorced, youdon't have to do it again, you can learn, right? You can learn.
God has a list of non-negotiables, and in this series it's aboutfinding the love you need.
You know what most of our problems is? Is we're looking for the love we want.
And we're not lookingfor the love we need.
God knows what you wantand He knows what you need.
And He's gonna teach you tolook after a kind of love that you need, so that youcan have the life you want.
This is the firstnon-negotiable in this series.
I think every one's gonna blow your mind.
I'm guessing this isn't on anyone's list, but you're wrong, God's right, this is the most importantquality when it comes to love, and this needs to be on everybody's list.
Write it down, I needa love that can listen.
Married people, you ever felt unheard? You ever felt unheard? Come on, ladies, it can't justbe a guy given me an amen.
(congregation laughing) You ever felt unheard, ladies? You ever felt ignored? You ever felt missed? You know why that is? We don't teach our men to listen.
– [Congregant] Amen.
(congregation laughing) – Ladies, you're not muchbetter, but you are better.
We need a love that can listen.
Proverbs 31 is a chapter on love.
A lot of you women have beentold the Bible's written by men, it's all about men, it's trying to maintaina patriarchal society.
Listen, a lot of theBible is written by men.
This chapter is written bya woman, how do you know? She tells us.
Listen, my son, listen, son of my womb.
Contrary to current thinking, men don't have wombs.
(congregation laughing) Just women have wombs, justwomen give birth to kids.
Lemme tell you something, women have a deeper connection with their children, becausethey grow inside them and they are connected to them.
When my wife and I go on vacation, day three, she wants to talk to our kids.
Listen to me, day three, I forgot we have kids.
(congregation laughing) She says, “Do you wanna talk to your son?” I'm like, “No, that'swhy we're on vacation.
” (congregation laughing) She wants to check in, she loves them, she cares for them.
She says, “Listen my son, listen my son.
” Why does she say it twice? Is any woman in here raising a boy? They don't even hear thefirst time, amen moms? This is how it sounds in the Hebrew, (speaks in foreign language), and it's actually, “What, son, what?” Which means listen, before I make you listen.
Listen, my son, listen my son, son of my womb, listen my son.
Ah, this is so sweet, the answer to my prayers.
Isn't it amazing howmothers love their sons? I have to remind my wife, “Hey, I'm number one.
” They love their boys.
Don't spend your strength on women, why? Women understand women.
Listen to me, guys, yougotta listen to women, 'cause they can sniff outthe devil before you can.
They know, I don't like her.
You're like, “Why?” I just know.
(congregation laughing) Do not spend your strength on women, nor your vigor on thosewho, circle this word, ruin kings.
I don't care how talented you are, or how talented you think you are, or how much your mama loves you, your love life can screw up your life.
And it happens all over the world today.
People following theirhearts invite destruction.
I need a love that can listen.
We talked about last week, and if you missed last week, go back to it and I explain these Greek words more thoroughly, but the Greeks had four ideas for love.
Many languages and manycultures have different words for love.
In English, we got one word, I love you, I love pizza.
And sometimes you findout they love pizza more than they loved you.
But the Greeks had four words for love and the first word is eros.
Eros is a romantic sexual love, and here's the problem with eros, you need a love that can listen, eros doesn't listen to anyone.
It is blind, right? You ever heard that, love is blind? It's also deaf, it doesn't listen, it doesn't listen, it is so powerful, it is so strong, andmany people fall in love with a person they findout they don't like.
And you say stupid things, “We have so much in common.
” Like what? We like vacation.
We like walks on the beach.
We like sips of wine.
Who doesn't? So do serial killers.
Right? And we just say stupid things.
Love makes you blind when it's eros, it literally lowers your IQ, whatever it is, it drops.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– And you just like, “I love you.
” It doesn't listen, itdoesn't listen to friends, it doesn't listen to family.
It doesn't listen to God.
We're in love, we're gonna get married.
You don't even have a job.
We're gonna live on love.
(congregation laughing) Okay, that's gonna last eight minutes.
Then what are you gonna do? Listen, if you're a young person, you can learn nothing fromsomeone who's fallen in love, but you can learn a lot fromsomeone who's stayed in love.
You can learn nothing fromyour friends on Facebook, find an old couple in our church that can barely walk, butthey've been together, that's love, that's love.
You see, real love outlasts eros.
This week, or excuse me, last weekend was Valentine's weekend, my grandmother went andmet with my grandfather.
They don't live together anymore.
He doesn't know who she is, he doesn't know who I am, but she went to him on Valentine's Day and I have a pictureof them holding hands, and he's smiling.
They've been married 75 years, they know what love is.
Eros is long gone, butlove is still alive, love is still alive.
Listen to me, young people, that's what you want.
That's a love story.
Storge love, right? It's powerful, it's strong, it's what the mother has for her son.
Listen, my son, listen to my son.
Listen, son of my womb, son of my prayers, storge love listens to parents and family.
You gotta learn to listento your family members, you gotta learn to listen to your dad, you gotta learn to listen to your mom.
Listen to me, one of thereasons I am doing this series is 'cause I have two daughterswho are ready to date and get married.
And listen to me, guys, I'mconcerned, not about them.
(congregation laughing) I'm concerned about you guys.
And I told my daughters, you cannot date a guy unless he asks me.
You gotta see theseguys, (fearful moaning).
I'm like, “You're notasking me to marry you, “you're just asking to takemy daughter out on a date.
” They're terrified.
And I told my daughters, “If he can't face me, “he can't lead you.
” And listen to me, ladies, ifhe is not a husband category, why are you dating him, whyare you wasting your time? Some of you need to dump that chump, amen? (congregation laughing) I mean, not now in service.
(congregation laughing) There's Phileo love.
Phileo love is friendship, right? These are your friends.
If you start datingsomebody, and they tell you that you can't have any friends, that's a jealous love, that's a dangerous love.
Phileo love listens to friends.
Hey, man, I'm concerned.
Hey, man, I'm worried.
But agape love, agape love listens to God.
There's a higher love, there's a different love, it's stronger than eros, itlasts longer then storge, and it's deeper thanphileo, it listens to God.
Here's why listening is a non-negotiable, love must listen because love is learned.
You don't fall in love, you learn how to love.
This is why nobody stays in love.
This is why we're allfascinated with “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette”, which is the, just the worst idea ever.
When they fight about who'shere for the right reasons? I'm here for the right reasons.
I don't think she's here for the, I don't think anyone ishere for the right reasons.
(congregation laughing) Love must listen because love is learned.
Proverbs 26, many claims, underline that, many, many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? Why do we let Hollywoodtell us what love is? They're not good at it.
They're not good at it.
Tammy and I went to a movie this week, I told her, I said, “I'm fairlycertain Hollywood hates us.
” You notice how theytake a beautiful movie, it's wonderful, it couldhave an incredible ending and they want you to leave miserable.
What's wrong with them? Maybe they don't know about love.
The Book of Proverbs says many claim to have an unfailing love, oh, but a faithful person who can find? Do you know what that means? True love is faithful, true love lasts, true love goes to a nursing home when your husband doesn'teven know who you are.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– That's true love.
The Book of Proverbs has 31 chapters, 36 times it mentions love.
This is how the Book of Proverbs begins, it ended with a mother talking to her son, it begins in chapter onewith a father talking to his son.
It begins this way, “Oh, my son, listen to me, “listen to me, don't hate my correction.
“Don't forsake your mother's instruction.
” And it ends in Proverbs 31 with, “Oh, son, “son of my womb, son ofmy prayers, listen to me.
” You see, some of you are fooled and you think love is for the young only.
Listen to me, it's the old and experienced who know what love is, andthat's who you need to listen to.
Love must listen because love is learned.
And we're told, “Oh, you'll know when you know.
” “Oh, you'll just fall into love.
” No, you're gonna fall in a hole, that's what you're gonna fall in.
Love must listen because love is learned, write this down, love must be taught.
You gotta teach people howto love, you gotta show 'em.
You gotta instruct 'em.
That's why it's so important, we just did a family dedication, you need to bring your kids here so we can teach them how to love.
And they need to learnhow to love from God.
Because God is love, and the Bible says this is what love is, it's not that you loved, it's that God loved us andHe shared that with us.
Love must be taught.
Titus 2:4, these older women, and you can pray about itif this is you, ladies, I'm not gonna point it out, but I'm gonna say ifyou ask, “Is that me?” It probably is.
Like if you question it, it's you.
(congregation laughing) these older women musttrain the younger women, ooh, this is interesting, older women must train the younger women to love their husbands.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– And if you question that, ladies, it's because you're single.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– You will love the guyuntil you marry him.
And then you'll be like, “Things need to change.
” (congregation laughing) The older women musttrain the younger women to love their husbands, and their children, what? You know why? You don't have 'em.
There's a reason God makes children cute, so we don't kill them.
(congregation laughing) Tammy and I went out on a date, no kids, it's wonderful, it's wonderful, no kids.
And there's a couple, they met together and they got their kid andtheir child has just learned it has a voice.
All through dinner it'sdoing this, 'Ah, ah.
” And that's cute twice.
And then the third timeyou're like, “Slay the child.
” (congregation laughing) Their whole dinner, the kidis like a dolphin, screaming.
It's summoning whalesin the Pacific Ocean.
It's horrible, they can't even eat.
It's going to shatter glass.
Listen to me, if you havechildren under five, I love you, but you're on the threshold of hell.
(congregation laughing) Every single day is a battle.
If you're here at church, praise God, you survived.
It's true, isn't it, parents? Every single day you pleadwith your children not to try to die, that'stheir mission every day.
(congregation laughing) I must die today, father.
And parents have to commit together to try to prevent their death, and they're mad at you when you intervene.
Right, they try to puttheir finger in the socket, and you say, “No, ” and they're like, “Oh, you're a terrible parent.
” (congregation laughing) And there's part of youthat's like, “Well, try it.
” (congregation laughing) These older women musttrain the younger women to love their husbands.
You know what, love is hard.
Love is challenging.
I don't even like beingwith myself all day, much less another person.
You get married and you're like, “Wow, you're gonna be around.
” (congregation laughing) I mean, when you have siblings, sometimes you get your own rooms.
In marriage, that's not true.
Tammy and I share a room.
She has her closet, and we have mine.
(congregation laughing) I'm always having to make roomfor her stuff in my closet.
(congregation laughing) The builders should changeit, it's not his and hers, it's hers and theirs.
The older women musttrain the younger women to love their husbands and their children.
Some of you, you don't evenrealize why you go to church.
Some of you didn't evenwanna go to church today, but you're here.
Here's why you need to go to church, because you need to learn how to love.
And the world won't teach you, the world will not teach you, the world will teach youwhat you want to hear, they will not teach youwhat you need to hear.
Here's what Paul says to ayoung pastor named Timothy, he says, “The purpose of my instruction.
” This guy wrote half ofthe Christian Bible, he wrote half.
He's way smarter than you, he's probably thesmartest Christian, ever.
You say, “Why do youknow that, Pastor Matt?” Because God asked him towrite half the New Testament, and He didn't ask you.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– He says the purpose of my instruction, this is the guy who wrotehalf your Christian Bible, here's why he's writing, here'swhy he writes these letters, here's why he has theseteachings, these sayings, here's why he wants us to meet, to gather, to be in community group, to worship, here's the point, the purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled.
I want you to circle that word.
Do you know why you need to be filled? Because you're empty.
Every single week you run out of love.
Every single week you run out of love for people you swore youwould never not love, you run out of love.
You run out of love for your husband, your wife, your kids, your family, your friends.
Sometimes you run out of love for me, you're like, “Oh, just wrap it up.
” (congregation laughing) The purpose of my instructionis that all believers, that's you, would be filled with love.
Not love that comes from eros, not love that comes from storge, not love that comes from phileo, but agape love thatcomes from a pure heart.
God is the one person in the universe that never wants to use you, He wants to deliver you.
It comes from a pure heartwith a clear conscience.
You see, God's love doesn'tjust change your heart, it forgives your sins.
Some of you are so heavy, so broken, so overwhelmed with sin, and Jesus is begging youto let Him take that away.
But God only cleanses what we confess.
If you won't share it, Jesus won't heal it.
That all believers wouldbe filled with a love that comes from a pureheart, a clear conscience and a genuine faith.
Not everybody that claims tobe a Christian is a Christian.
Even people that areon christianmingle.
(congregation laughing) the Bible says love is patient, and love is kind.
That's the first sentence.
You know what the first sentence about God's love teaches me? I have a lot to learn.
I'm impatient every day.
I lose my mind on a regularbasis waiting for my wife.
She's always concerned I'm gonna be late.
It's like, “Come on, babe, let's go.
” Look at the next word, loveis patient and love is kind.
Anybody raising childrenthat were just born kind? My kids were born biters, does anybody have a biter? Tammy and I had to go to preschool, we were called into a meeting at preschool and here's what they said, “Ifyour child continues to bite, “we will not allow yourchild in preschool.
” My kids were biters.
One day after church Igot called into the back, into Children's Ministry, thisis we need to talk to you.
And I said, “What happened?” “Your son bit someone.
” Can you imagine you come to church for the first time andyou bring your child, and you dress them up, (congregation laughing) they're so cute and you put'em in Children's Ministry and they're attacked by a dinosaur? And then they ask you, “Oh, it must have been somebody “who came to church for the first time “and they hadn't raisedtheir child to be loving.
” No, no, it was the pastor's son.
(congregation laughing) He brutally attacked our child.
(congregation laughing) I never sat my kids down and said, “This is how you bite another child.
” (congregation laughing) You see, you don't teachchildren to be selfish, you don't teach children to be violent, you don't take your kidto the playground and say, “Now you run and shove that girl.
” They just do it.
You don't teach your daughters, “This is how you gossip “about another girl onInstagram so she cries “and never wants to go to school again.
” But they do it.
Love is patient, love itkind, love is not jealous.
Love is not boastful.
Some of you are already out.
Strike one, strike two, you're out.
It's not proud or rude.
Those are the things I'm good at.
It doesn't demand its own way.
When somebody says, “Ifyou love me, you would, ” we've left the realm of love.
It's not irritable.
It keeps no record of being wronged.
It doesn't rejoice about injustice.
It rejoices when the truth wins out.
It never gives up, it never loses faith, it's always hopeful, it enduresthrough every circumstance.
God says, “You have no idea what love is.
” Next, unloving behavior must be corrected.
Listen to me, parents, Iknow you love your kids, and so you excuse their behavior.
I want you to know that God loves you but He does not excuse your behavior.
Unloving behavior smut becorrected, Revelation 3:19, I correct and discipline every one I love.
You wanna know who said that? That's Jesus Christ.
You know, “That's not the Jesus I know.
” 'Cause you don't know Jesus.
Jesus Christ said, “I correct, “I discipline everyone I love.
” We live in a culture wherediscipline is not loving.
You know what's not loving? Not disciplining, it's not.
If you love someone, you haveto be willing to correct them, you have to be willing to discipline them.
Look, this week in smallgroup and our community group was one of the hardest groups we've had.
You say, “We're talking aboutlove, what could go wrong?” We were talking about love.
Love challenges, lovecorrects, love disciplines.
We had to throw downthe gauntlet this week in small group and say, “Look, man, some of you members “in the group need to do this now.
” And it was rough.
But that's what love does.
Colossians 3:19, husbands love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Listen to me, dads, ifyou don't want your kids to be disrespectful totheir mom, they why do you? Why do you? Never ever speakdisrespectfully to each other, remind yourselves.
Remind yourselves to howmuch you love each other.
Watch your tone, watch how you speak.
Proverbs 13:4, those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
Look, I'm not saying you gotta spank.
I'm not saying you gottahave a rod of justice in your house, that's not what I'm saying.
Every kid is different, every child is different, but lemme tell you something, parents, I know we have a problem in our church because I take your kids to camp.
(congregation laughing) And some of them, they don't believe the word no actually means anything.
Some of your kids hear noand they think it means go.
Every kid is different.
My oldest, all you hadto do was look at her.
Madison, (moaning), and she was repentant.
Broken down, “I'm sosorry, father, I sinned.
” My middle daughter, you couldlook at her all day long, you could yell at her, if you said stop, she would run.
Kid had a death wish.
I don't know what it was, you could talk to her until you were blue in the face.
(ranting) I just give up, come here.
Whack, right on the bottom.
It's like a reset button.
I don't know, it was like right here.
And she was like, “Yes, father, I do now understand.
” (congregation laughing) And I'm like, “Why, why, why do you have “to get the beating?” And she's like, “I don'tknow, I just need them.
” (congregation laughing) Then we had our son, right, boys are different.
You know what he did? He punched his mom.
Oh, I know.
(congregation laughing) I was like, (laughing), and I said, “Son, “you are not the son of my womb.
” (congregation laughing) I literally told him this, I said, “We're gonna make a memory.
” I know, and we did, it was good.
(congregation laughing) Now I don't wanna seeyou on CNN going to jail 'cause you beat your kids.
You're like, “Pastor MattBrown said that's the Lord.
” (congregation laughing) That's not what I'm saying, it's not what I'm saying.
But listen to me, you loveyour kids, the world won't.
You love your kids so you makeexcuses for their behavior, the world won't.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– And you need to help them understand that they need to behave in a loving way and love is patient, love iskind, love is not rude, mom.
It's not rude.
And you need to deal with that.
You need to deal with that.
I tell my kids all thetime, “Change your tone, “or I will help you.
” We gotta speak to each other in love, that's what the Bible says, “Speak truth to one another in love.
” Lastly, romantic love, romantic love must be directed.
You can't just follow your heart, you gotta give your heartto Jesus and follow His.
Romantic love must be directed.
We got a mom and a dad, and both of them areconcerned in their own way, so the mom says, “Oh son, son of my womb, “don't waste your life on women.
” The dad's like, “Bro, listen to me, son, ” right? 'Cause moms talk one way to kids, dads talk another way.
And you need both, you need both.
My son, pay attention to my wisdom.
Listen carefully to my wise counsel.
Why? For the lips of an immoralwoman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.
Here's what it means, parents, your little three year old, they're gonna listen to you to a point, and lemme just say, parents, raising children under five, you're in hell, but there'sthis beautiful thing, it's called six to 12, and it's wonderful, and it prepares you fornot-so-wonderful, it's called 13.
(congregation laughing) It's an unholy number.
(congregation laughing) But you gotta talk to yourkids while they still listen to you, because there's gonna be a point where they listen to erosand they tune you out.
My son, listen to me, payattention to my wisdom, listen carefully to my wise counsel, for the lips of an immoralwoman are sweet as honey and her mouth is smoother than oil.
And, oh by the way, so are guy's lips.
So are guy's lips.
But in the end, she is as bitter poison.
Just because you're thirsty, doesn't mean you should drink poison.
I know you want love, I know you do.
Let God teach you how todrink it, or you'll die.
In the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to what? Death.
Her steps lead straight to the grave, for she cares nothingabout the path to life.
We call Sandals the Sandals Church because following Jesus is a journey.
We follow His sandals, wefollow in His footsteps, we follow in His life.
We do not follow the life andin the footsteps of others.
You are either on the path of life, or you are on the path of death.
She staggers down a crookedtrail, underline this, and she does not realize it.
Not everybody that'sgoing to hell realizes they're on the road to hell.
Some people think theyare on the road to heaven.
Stay away from her, don't gonear the door of her house.
If you do, you will lose your honor, lose your merciless, youwill lose to merciless people all that you've achieved.
Love destroys families, love destroys careers, love destroys life, if you're not careful.
Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoythe fruit of your labor, and in the end, you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body.
3, 000 years ago whenthe world knew nothing of sexually transmitteddiseases, God did, God did.
And some of you don't know this, but AIDS still takes more lives in America each year than guns.
They just don't advertise it.
Do you understand that? In our state, sexuallytransmitted diseases are at an all-time high.
Do you know why? Morality is at an all-time low.
And people don't walkaround with a, you know, flashing light on their forehead, “I have a sexually transmitted disease.
” That would be nice.
In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body.
Listen to me, whetheryou're gay, straight, or bi, God has a plan for yourlife that is different than your desires.
And we live in a world that said, “God would never give you erotic feelings “that He did not want you to act on, ” that is because they'venever read the Bible.
Or they have never read it honestly.
We all have erotic desires, that if we act on them, that if we follow them, they will ruin our lives.
Following Jesus will never ruin your life.
It will save your soul andit will bless your life.
Some of you guys don't know this, but the man who is accreditedwith writing these words, his name is Solomon.
The Bible says he isthe wisest man on earth, and we know he was the stupidest man when it came to women.
You see, he had wisdom in some areas and he was ignorant and foolish in others.
It's why his wife, at the end, says, “Do not ruin your life “as some kings do.
” Because Solomon ruined his life because he followed the desires of eros, rather than the desires of God.
Here's what he says, here's a guy who's had thousands of women, thousands of sexual escapades, here's what he says to his son.
He says, “Drink water from your own well, “share your love only with your wife.
“Why spill the water of yoursprings into the streets, “having sex with just anyone? “You should reserve it for yourselves.
” He's talking about marriage.
“Never share it with a stranger.
“Let your wife be a fountainof blessing for you.
“Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
” As you age, you don't look the same.
That's true, it's why Godblesses us with poor eyesight.
(congregation laughing) You just remember.
(congregation laughing) He says, “Let your wife be afountain of blessing for you.
“Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
“She is a loving deer and a graceful doe.
“Let her breasts satisfy you always.
“May you always becaptivated by her love.
” Tammy and I were at a meeting last week and she was running themeeting and I was listening.
And there were just a couple of moments where I caught her outof the corner of my eye and I remembered when she caught my eye, almost 30 years ago.
Here's the truth about marriage, it's a lot of work, it'sa lot of challenges, and there's not alwaystime for eros and romance, but there are moments.
And I saw her and then I watched her and then I saw it again, and then I saw it again.
And after the meeting we drove home and I said, “Tonight, babe, while you were talking “and while you were running the meeting, “I was blown away athow beautiful you are.
” We've been married 24 years.
I watched her sink intoher chair and gush.
And she said, “You have no idea how much “that means to you, to me.
” She said, “I love hearing “that you still think I'm beautiful.
” And I said, “This isgonna be a good night.
” (congregation laughing) (congregation clapping) Right? The old buck is awakened.
(congregation laughing) Listen to me, this iswhat God wants for you, God wants you to be committed to someone who is committed to you.
No matter what, throughgood times and bad, for better or worse, until death do you part.
You see this ring that I wear? It's a commitment, notjust to her, but to God.
– [Congregant] Amen.
– And I plan on wearing thisuntil death takes me home or death takes her home, because that's what agape love demands.
It's what God has for you.
(congregation clapping) Amen? (congregation clapping) And I know some of youdon't believe it's possible and that's because you don't know God.
You don't know God, you have no idea what He has in store for you.
If you wanna experience this love, you have to make a commitment today to listen, to listen.
And Jesus was asked what's themost important commandment, some of you know it, does anybody know it? Say it out loud.
Love the Lord your Godwill all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
That's the Christian version.
In Hebrew it begins with a different word.
Listen, it's called the shama.
When Jesus is asked what's themost important commandment, He recites the shama.
And shama in Hebrew means listen, listen.
Hear, oh Israel, listen, oh Israel, the Lord your God is one, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, allyour soul and all your mind.
You see love begins with listening.
Heavenly Father, we thank You for today.
We thank You for the opportunity to listen to You.
We pray in the mighty name of Jesus, God, right now, that Youwould heal broken hearts that have been shatteredby love, broken by love, and betrayed by love.
And I pray, right now, theywould make a commitment to listen to Your love, to listen to Your commands and to learn from You.
And, Lord, for those who are single, I pray that they develop alist and it starts with this, they will not marry or date anyone who does not listen to You.
I pray this in Jesus name, amen.
Love you Sandals Church.
Hey, I'm Pastor Matt.
Super excited and thankfulthat you took time to watch any of the contenton sandalschurch.
I would love to invite you to be a part of just those who support theministry at Sandals Church.
Look, I realize many ofyou go to other churches and I'm not encouragingyou to take any money away from that, but any amountthat you could give to help us continue toprovide this content online for free, that's theheart of Sandals Church.
And some of you, man, you're not a Christian, but I you watch this, andyou're feeling led by God to give something, any amount helps.
It helps us continue toprovide this content online, and I just am so blessedthat you would just take time to pray about it.
And all gifts are welcome.
Thank you so much for helpingSandals Church teach people how to be real.
What is up? Chris Cage here, founder ofGreenbelly Meals.
I've been wearing minimalist sandals almost every day for over three years now.
I'm a big fan of these things.
Today I'm gonna talk aboutthe six brands that I've been wearing.
We've got Earth Runner, Xero Shoes, Bedrock Sandals, Luna Sandals, Unshoes and Shamma sandals.
Alright, hopefully myfeet are clean, toes a claim for you.
In no particular order starting off withEarth runners, the Alpha adventure model I love them.
Wore them for about six months.
My favorite thing about these is the canvas footbed.
Super super comfortable.
Minimalist straps make it easy to get in and out of.
Foot just nestles in there.
They do get a little oily from your feet but I noticed that they clean up prettyeasily after a walk on the beach.
now one thing that Earth Runner seems to reallypush is this concept of grounding See this copper plug right here? Supposedly it helps connect you more to the earth.
I don't know any of the science behindthat.
Just something to note One thing that did throw me off about thesesandals was this strap right here by the front toe this thread was a little toughwhen I first got it and left some red marks on my feet after a few days itbroke in fine so not a big deal if it fits and feels great now.
Next up Xero Shoes.
This is the Z-Trail model.
I really love this model.
The Z-Trail are the only shoes on this list with the horizontal non-thong strap.
I did have the Cloud from Xero Shoes which had a much thinner sole and a thong strap.
I really prefer these Much less flimsy My toes don't feel cramped at all uphere The footbed is very very comfortable I love the lip around thisedge right here It seems to help keep debris out more when I'm outside.
Overall, just great lightweight and comfortable sandals One tiny gripe is that thisstrap requires you to really slide your feet all the way up on the sandal beforebeing able to get it on.
Not a big deal.
Just takes an extra second to get that heel strap on.
Next up Bedrock Sandals This is the Cairn modelBedrock's flagship model.
Bedrock is doing something really interesting They're kind of the halfway point between a real thin minimalist sole sandal and a clunky Chaco style sandal.
They've got the thinner sole and zero drop like a minimalist sandal but are much more rugged than anything else on the list and make a really great hiking sandal I've seen a lot of through hikersrocking these guys Their lacing system is pretty unique as well as you can tell No complaints on these at all other than the fact that might be just a hair too heavy.
Again these are designed to be more rugged And that ruggedness comeswith an extra ounce or two Luna sandals.
I believe this is the winged Oso Flacomodel I might be pronouncing that wrong Luna was started by ultra runner barefoot Ted from the famous book Born to Run He really emulated that famous tire with lacing-style look These more than anyother sandal on the list are really designed for running People do someserious running in these things Very well designed manufacturing just feelsreally high-quality lacing is durable and smooth just great sandals Luna doesoffer a lot of other models and styles to look at mainly thinner or thickersoles depending on what you prefer different lacing really to help keepyour heel more secure for those runs Unshoes these are the Wokova model verystripped-down model affordable very nice sandals move well with your feet opennice lacing nice flexibility only little gripe is this inner sole area they'vegot these two laces on the outside and one on the inside and it feels just alittle unbalanced like my foots gonna slide out but not a big deal reallygreat sandals recommend them Shamma sandals last but definitely not leastare these Shamma sandals these are the mountain goatsI probably clocked more time and knees than any other pair on the list at leasta year lots of trails lots of everyday use you can see they're finally startingto split a bit they're light but not too light just a great balance very basicno-frills design which I like super comfortable and easy to take off and ononly din might be the tread the grooves are fairly shallow which in myopinion decreases the life of the sole you can see these are pretty slick nowbut again I've worn the heck out of them and then we have Chacos notminimalist sandals I'm not gonna dog on these I really just wanted to add thesein here so you can compare them to the others on the list these weigh about 36ounces the other models are around 12 ounces so these are literally threetimes the weight you can see how the heels are higher in the back then in thefront this is not zero drop with all of the other ones are which is just not mypersonal preference there you have it my thoughts on minimalist sandals let meknow if you have any questions peace.
(bright music) – Hey everybody, welcome to Sandals Church where we are all aboutthis vision of being real.
And if you wanna divedeeper into this vision or even what it looks like in your life or ask any questions.
Head on over to Debrief.
It's our podcast thatyou have to check out if you wanna learn moreabout what God is doing through Sandals Church.
But thanks so much for joining us today.
Enjoy the message.
(upbeat music) – Hello Sandals Church.
I also wanna welcome thoseof you who are joining us via Sandals Church TV.
And so it's good to behere with you today.
I don't know if youwere with us last week, but we've begun this new series called “The Cure For Loneliness.
” And Pastor Fredo kind of opened it up and presented the problem.
And that's this: That there is an epidemic of loneliness not only in our country, but across the globe.
We're seeing staggering statistics that reveal this problem ofisolation and loneliness.
In fact I was thinking about it this week.
Like when did I feel the loneliest that I've ever felt in my life? And I had been over the deepend for a couple of years in high school, partying quite a bit.
And I knew I needed to get away.
I needed to change my environment.
And so I went to college in Oklahoma and it was the first weekend of classes.
They had this special little event thing, The Last Day of Summer they called it.
And we went to this waterpark in Oklahoma City.
And before the park had opened there was this sort of side picnic area, some volleyball tables, volleyball tables, that was strange.
And we were playing thispickup game of volleyball.
And all of the sudden Istarted to get lightheaded.
Started to get dizzy.
And the world around me began to spin.
And the next thing I knew Iwoke up strapped to a stretcher getting put in an ambulance.
I had no clue what had happened.
I had to be told that just 10 minutes ago I had a grand maul seizure.
I'd never had a seizure before in my life.
As far as I knew I wasn't epileptic.
I got rushed to thehospital, ran a buncha tests and all of these kinds of things and I remember just sort ofbeing as alone as I'd ever been.
I was 1600 miles from my home, anyone or anything that I knew.
And I remember I finally criedout to God in my loneliness.
It had been awhile since I'dengaged the God that I knew.
And so I know that thatinternal experience of loneliness andisolation, even in a world where we might be around alotta people, is very common.
But it's something I wouldnever wish on my worst enemy.
And so what I love thoughis that Pastor Fredo didn't just leave us there.
He pointed us to the solution.
And that's this idea thatthe cure for loneliness is a table.
It's a table both in the literal sense that it's a space that wegather around, we share a meal, it's a space where we getto share about our days and what's going on in our lives, our frustrations, our joys.
But it's also sort of thismetaphor that we'll be using over the next several weeks that really is a metaphorfor the space within which the kind of community, the kind of humanflourishing in relationship that God wants for us, that's where this happens, at the table.
And so the idea for therest of the series though, is to actually unpack thosethings that get in the way of us getting to the table.
What are the things that keep us isolated? Relationally? Maybe you've been at the tablebut you've been displaced for one reason or another.
Maybe you've been dismissed, right? There's a circle of friends that you're just not welcome anymore.
Maybe you've dismissedyourself because you believe, man I don't know if beingat the table is worth it.
People at the table are crazy, right? And maybe you've justsorta, or you've been hurt and that's really sortof the topic for today.
Is maybe you've been wounded at the table.
And so maybe you didn't ask to be excused but you just sort of slid your chair back, hoping nobody notices andjust sort of walked away.
And so how do we get back to the table, especially when we'vebeen hurt at the table? And so before we jumpinto our message today, I'd just ask that you'dpray with us, pray with me that we would have God's help as we sort through his word together.
God we are so thankful that you have not left us to ourselves.
God that you have givenus your word as a guide and my prayer is that youwould give us ears to hear, and God that you would alsojust be with me as I deliver it, actually feeling a littlebit off physically, God, so sustain me, give mestrength and energy.
And God would we have earsto hear from your word and be changed by it today.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
So here's kind of the firstthing I wanna share with you.
God's original design, the plan for the table was actually this divine institution from the very beginning called the family.
That was the space that Godintended for us to be safe, to be known, to find intimaterelationship with one another.
But ever since the gardenof Eden, the family table, that space has been broken.
And so each and every one of us, even if you had a good familyenvironment growing up, maybe both of your parents were present in the way that they were supposed to be and you say yeah, actually mychildhood wasn't all that bad.
There's still some brokenness.
Every family's got it.
And so what happened along the way is that we got hurt, right? And so there's a reason thattherapists spend a lotta time just going back to childhood stuff.
And so the story thatwe're gonna be a part of and jump into today is actually the story of a broken family.
And it's a crazy story.
It takes up about thesecond half of Genesis.
And so before we jump into the passage I need to give a little bit of context.
There's this guy named Jacob.
He needs a wife so his familysends him to a different town to some relatives and hemeets this gal named Rachel.
And the scriptures say thatRachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face.
She was hot, right? She was fine, all right, okay? He was into her, okay? And so he approaches her dad, named Laban, this guy named Laban.
And he says “Man, I wantyour daughter, Rachel.
” And so he says, “That's fine”.
“You gotta work for me for seven years.
” And so if you're a romantic or you're into cheesy love stories like it's actually a very powerful story.
It says this, the Biblesays this about Jacob and his love for Rachel: After working for seven years, right? He loved her so much itseemed as if but a few days.
(congregation laughs) Right? And so he goes to marry her and Laban, this yahoo, he actually tricks, he dupes Jacob and onthe night of the wedding gives him actually hisolder daughter, named Leah.
Now here's what the Bible in one translation says about Leah: She didn't have asparkle in her eye, okay? Let me translate that for you.
This is the Bible's kindway of saying that Leah, she was U-G-L-Y.
U-G-L-Y, right? She had no alibi.
But he wasn't into her.
But he loved Rachel andso he ended up working a whole another seven years.
And if you thought your family was crazy, think of four moms.
Not just one pair of, one sister wives, right? But two pairs of sisters wives.
There was some maids involved too.
There were four moms thatended up having 12 sons.
In fact these were whatwe would then later know as the 12 tribes of Israel.
Because Jacob's namewas changed to Israel.
It was literally Jacob'ssons, the 12 tribes of Israel.
And so that's where we pick up our story.
And this story is one of the longestnarratives in the Bible.
It's actually from chapters 37-50.
It's a beautiful story, the story of Joseph.
And so that's where we pick up.
This is the account ofJacob and his family.
When Joseph was 17 years old, he often tended his father's flocks.
He worked for his half brothers, the sons of his father'swives Bilhah and Zilpah.
You gotta love the Biblical names, right? Bilhah and Zilpah.
But Joseph reported to his father some of the bad thingshis brothers were doing.
Most of you, if you knowthe story of Joseph, you'll know that most of it is about what his brothers do to him.
But I think we forget thatit actually starts with him.
He's a punk little brother, right? He begins with tattle taling, right? He's reporting to his father the bad things his brothers had done.
I've got four sons.
So I'm very familiar with brotherhood, and the many sorts offights and different things that go on amongst ourbrothers or our sons, the four brothers.
The third one, named Asher, coincidentally it's one ofthe 12 tribes of Israel, came into my room theother day and he's giddy.
Like he's like (laughing)like dancing like, you know just a weird kind of happy.
I'm like, what is going on with you? And he begins to share with me that he got this legendarycard in this game, like this digital game, Clash Royale, if you care.
And so he got this legendarycard and I'm just like man, your excitement level, it doesn't quite match.
Like I don't understandwhat's so big about this card.
And the truth actually came out.
It wasn't so much that he washappy that he got the card.
It was that his two older brothers didn't have that card yet.
Right? It's just kinda how brotherhood works.
A punk little brother Joseph is, right? And so Jacob loved Joseph, this is the dad now, not only does that hurt his brothers, I'm sure they're not fansof the tattle taling, but then you've got thisother layer from the dad.
Jacob loved Joseph more thanany of his other children because Joseph had beenborn to him in his old age.
So one day Jacob had aspecial gift made for Joseph, a beautiful robe.
The thespians in the room might know this as the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.
Got three theater fans in the room.
Probably wasn't technicolor.
It's a beautiful robe.
A gift from his dad to his favorite.
But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved himmore than the rest of them.
So we've got another layer of hurt for the other 11 brothers, right? A dad who clearly favors his son.
And we know not only thatit's that the sons that he had in his old age, but him andhis other brother, Benjamin, who he also favors, they were, those two, they were the sons of Rachel.
There's another layer there.
But this is what it developed into.
They couldn't say a kind word to him.
Like they were so offended that they couldn't say a kind word to him.
When Joseph's brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance.
As he approached, theymade plans to kill him.
That escalated kinda quickly, right? Made plans to kill himas they saw him coming.
The first point in your notes as we look at this story about this family that's displaced, this broken family table, hurt people hurt people.
Maybe you've heard that phrase before.
People who are wounded, who are hurt, it's kinda the notion of like, don't bite the hand that feeds you.
When you're wounded, when you'rehurt you tend to lash out.
In fact it's whatperpetuates the cycle of sin.
We are sinned against, we're offended, and then we sinfully respond to that.
And so goes the cycle.
You know my oldest son, he's a super sweet kid.
Well loved, we're reallyblessed to have him as a son.
And when he was a toddler he was so sweet that he went through this phase where if he bumped intosomething like the coffee table he would be like “Sorry.
” Aw, right? Yeah, crazy sweet boy.
Just loved everybody, super kind.
Until one day, as a three-year-old, he got a splinter in his hand.
And my son's not a wuss, but he gets a little dramatic with pain.
Like he just, you knowhe was freaking out.
And for whatever reason, whenever something crazyhappens at our house, when chaos is unleashed, I'm not there.
My beautiful wife gets to dealwith the crazy by herself.
We had a kitten go into seizures once.
Where was I? I was on the lake.
My kids are freaking out.
Their kitten, I know, that's kind of dark.
But there was a moment, I'm not kidding you, where a bat got into our house.
Circling our house.
And they're freaking out.
Where was I? Not there, you know? So my son gets this splinter and my wife calls me and I can't hear her because all I'm hearing is screaming, like bloody murder in thebackground, like (screams).
Like just a demon child, right? And I'm like what iswrong, like is Avery okay, is he dying, she's like”No, he has a splinter.
” It's like all right, I'm gonna come home, try and help you out.
So I get home and he's just not having it.
She hasn't even touched himwith tweezers yet or anything.
And so we're like buddy, we gotta get this out.
Da da da da.
I found out later, like wedidn't have to traumatize him in this way because it'll come out and make its way to the surface, but we were wanting toget the splinter out.
And so we're like startingto kinda restrain him or whatever and he is scream, he is like everythingthat he can muster up in his tiny little three year old body.
And then this sweet little boy, just spewed the most venomous curse that he could come up with.
He looked right into my soul.
He pointed at me, he said, “You are an ugly, ugly man.
” (congregation laughs) I was like, oh, I'm not evenyour dad anymore, right? You have to refer to me as some other man.
And I'm ugly, right, apparently Leah wasn't the only ugly one.
Like I'm like whoa okay.
We probably added insult to injury.
We laughed so hard.
We'll be paying for that therapyfor years to come I'm sure.
But the point is this, he was hurting.
Right? He was hurt.
And so he lashed out with hurt back at me, the one who was tryingto take care of him.
And so my question to you today, is have you dealt, weall have them by the way, have you dealt withthe hurts in your past? Have you dealt with yourown broken family system that displaced you from the table, the very space that wassupposed to teach you how to be in a real relationship, in true community.
Maybe you haven't yet done that because you don't know where to begin.
Maybe there's a lotthere for you to unpack.
And so maybe that'sbecause of this next point in your notes, is this, is resentment multiplies the hurt.
Resentment multiplies the hurt.
And when you hear the word resentment you can plug in a coupleof other synonyms there.
It compounds the original issue.
So as if the originaloffense wasn't enough, now this stuff starts to happen internally and it multiplies the hurt.
I was talking to my thirdson about the message and about this idea of pasthurts and how it isolates us.
And he's like, “Ohyeah, like Spider Gwen.
” Now if you're old likeme or you haven't seen “Into the Spiderverse” yetit's the story of this girl, she's sharing how her bestfriend, Peter Parker, got shot.
And she wasn't able to save him.
And so she says, “Now I end upspending the rest of my life, “now I'm just saving everyone else.
” But then she says thisone really telling line, and my son, my 11 year oldson, is sharing this story, he gets it.
She said “And now Idon't do friends anymore, “just to avoid the distractions.
” You see the resentment from the loss of herbest friend being shot had kept her from being in relationship.
It's this powerful pictureof somebody who's wounded and is actually trying todo what's right, right? She's trying to do the super hero thing.
But she's not about friends.
She's not about community.
So we pick up our story, but before we do that, there's a few chapters that have been skipped.
And so what ends up happening is the brothers havethis plan to kill Joseph.
They leave him in a pit.
And then they say, 'cause they were like ah Dad would be really ticked at us.
We don't want that blood on our hands.
And so they throw him in a pit.
So the wild animals'lleventually get to him.
But then they see some traders going by and they say well hey, let's profit on this deal.
They sell him to some traders.
He gets shipped to Egypt.
He's falsely accused andthen starts to rise to power because God's given him thisgift of interpreting dreams.
And the Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, needs some dreams interpreted.
But then there's a faminein the land of Israel.
Right? And his brothers, they are sent by Jacob, to go get food for the family.
And now, now's thattime to exact vengeance.
It's telling, the initialresponse is as we read it.
Since Joseph was governor of all Egypt and in charge of sellinggrain to all the people, it was to him that his brothers came.
When they arrived, they bowed before him withtheir faces to the ground.
Which by the way, is thefulfillment of a dream that he'd had years prior.
Joseph recognized his brothers instantly, but he pretended to be a strangerand spoke harshly to them.
“Where are you from?” he demanded.
“From the land of Canaan, ” they replied.
“We have come to buy food.
” So right, this is the firsttime he's seeing his brothers after they've left him for dead.
And I think often ourinitial response to something is the most telling one.
Clearly there's some resentmentstill there with Joseph.
And it's multiplying the hurt.
Now God begins to work on Joseph's heart after this point in the story and things begin to shift.
And we'll get there soon.
But I'm just reminded ofhow we can hold onto things.
My oldest son, that same sweet boy, again talking about this idea, preparing for this message.
And he said, talking about past hurts, he's like “Oh yeah, you mean that time “you forced me to go on Tower of Terror?” (congregation laughs) So if you're California Adventure, it used to be Tower ofTerror, now it's Guardian, it's one of these like dropsort of rides, you know.
And we were there and I'm like, he's probably eight years old at the time.
And I was like, yeah manyou gotta go on this.
And he's like nope.
Right, he's digging his heels in, he's like I'm “No, I'mnot doing it, too freaky, “too scared, no way.
” But I was like, no, no, no, internally, right? I'm like I know how this story line goes.
Like I pressure him and pressure him and then he goes on the ride and he loves it and hewants to do it again.
So that's what I'm gonna do.
Right? Come on bud.
Like it wasn't peer pressure, Dad pressure, whatever.
And finally he succombs, right? I mean he's like “Okay, I'll do it.
“I'll do it for you.
” Right? So he's retelling this story.
He's like “Yeah, Dad, that's the day “that my fear of heights began.
” (congregation laughs) Like, right? And he's actuallymentioned it a few times.
And I'm like wow, like you'restill bringing this up.
And he's kinda joking, maybenot joking a little bit too.
And so I'm starting to realize, man I need to have a conversation.
I need to figure this out.
I need to make some things right.
He's like “Oh yeah, and a few days later “we were playing catch andyou threw a tennis ball “and I didn't catch it andit hit me in the face.
” I was like oh my gosh.
It was a rough week for Avery.
And so like we ended uphaving this conversation about that.
But I could tell that there was still, even if it was low level andwe could laugh a little bit there was still something there.
There was still a littlebit of bitterness there that's this thing thatI did to my own son.
And so I wanna actually takea little bit of a left turn, it's gonna feel likethat, but stick with me.
Because I wanna shift tosomething a bit more serious.
I wanna talk about what we'vebeen experiencing as a nation.
Many of you know lastweekend there were two more mass shootings in our country.
Leaving 31 people dead.
And so with all of the onlineand digital and social media sort of venom that gets spewed.
You know you're scared almostto like what do you say? Right? The whole idea of thoughts and prayers, like that's been criticized.
We have to act but whatcan we possibly do, right? It's a huge problem.
It's indicative of acultural rift in our country, like what do we? Okay, if we're supposed to act, what could we possibly do? Right? I'm with Pastor Matt, theidea of sending thoughts is a little strange.
What about the prayers? And I had to, I came to a point this week where I was convicted of this.
I had to ask myself the samequestion that I would ask you, because I have this personalcommitment that as a pastor I'm not gonna say I'mpraying for you if I don't.
Like it's just, we say that a lot, we throw it out and I'm wondering, has that become cliche, isthat just something we say? Or church are we on our knees? Are we actually praying? And I confess, it was about Wednesday, several days afterwards, where I finally realized, man I haven't, I haven't prayed.
And so I did and I was reminded, like man where do you even begin.
I remember Romans 8 that says this: When we don't know how to pray, the spirit intercedes with us with groans that words can't express.
And so I do believe that the church is called by God to play aprophetic role in our culture.
And by prophetic I don'tmean telling the future.
I mean reading the signs of our times and delivering God'sword, God's truth to it.
And so the first thingI wanna say is this: Is you need to know thespirit of God is grieving.
And he's praying with groansthat words cannot express.
But I wanna offer one more thing.
And it's the next point in your notes.
It's the way forward, it'sthe way back to the table.
The way back to the tableis through forgiveness.
The way back to the tableis through forgiveness.
My guess is, it's like maybeyou're a little jarred, you're like what does forgiveness have to do with a mass shooting? Forgiveness, like isn'tthat a little weak? Like gimme something with alittle more teeth, Pastor.
It was enough, forgiveness was sufficient for a community inPennsylvania 13 years ago when a lone gunman walkedinto a one room school house in, of all places, an Amish community.
Like a people of peace.
He took 10 girls hostage, ages six to 13.
Shot 10 of, excuse me, shoteight of them and five died.
What we would find out later as the investigation went on was that this man had helddeep resentment against God because nine years prior he had lost his own infant daughter.
Talk about resentmentmultiplying the hurt.
But that's not the end of the story.
And what would ensue withinhours after that shooting blew the mind of our nation.
What ended up happening within hours is that several from the Amish community, some of the elders, went to the home of the now widowed gunman'swife to extend forgiveness.
To say look, we'regrieving, we're in shock, but I gotta imagine so are you and your three young children.
Right? And it doesn't even stop there.
Their forgiveness wasmore than just verbal.
They put their money where their mouth is.
They raised a fund forthe family of the gunman, the family of the gunman.
Right? Like what? Like who does that? And some of us are evenlike man, that feels wrong to move so quickly to forgiveness.
But here's what it did: it's a powerful force relationally.
It healed the community.
This week, my wife, Shanalea and I, we were watching a movie based on it and the production value's not great, the acting's not great, but about halfway through my wife is just like bawling.
You know even at several moments, like I'm tearing up.
At one point she slaps me.
She's like “Why did youmake me watch this?” Like she's just a wreck.
You know? Like you're gonna haveto forgive me for that.
That's violent, you know? But it was powerful, this story.
The way back to the tableis through forgiveness.
And so in Genesis 50 the brothers have beentaken care of by Joseph but finally their dad, Jacob, dies.
And they're probably thinking, like man, Joseph and his kindness and his taking care ofus, it was all for Dad.
But what ends up happening is Jacob dies.
But now that their father was dead, Joseph's brothers became fearful.
“Now Joseph will show his anger “and pay us back for allthe wrong we did to him.
” He will take vengeance.
The opposite of forgiveness, right? He's gonna stick it to 'em, they said.
But Joseph replied.
Listen to this perspective.
“Don't be afraid of me.
“Am I God, that I can punish you?” In other words he understandssomething very deep about forgiveness.
It's not that it just sort ofgoes away into the atmosphere.
It's actually transferringit to the ledger of God.
God will ultimately take an account.
In the Amish community, they said man, your husband is gonna standbefore a holy and just God, have mercy on his soul.
They knew that there's one seat, one who can occupy that seatof judgment who is righteous.
And we're gonna give ouroffenses, our wounds, our past hurts to him.
We're gonna allow him to deal with it.
Joseph knows whose place that is.
It says this then in the next verse.
This is one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible, I believe.
Especially when it comes to a picture of extending grace and forgiveness, and redemption thatcomes when that happens.
“You intended to harm me, butGod intended it all for good.
“He brought me to this position “so I could save the lives of many people.
“No, don't be afraid.
“I will continue to take careof you and your children.
” He too puts his money where his mouth is.
And then check out howit comes full circle.
I encourage you, go home and read this.
It's 14 chapters.
Comes full circle.
He says this: So he reassured them byspeaking kindly to them.
It was his brothers that couldn'tspeak a kind word to him.
And now because of this work that God does in Joseph's heart, this perspective that he's brought, allows him to forgive them and to speak kindly to them.
Ephesians 4 says this: Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.
Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.
It's a brief pictureof very concise picture of what it means to be at the table.
The kind of communitythat God is creating, that Jesus is inviting us to, is one that is tenderhearted, that is kind, that is ready to forgive.
But how? Or maybe the better question is why, like why forgive? Like what's the motivation here? It comes in that next clause.
Just as God throughChrist has forgiven you.
Remember what Pastor Fredo said last week, to be at the table is to know that you are a sinnerin need of repentance.
Your ability to forgive comes from a clear understanding that you yourself are asinner, capable of doing evil, a capacity to hurtsomeone, to offend someone, even if you don't mean it.
Perhaps you've understood that you've said or done something relationally that has caused somebody elseto take off from the table.
And so what do you do but toextend that same forgiveness that you've been shown? We only have a seat at the table because Jesus has first forgiven us.
And now we have no choice if we get that to do the same for others.
So I wanna talk, I just wanna unpack for ourlast few minutes together, a little bit about what forgiveness is, what it isn't, somepractical kinds of things to clarify from God's word howyou might go out from here.
Not just a hearer of theword, but a doer of it, to be people, a church, marked by forgiveness.
I wanna give you a quick definition first.
Most of the, a lot ofthe Biblical passages about forgiveness usethe metaphor of finances.
It's actually a notion of debt, of owing someone something.
In fact in one version, onetranslation of the Lord's Prayer it says forgive us our debtsas we too forgive our debtors.
So the quick definitionI would give you is, forgiveness is about declaring that though you have wrongedme, you don't owe me anything.
You don't owe me anything.
And so I'm releasing you from that debt.
It's a radically different system than the one in the Old Testament, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
You do something to meyou have to pay me back with an equal amount.
And forgiveness here is about saying you don't owe me anything.
The political party that you're mad at, they don't owe you anything.
The oppressive system, thoughit's oppressive and evil, it doesn't owe you anything.
You're releasing that, you'resaying that's on God's hands to deal with.
And so there's a few things.
Forgiveness does notmake what happened okay.
Forgiveness does notmake what happened okay.
So as we've had a lot ofopportunities with four boys to practice making anapology and things like that, we've taught them that whenthey say they're sorry, first of all they have to name the wrong I'm sorry for.
And the more specific themore effective the apology.
Right? Not just a general, like oh I'm sorry, like my Dad's making me do this.
Right? Sometimes I really get them andI make them hug for like 10, I literally count out 10 seconds.
And so it's actuallyamazing what happens by, like they're all like rigid and whatever, and I won't start counting until they're actuallyembracing each other.
And by about six, seven or eight, as I'm counting to 10they're like laughing.
It's pretty amazing.
But what's the most commonresponse to an apology if you think about it? Somebody comes to you andthey say, “Hey I'm sorry.
” Most of us say, it's okay.
That cheapens the forgiveness.
What happened isn't okay.
I didn't list all ofthe Bible verses there.
My hope is that you'd go homeand unpack some of those.
The one that you see underthis point is Isaiah 5:20.
It says woe and not like whoa, but like Biblical woe, likewoe, like bad things upon you.
Right? Who call something that's evil good.
But we're not asking of you, what God isn't saying is to forgive is to callsomething that was wrong, good or right or true.
And especially, there'sa spectrum of offenses.
There's sorta the petty every day stuff and I'll speak to those in just a minute.
But then on the other end of the spectrum there's some pretty deep level wounds that some of us are carrying, some hurts.
Those of us, for instance, who've been abused.
Emotionally, verbally, sexually, maybe all of the above.
And so what we're not saying is that what happened to you is okay.
Far from it.
So what if the other person though, doesn't acknowledge the wrong? You say you don't owe meanything, it's forgiveness.
But don't they at least owe me an apology? How many of us are stillwaiting on that apology? That's probably never gonna happen.
And so does forgivenessmake sense in that context? Where we don't even know if the person who wronged usknows that they wronged us.
Forgiveness can also be oneway, that's the next point.
Forgiveness can be one way.
Now when it's wise, or when it's safe, there's another layerthat the Bible speaks to called reconciliation.
It takes two to tango with that.
There has to reciprocity forrelationship to be restored.
Right? But with forgiveness it can be one way, because here's the deal.
As you've been hurt and you're trying to makeyour way back to the table, you may not be coming back to the table with the people who hurt you.
You're trying to get back to the table because you need community, it's how we're designed to live.
And so forgiveness can be one way.
I know that because themost profound picture of forgiveness we haveis Jesus on the cross.
And one of his last words is this: “Father, forgive them, theyknow not what they do.
” The people who were crucifying Jesus and theologically by the way, that's me and you and everyone else.
They didn't know what they were doing.
He didn't wait on an apology to ask his father in heaven to forgive.
Forgiveness can be one way.
Also forgiveness is costly when it's a death to self.
Like we have to choose to not hold onto what's rightfully ours, it costs us somethingto sort of absorb that or to release that.
But it's not optional Matthew 18 tells a story about this guy who owes an unpayable debt, like think millions andmillions of dollars.
And he's about to getin some serious trouble 'cause he can't pay.
I think he's about toget throw into prison.
And so he's begging formercy from this king, from this master, thislord who he owed money.
And finally the king has mercy on him, the one who's owed the money, and he says, yeah actually, I'm gonna just forgive this.
You don't owe me anything.
And he walks out and the sameguy who was just forgiven sees some other knucklehead on the street who owes him a fraction ofwhat he was just forgiven.
He's starting to like choke the fool out, trying to get his money back.
He just came from being forgiven, right? That's a picture of me and you.
We've been forgiven and so we don't, it's not optional as a Christian.
Should I forgive or not? It's just what we do.
And I know that that'sa hard word to receive.
But ultimately it frees you.
It heals you, it allows youto come back to the table where there are people who are safe, who maybe won't wound youas you've been wounded.
Finally I'm not naive.
I know that even though there's a moment where we choose by our will to forgive, and I wanna emphasize that really quickly, don't wait 'til you feel it.
I'm finally feeling like forgiving.
It probably isn't gonna happen.
Most things that God calls us to are acts of our will.
And we pray that the feelings follow.
Right? But it's a process.
One of Jesus's disciples says”How many times do I forgive?” And if you know this story, Jesus says, “70 times seven.
” Some of the mathematicians are like 490.
Some of you are like myhusband's long past 491.
I don't have to forgive any more.
It's not the point, right? The idea is just to be aChristian, to follow Jesus in this way is to forgive andto forgive and to forgive.
Indefinitely, as long as it takes.
The last point in your notes is this.
Forgiveness moves us fromvictimhood to victory.
From victimhood tovictory because some of us are real victims.
We've been hurt.
And yet the victory is when we can berestored to relationship, when we are able to dealwith that and heal from that in such a way that wecan be back at the table.
And I mean let's be honest for a moment.
Most of like the offenses in our lives, not to minimize the stuff onthis side of the spectrum, that's very serious and it'svery real, that's very deep.
But most of the offenses arelike the day to day stuff are really kinda petty, right? It's almost in our culture, like we're just waiting to be offended.
The other day, yesterday actually, I was in a parking lot, busy parking lot.
I was in a hurry.
And the rest of the world apparently didn't know I was in a hurry.
And this guy, there was an open spot and I'm like it's kindaclose to where I'm going.
And so he jumps in ahead of me.
And then if like thatwasn't enough, right? He added the insult to injury and decided he wanted todo like the back in thing, facing forward.
And then he didn't get his angle right, so it wasn't just like a three point turn but where it's like thisguy doesn't care about it.
And then I'm like ohthere's the guy behind him that's gonna take my other spot, right? And I'm all offended.
You know? I'm like oh my gosh, you know, just this morning I wentto go to the refrigerator, to grab my wife her Half &Half, her cream for her coffee.
And she thought I waslike getting in the way and it's like 6:30 a.
, right? And neither of us have got our coffee and we are not even lovingJesus at this point.
(congregation laughs) And she is like, I openthe refrigerator door and it like cuts her off and she's like, gives me kinda just this likestink eye look or whatever.
And I'm like I felt it, like I'm so offended.
I'm here to serve you, likeI'm getting your cream, girl.
(congregation laughs) Offended, right? What if what we brought to the table was an olive branch? The olive branch is asymbol, Biblical symbol for relational peace, for the extension ofgrace and forgiveness.
What if this was just in our back pocket? Right? And I'm in community group and I share something and it'svulnerable and I perceive, like you didn't handle my heartwell, it's just ready to go.
Because ultimately it's not about me, it's about the table.
It's about this space, it's about this community.
And so what I love is these elements for the next several weeksare gonna stay on the table.
I love that we started last week with the two glasses of wine and bread that's actually not wine, we're Baptists.
It's grape juice.
But it's the symbolic presence of Christ.
And it's the centerpiece.
It's that which allelse around it revolves.
It's what makes the table possible for us.
And so we've gotta get usedto bringing forgiveness, relational peace, we gotta make allowance for each others' faults.
I've already accountedfor it, you're good.
I forgive you.
I'm just quick to move there.
So that the table doesn't get disrupted.
Because here's the beautifulthing about the table.
Is that this is practice for a forever table of Jesus.
Do you know that the Biblespeaks of our future hope as a big party, as a banquet, as a feast.
There's a table and it's really big and here's why I know it'sreally big because in Matthew 8 it says that people fromall around the world, from the East and the West, people very different from me and you are gonna sit around this tableand share a meal together.
United by Christ.
Marked by forgiveness.
Would you pray with me? God I wanna pray a prayer that your son Jesus taught us to pray.
Forgive us God, of our sins.
As we forgive those whohave sinned against us.
God would we be a people united by Christ, invited and sitting at the table because we've been forgivenand therefore we're ready with the olive branch, we're ready to forgive.
It's our first move.
And so God we do pray thatwe would leave from here, not just having heard your word, but doing it as a church that people would look at Sandals Church and be like what grace, whatmercy, what forgiveness.
I wanna sit at that table.
And that we would invitethem to this understanding that they will one day, if they choose you, to sit at a table that will last forever with people from allnations, tribes, languages.
Enjoying the feast that is ours in Christ.
In Jesus' name we pray.
– Here at Sandals Churchwe really do believe that this vision of beingreal can change the world.
Because Sandals Church is a nonprofit that operates from donationsfrom people like you.
Because when you donate yourmoney goes to creating places for people to be real all over this world.
So man, I would love foryou to be a part of that and you can make a donation today by clicking the link on this video or going to donate.
So join us, and join what God is doing through this vision of being real and have a great day.
all right so we are gonna move on next to Oh the toe and loop stud detail slip-on wedge sandal we're gonna do the 10 e to right in this all right aren't even the mare not all right so this is fantastic and this is another walk on the wild side this is brand new so this is for all of you that think girls that can wear them look so darn cute in the what are they called but just a simple song right a simple thought yeah right I cannot wear a simple thong because I get blisters in between my toes because of the toe post because the toe like the little tiny toe thing but when you have a toe loop it completely changes the game right it gives you that same sexy sassy look but it completely covers and supports that toe so you don't get the alley alley alleys in between the toes which I love and again you do not have a very big distance between the heel and if you'll notice the front is actually lifted so you've stepped more than just that one inch in front this I would wear all day long so here's what we have we have available for you the we're calling this black snake but the black snake to me I would have probably called grey snake we only have 30 of these oh I got a hurry only 30 then we have the brown snake which would be my pick that the one yeah that's what Becky chose how expensive does that look really a four dozen of them and then last but not least the one that's done for you and more of that faux suede leopard this is brand-new and we only have a couple dozen of each we've got a hurry Wow I think they shot before and you know what you're seeing so much variety you're seeing the animal print in almost every silhouette we've shown you it's about picking your picking your favorite picking a slide on style like kandi said that has that toe post and also wraps around it is so elegant it looks to me like a hundreds if I mean it really truly looks like genuine exotic it's a little different heel height on this one – we've got about two and a half inches on one and a quarter inch platform but kandi mentioned it see that rocker technology as it moves forward as Shana kind of takes that step she can rock forward that's kind of helping her with her natural stride it gives her comfort in a really nice padded footbed and then again a whisper light quark outsole means that you've got something or midsole rather that again is whisper light on the foot so instead of doing heels that are clip-clopping heavy this is so light on the foot and so pretty on the foot I love this and I never wear thongs I've never found a thong I could wear I think you like this it was a full to wrap yeah which this is it gives you that full toe wrap oh man I'm having a tough time choosing but I think I think Becky is the winner winner chicken dinner I think it's about personality so I'm sure this is sort of I think most women can do this one if you I want a party with Shana though I love that I think she is fun and especially if you haven't done animal print yet you know you're not gonna do it head to toe a little simple slide on shoe with a basic black dress how easy is that I just have jeans on and a little tank top and then let that be your personality especially if you dress more classic you do like you know more of the more the solids let this be your little little attitude and if black is really your black rather than brown so for me 90% of time I wearing brown only in black or brown yeah 90% of time I'm a Brown 10% in black but if you're the opposite of that if black is your color then I would maybe go with this one which we are calling black snake but just know it's predominantly this beautiful gray yeah like a grey snake or white snake yeah so the leopard is definitely out keeps throwing me in my ear because he keeps calling it leo part and that's how many times you can say leo pard you know my ear do you know what half or I say it it happens though I always say it's called don't hit the pole you wonder why people on the highway HIPAA pole it's because of all the places you could have gone you said don't hit the pole and hit the pole this is what happens we had a girl who used to say orchard for orchid and I would giggle and giggle and giggle well guess what I got an orchid top and Hulu trotted right out and called it Orchard oh yeah yep oh you gotta be careful be careful just to know this all shoes are available on six easy monthly interest rate value payments and though this is a full hour dedicated to Corky's we have a lot more online at shop hq.
com so that is the brown snake the black snake the one that has the gray background only 20 pairs left and this is brand spanking new we mean talk about size I realized that I'm a half size so I go up so I'm a nine and a half I wear a 10 in quirk ease and it works beautifully again open toe open heel so if this were you know closed toe we might have to be more specific with sizing this is a slip on style so full sizes only and in Corky's I always book that half size nice so I'm an 8 and a half I go to the 9 perfect it's just the easiest way to do it other than that I would say true to size yeah I agree on this girl's everybody yeah that's true to size should we do our narrow wide test Shawna what's the what's the vote from the narrow community I think it looks good yeah this is nice yeah I'm sort of a medium Natalie what are you you're medium length medium width we don't have any wide widths here we have incident Natalie's hair yet not seen a mess here yet I think it's so jazzy and I don't want it to grow out which because we're focused on feet I know but she wouldn't have to go like go upside down it is a lotus flower maybe she can go into a yoga pose oh it should be a tree all right so these are selling out with fewer than a hundred pairs available brand spanking new first airing and they may go in.
– Welcome to Sandals Church.
My name is Melody Workman, and I'm so glad that you are joining us.
Thanks for inviting us into your home.
I wanna say Happy Mother's Day weekend to all of the mothers and grandmothers who are watching today.
Thank you for all that you do.
We celebrate who you are, and just what you mean toeach and every one of us.
And while I know some of youare celebrating this weekend, we also know that for some of you, this is a hard time because you have a deepdesire to become a mom and that just hasn't happened for you.
And at Sandals Church, our vision is all aboutbeing real with ourselves, God and others, and that means we celebrate with thosewho are celebrating and we grieve with those who are grieving.
We want you to know that God sees you and knows you and loves you.
And if you're joining us thisweekend for the first time, we would love to hear from you.
If you go to move.
Let us know who you are andwhere you're joining us from, we would love to connect with you.
In this unpredictable crazytime we're all living in, one of the things that I'mpersonally so grateful for is that every single weekendand throughout the week, Sandals Church has continued to be able to come into your homeand provide programming for all of your family.
And that is only madepossible by those of you who give to the missionthat God is put us on to reach the world with this message of hope and authenticity.
So if you give, let us say thank you.
We're so grateful for that.
And if you wanna join the movement, please go to give.
sc to be a part of what God is doing here.
In just a few moments, we're gonna hear from ourlead pastor Matt Brown and a special guest.
But before we do, we're gonnasing some songs together and worship God.
And while that may feelawkward in your living room, we wanna let you know thatworship isn't about where we are, it's about who God is.
And that as you're singing in your space, there are literally thousands of people singing along with you across the street, across the neighborhood, and even across the world.
So let's together, raise our voices and give God the worshipthat he's so worthy of.
We're so glad that you're with us.
– With so much isolation and separation, something that we can alldo together is to sing and to remind ourselves of the hope that we have in Jesus Christ alone.
So wherever we find ourselves, let's sing of who God has been so we can trust Him tobe that same big God to get us through the season to get us to the other side to be with us every single day.
Let's sing these words out to him.
♪ Come let us worship our King ♪ ♪ Come let us bow at His feet ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ See what our Savior has done ♪ ♪ See how His love overcomes ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ Sing about His faithfulness together.
♪ You've been faithfulthrough every storm ♪ ♪ You'll be faithful forevermore ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ We trust this to be true, I know.
♪ And I know You will do it again ♪ Yes, You will.
♪ For Your promise is yes and amen ♪ ♪ You will do great things ♪ ♪ God, You do great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, You have done great things ♪ So we sing our songs to Him, Him alone.
♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, You have done great things ♪ ♪ You've done great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ ♪ Oh God, You do great things ♪ You are strong and mighty God.
– Our God is faithful andHe is true to His promises.
And in response, we worshipHim and we glorify Him.
So I invite you to singthe song out with us and think of all that He'sdone and all that He will do.
Let's sing it together.
♪ I give You glory ♪ ♪ For all You've brought me through ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready ♪ ♪ For whatever You wanna do ♪ ♪ I'm moving forward ♪ ♪ To follow after You ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready ♪ ♪ For whatever You wanna do ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ In every season ♪ ♪ Your grace has been enough ♪ ♪ And I'm believing ♪ ♪ The best is yet to come ♪ ♪ The cross before me ♪ ♪ My hope on things above ♪ ♪ And in You, Jesus ♪ ♪ The best is yet to come ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ The bible says, “The Lordhimself goes before you “and will be with you; “he will never leave you nor forsake you.
“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
” Let us believe that truth and with confidencesing this out together.
♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ God we thank you for your presence, we worship You, we love You, amen.
– Hey Sandals Church, Happy Mother's Day, man.
We are so excited for you.
I know that Mother's Dayis gonna be very different than you want it to be.
But it can still beawesome if we let God into and so I'm so glad thatyou were here today.
I'm being joined by themother of my children, my wife, Tammy Brown, say hello.
– Hey, everybody.
– Super glad you guys are here.
A couple of years ago, Tammyand I, we made a friend.
Her name is Lisa Bevere andshe has so blessed our life and we asked Lisa tobless your life today.
And so you are in for a special treat.
You wanna just talk about how Lisa has just impacted you.
– I saw Lisa almost a decade ago now and she immediately spoke into my life, spoke to my heart as awoman, added value to me in a way that no one had up to that point.
She's someone that we both respect.
We've seen her publicly andexperienced her privately and she is the real deal.
As you know, we loveyou guys Sandals Church, and it's important to us the voice that we putin front of you guys.
So we're just so excited aboutthe message that she has.
It's Mother's Day weekend.
Lisa has been a spiritual mother to me and so we're honored that sheis gonna be with us today.
– And in the message shepromoted you to co-pastor.
So what I was thinking because Tammy didn't shy away at all from Lisa calling her co pastor.
And said, “Hey Tammy, you can have “the meeting with the governor this week.
” So, just enjoy it.
– Thank you, Lisa, but I will leave that to Matt.
– She's like, “But no thank you, “I don't wanna take the meeting either.
” Listen, we love you Sandals Church.
Here's what we're gonna do, we want you to listen to her.
She's gonna talk to you fromher kitchen from Colorado, and Tammy and I both alreadylistened to the message.
And what we wanna dois we wanna talk to you about what we got out of it.
So if you're a man, don't tune out.
If you're single, don't tune out.
If you're not a mom, don't tune out because there's some realamazing spiritual nuggets that we wanna bring out andtalk about with you at the end, because some of the things Lisasaid, just as always, right? Lisa just blows me away with what so easilycomes out of her mouth.
I'm like, “Oh, my gosh, where did you come that from? “Where did you get that from?” But it's literally shejust hears from God, and this is something we've never done, but you know what? We're living in times we'venever lived in before, and I was tired of listening to myself.
So I asked Lisa, I said, “Look, man, it's Mother's Day weekend, “we got a lot of moms who are struggling, “maintaining their sanity, “trying to figure out how to live.
” And I thought what a betteropportunity for our church to hear from our mom, somebody whose been aspiritual mom to Tammy and just a female voiceof wisdom in my life.
We love Lisa and she's blessed us and I know she's gonna bless you.
So give her the next 30 minutes and then Tammy and I are gonna come back and we're gonna talk about some things that maybe you missed but needed to hear.
(upbeat music) – Hey, Happy Mother's Day.
I cannot even tell you how excited I am to be spending my mother's day with my Sandals Church family.
Now I know a lot of you are saying, wait, we've never seen you before.
That would be all the men because I have had threetimes opportunities to gather with your women, fell in love with them.
I am all about cultivating kindness.
And I am so incredibly honoredthat pastor Matt and Tammy would ask me to bring amother day message to you.
Okay, so here's the exciting thing.
You are in my kitchen.
I know that some of youare watching me online, you're in sweatpants, you're totally relaxed, you're not in a building, but I'm going to pretend like you and I are sitting across thetable from one another.
And since I am meeting some ofyou for the very first time, I'm going to actually putup a picture of my family.
So in front of you, you're going to see that I have one son sitting with a dog.
That is my single son, his name is Alexander.
I would really love it if he could get marriedby the end of the year, because I have grandparent greed.
You're also going to seethat I have four grandkids.
I have imported a daughterin law from Texas, a daughter in law from Alabama, a daughter in law from Seattle, so the Washington State area.
I would love to import, we do not export, import another daughterin law from California.
So just be thinking aboutthat mama's out there.
Everything has changed.
We're in unprecedented times.
I'd love to help you.
I'd love to help you gofrom mother to grandmother.
But I wanna talk to youabout this incredible day that we set aside to honormothers, Mother's Day.
Now, it was just like, Oh mygosh, mothers you're amazing.
Well, now we know mothersare way more than amazing.
I hate when I hear mothersuse the disclaimer of, I'm just a stay at home mother.
Everybody's finding out now that a just stay at home mothermeans pretty much everything.
You are now educators, you are working from home, you have no buffer of school, you are doing things thatyou did not even know you could do six weeksago, seven weeks ago, and I wanna celebrate you.
I wanna also singleout the single mothers, you guys are heroes.
I have no idea how you aredoing everything that you do.
And then the women who are married to men who are deployed in themilitary, you also are my heroes.
And then some of you inaddition to being mothers and taking care of your own family, you're first responders, you are out on the front line and you are fighting this virus, and so I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being a mother, there has never been a more important time to celebrate mothers and remember the why behind being a mother.
And when I was looking atwhat I was gonna talk about, I want you to know, I havebeen married for 38 years.
That means I have made somany horrible mistakes.
I have done a lot ofthings right by accident and a lot of things wrong on purpose.
I don't know if I told youthis, but I'm not just a mother, I am a Sicilian mother, which is a little differentthan an Italian mother.
They were all feeders.
So that's why I lovehaving you in my kitchen.
But Sicilians, we have alittle bit more of a challenge than some Italians might have.
And so I brought a lot of intensity and a lot of really the wrong ideas about what it meant to be a mother and I made all of the mistakes for you.
So I am going to share with you what I wish I would have known back then.
And to that end, there is a photo that I'm going to share with you.
And in this photo, I am 34 years of age.
I am, you're gonna see, sitting next to my husband who looks really cute and handsome.
I look super stressed.
I'm barely smiling.
I have three little boys.
You know I have four in real life, was about ready to getpregnant with my fourth.
I had just survived anairplane ride from hell.
John had taken us all on amissions trip to Indonesia.
And for some reason on theleg from Guam to Hawaii, my son Austin, releasedthe air masks in the row.
And he was sitting behind me, I had just fallen asleep, it was a really long flight when the flight attendantshakes me and is like, “Are those your children behind you?” And I just wanted tolie, I wanted to say no, I don't know those children.
I have no idea whose children.
They're like, “he justreleased all those air masks.
” You know, the ones you'resupposed to put on first before you put it on somebody else.
And he said, “You know what, you're lucky, “because this is a full flightand we're closer to Hawaii.
“Because if we were closer to Guam, “it would be your faultthat we have to go back.
” So I didn't sleep at all.
I remember we had thislittle layover in Hawaii.
We were staying at a ghettohotel and we ran away and we're walking on the grounds of this magnificentHilton Hawaiian village and somebody offered to take a photo.
And I remember at the timethinking, I don't want a photo.
I look terrible, my bangs are going crazy.
I don't want a photo of myself.
But I'm so glad that theyactually took that photo, because I remember that moment and I wish I could takethat 34 year old Lisa aside, put my arm around her and saywe're gonna go for a walk.
First thing I would tell her is what I hope you're gonna hear.
I would have said, baby girl, you're doing a better jobthan you know you're doing.
You've got a list that every single night, you accumulate everythingyou think you've done wrong, everything you think youcould have done better.
And you hold yourself upevery single night hostage to the failures of your day.
I would say girl, youneed to tear up that list because you're nevergoing to do it perfectly.
Instead of having a listof what you did wrong, I would empower Lisa to havea list of what she did right.
You know, God is alwaysabout growth, not guilt.
Mamas, you need to tear up the list, you need to look at your day.
Maybe it's just, I took a shower.
Maybe it's just nobody bled today.
Maybe it's just, I didn't yell.
Maybe it just we laughedand enjoyed one another.
Which would bring me to the second thing I would say to Lisa.
I would say, “Lisa, you'reso busy surviving your days, “that you're not enjoying them.
” I was so busy tri-folding the underwear.
I was so busy taking a toothbrushto the grout to bleach it.
I was so busy that didn'thave time to enjoy my husband, or enjoy my children.
Hey, mamas, I give youfull permission to engage and to enjoy.
You do not have tosacrifice every single day the things that actually God created to have refreshing in your life.
And my boys don'tremember that I tri-folded their underwear.
They don't rememberhow clean the house was when they were young.
What they do remember is thetimes that I played with them, the times that I laugh with them, the times that I talk to them, the times I said, “okay, I'm just going to sit down, “and I'm just going tolet the other stuff go.
” So I'm gonna give youpermission to stop tri-folding the underwear, stop tryingto make everything perfect.
Enjoy your family, enjoy your family.
You know, somebody asked my third son, who was pictured in the striped overalls.
They said, “hey, how come allfour of you boys, love God, “love your parents and areserving in some capacity “in the ministry?” And he said, “Can I getback with you on that?” And he took some timeand he thought about it and he came back and he told him, “My parents played cards withus, and they spanked us.
” Now, I'm not saying youhave to spank your kids, but what he was saying was wedisciplined and we engaged, we ate dinner.
Everything happened atthe table in our house and when dinner was over, my boys cleaned the kitchen.
I didn't clean the kitchen.
I made the mess in thekitchen, I did all the cooking.
Your children areprobably way more capable of doing things around the house, than you know that theyare capable of doing.
So I'm gonna give youpermission to assign chores, I hope your kids aren't saying, “I don't like this woman, “I you need to turn her off right now.
” When the family does things together, then there's more time for fun together.
So you need to startletting yourself enjoy instead of being mad at your husband that he's playing with the kids while you're working in the kitchen.
You get everybody else back in the kitchen so you can join in on the fun.
Another thing I would say, you guys, I turn 60 next month, I'm turning 60.
I can't even believe that, that's just crazy to me.
But I would tell my 34 year old self, “girl, you to enjoy that body.
“That is the best body youare ever going to have, “you need to enjoy that body.
” Stop criticizing it.
Stop being hard on yourself.
If you want to be strong, be strong, but stop trying to be skinny.
Get strength, rather than befaint and weak and dieting.
Take care of yourself.
Neglecting yourself, that's not godly.
Neglecting yourself is notthe same as denying yourself, denying yourself is about when you say, God, you're enough I'm gonna follow you but neglecting yourself is when you don't take care ofsomething that He has given you.
Enjoy that body.
And you know if you ifyou wanna ask anybody if what I'm saying is true, you just call one of the older women and they will say, “Iwish I would have liked “my body better when I was younger.
” Because, hey, hitting 60, I feel like I've gotsome betrayal going on.
Next thing is, you needto enjoy your husband.
You need to enjoy your husband.
The Bible says the older women, that's me, are to teach and train the younger women, how to love their husbandsand train their children.
But our culture reallyactually tells you, no, no, no.
Train your husband, and love your children.
I'm gonna tell you, you don'twant to get that backwards.
It will not go well with you.
Train your children.
It's easy to love your kids, but you've gonna be trainedto love your husband.
And I'm not picking on themen, but it's just easier.
It's just easier to love cute little kids.
Now, I'm gonna tell you something else that I wish I would have known.
I actually learned this lesson before this particular picture.
And that was I am notresponsible for John? No, seriously, I know thatsounds like what are you saying? I don't know why.
But I didn't just feel like Iwas a mother to my children.
I felt like I was themother of my husband.
Now, that brought a wholelot more pressure on me than being the mother of my kids.
You know, when John andI were first married, we had our very first son Addison, and we were married for four years, I was working full timeas a television producer.
And John was working part time.
He was working part time at a ministry, I had all the benefits, I was making more money.
And I found myself sostressed out, so stressed out.
And so I remember trying to relax, relaxation was a crazy thing.
And so I would take baths at night and sometimes I would submerge myself where just my nose was above the water.
And John would come inand look at me and say, “What are you doing?” And I'd say, “I'm trying torelax, I'm trying to relax.
” And he'd say, “you knowwhat, you just need to break “and give these things to God.
” And I'd say, “you know what? “I don't wanna break and give them to God, “I wanna give them to you.
” And because you are notcarrying these things, I've gonna carry all ofthese things for you.
And then there was this moment.
I was in the shower one night, and we had bought a shower massage.
I'm trying to get my soldiers to go down.
I'm so stressed out.
I'm working full time.
I'm breastfeeding a child.
I'm making all the food organic.
John's working part time.
He's just kind of laying in the sun.
I'm like, I wanna hit him.
And I heard God say to me, you don't think John is a verygood head of the household, do you? I said, “I don't.
” He said, “You think you can do it better?” I said, “I know I can do it better.
” And then the Spirit of God said, “Lisa, John likes you doing everything.
” He said, “it's a yoke to you.
“But it's a mantle to John, throw it off your shoulders.
” I said, “God, this man can't even remember “to take out the garbage.
“Do you understand that ifI surrender all of this, “there is going to be diaperspiled up to the ceiling.
” And in that moment, God began to replay the way that I wasinteracting with my husband.
And he said, “Lisa, allthat John has ever known “is a mother and that is whyhe acts like a little boy.
” He said, “you are going to have to learn “how to stop being his motherand start being his wife.
” Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wisewoman builds her house.
” But I didn't know how to build.
And so I remember that was aturning point where I said, “Hey, maybe I'll just quit my job.
” I don't know what we need to do.
But you know what, John, I'm not gonna think I'm the source anymore, and I am not going tobe your mother anymore.
And I watched my husbandgo from a boy to a man when I stopped being his mother, and started to be his co labor.
Now, I hope you don't feellike I'm correcting you when I'm saying that becausemaybe some of you are like, that woman is crazy.
I would never try tobe my husband's mother.
But for the two people thatmight have felt that way, you might have some Italian in you and you approach the same way as me.
I just want you to know you don't have to mother your husband.
You can go from mother, backto lover, just enjoy him.
And you guys can have conversations about building insteadof speaking in situations where you feel like you have to constantly change one another.
So we are going to train ourchildren and love our husbands, because that is way more fun than having those things flipped around.
So now, let's talk abouthow amazing women are.
See, I believe that God created woman as the answer to the very first problem.
See, long before there wasa fall there was a problem.
You think wait, didn't all theproblems start with the fall? No, the Book of Genesis saysthat there was a problem and that problem was it isnot good for man to be alone.
Now, it didn't say that men aren't good, it said the man alone, that's not good.
God treated woman as the answerto the very first problem.
I believe that women are multipliers of every thing they come in contact with.
When you look at the DNA ofa man, he is an X and a Y.
But you look at the DNAof a woman, and she is XX, she has this capacity to multiply.
And I'm gonna to Genesis chapter one, I'm gonna read it out of the ESV and I'm going to read 1: 27-31, it says, “So God createdman in his own image, “in the image of God he created him; “male and female he created them.
” Now let's think about this.
Eve was always in Adam, it was God who said, you know what? This earth needs her voice.
This earth needs her ability to multiply.
This earth needs to be hearing the things that a womanbrings to the equation, that multiplication.
And then it says, “And God bless them.
“He blessed them.
” What does that even mean? He blessed them.
It means that God, releasesomething intangible, to make everything tangiblein their life, come together.
And God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, “fill the earth, subdue it, “have dominion over the fish of the sea, “over the birds of the heavens, “over every living thingthat moves on the earth.
“and God said, “Behold, Ihave given you every plant “yielding seed that ison the face of the earth “and every tree was seed and its fruit.
“you shall have them for your food “and every beast of the earth, “and to every bird of the heavens “and to everything thatcreeps on the earth, “everything that has the breath of life, “I have given every green plant for food.
” “And it was so.
“And God saw everything that he had made, “and behold, it was very good.
” Now one of the paraphrases, the message paraphrase said, It was so good, so very good.
What does this tell us? This tells us that healthy God blessedrelationships prosper.
They take responsibility, they multiply.
They exercise something called dominion, and dominion is when I usethe authority on my life to lift others.
It is when I say, okay, I havea god given gift on my life, how can I use that giftto lift other people, God gives dominion to the man and he gives dominion to the woman, he does not give themdominion over each other, he gives them co dominion over the earth, and he says, cause it to befruitful, cause it to increase.
But you know, there wassomething called the fall, and the fall messed up allthese areas of increase, and now all the sudden, you see a breakdown between mankind and their heavenly creator.
Then you see a breakdown, man to woman.
Then you see a breakdownpeople to the earth, parents to children, brotherto brother, sister to sister.
But here's the good newsthat I know all of you know, Jesus came to seek andsave that which was loss.
And every area of life that suffered loss, which was pretty much every area.
He has given us back his name to have authority and dominion, so that we can reorder things.
There has never been a greater time for people to see loving relationships, there has never been a more important time for us to do this gender thing well.
I believe that houses are the healthiest when it has both the voice of a father and the voice of a mother.
And that together thosetwo can have one heart and speak to the same purpose.
So I wanna talk about some stats that they came out with because again, we just said how amazing women are.
We just said how women are.
Now, so I'm gonna give you some stats that Boston University came out with.
They did a study.
They're like, I'm notsure if it's really true that it's not good for man to be alone.
That's Genesis 2:18.
So they said, let's do this whole study.
Let's spend thousandsand thousands of dollars and let's see if this is true.
And what they discovered was that 80% of the violent crimes committed in the United States of America are actually committedby single men, not good.
They also discoveredthat if a man is single, he will actually, y'all, don't be scared.
He will actually die 10 years earlier than a man who is married.
A married man will outlivehis single brothers by 10 years now.
I don't know why women areacting desperate to get married, because single women and marriedwomen die at the same age.
So you need to stop being desperate.
You need to say, “I don't know who “I'm gonna add 10 years to, I need to think about this.
” They also discovered that if a man was a high school graduateand he got married, the woman added, this is amazing, added to his earning potential, at the same level as a college education.
If he was a college graduate, the woman gave him a Master's.
If he had a Master's, that wife gave him a PhD.
That's crazy amazing.
See, I believe thatmale and female together is a power union.
It's not a power struggle.
Marriage is a power union.
So this is why it's importantthat we celebrate mother's and y'all guys, you'llget your father's In June, but right now we're gonnatalk about the differences in our strength.
So men are really good withsomething called structure.
Now, that doesn't mean womencan't be good with structure.
But it means that men are usuallymore structurally mindset.
For example, I toldyou I raised four boys, I saved every single one of those Legos that my boys when they were little, I put them in Tupperware containers so that I could be thefavorite grandmother.
And my boys when their dad was little, this is before cellphones, that's how old we are.
John would land in the Orlandoairport, call me and say, “baby, I'm on my way home.
” What was he really saying? He was saying Lisa, I knowyou have no concept of time.
I know our children are runningaround in their underwear.
I know you probably haven'ttaken a shower in two days.
You got 45 minutes toget the house cleaned and all of that takencare of, it was a warning.
I'd be like, “Oh, good, I'm so glad to see.
“I can't wait to see you.
” Hang up the phone, boys, ohmy gosh, dad's on his way.
Everybody would go into high alert.
I'd brush my teeth, everything was happening.
But my boys were super excitedabout making their dad proud.
Every young man has two goals in life.
He wants to make his dad proud and he wants to beat him at sports.
Those are the two major goalsthat they will shoot for.
And so my boys were toosmall to beat John in sports, so they would build these Lego towers and it was all about howtall the tower could go.
And when John would come home, he would look at the towers.
And he would be like, “wow, I really liked this tower.
” And then the boys would say, “dad watch.
” They get a car out of the toy box, back it up and crush into the Lego tower.
It was always about a bigbuild, and a big crash.
One time, and it was only one time, I was allowed to babysitmy friend's daughter.
And when I put her onthe floor with Legos, she didn't build towers.
She built rooms, andshe created these rooms with beds and chairs and tables.
And she actually got out Lego people.
My boys were okay with drivingcars without people in it.
But she got out a guyLego, and a girl Lego, and she had them holding hands.
I remember my boys being horrified.
They're like, “What isshe doing with our Lego? “Why is a girl playing right now?” And I think she knew shehad some kind of power.
So she had the guy Legoand the girl Lego kiss.
And when that happened, my boys are like, now we're going to haveto burn those Legos.
I want you to know, this little girl at four or five years of age, was exemplifying somethingthat women are really good at, and that is nurture.
Men have structure and womenhave something called nurture.
Nurture is the abilityto make connections.
Nurture is the abilityto protect relationships.
Nurture is the abilityto create an environment for the young or at risk to flourish.
And when we talk about the church, I know that pastor Matt, and pastor Tammy wanna celebrate that themen have been amazing at providing structure andleadership and guidance, but to cultivate women you have created this amazingenvironment of nurture, that has made this church notjust big, but made it safe.
It is built in a differentway when it's just women, or just men, but together, Sandals Church has representedwhat God always meant to be very good.
Another thing is the man guards the house, but the woman guards the heart.
Maybe you think, “No, that's not important.
” Listen to me, there isno more noble commission than guarding the heart of your children, guarding the heart of your husband, guarding the heart ofyour house of worship, guarding the heart of your city, guarding the heart.
Think about right now, how many people needguardians of the heart? They are looking for people who are safe, where they can share their fears, their worries, their concerns.
And I believe that you arenoble guardians of the heart.
And if anybody ever tried to strip the value of thatcontribution from you, I'm just gonna tell you.
My favorite thing I'veever done in my life is be a mother.
It's not standing on stages.
It's not writing books.
It's being a mother.
I want you to know, youare not just a mother, you are a hero.
You are a woman of virtue, which means a force for good.
You are a woman of valor, which means courageous.
Being a mother is beinga warrior for life.
Somebody who whispers prayers and goes right intothe throne room of God.
Also, being a mother means you give out, and you give out, and you give out.
This is your pause.
This is your day.
This is your permission to receive, because you have every right to come into the presence of your father.
Because long before you became a mother, you were first and foremost, his daughter.
– And that is why I love Lisa Bevere.
She's just a woman of Godwho has not only wisdom, but experience and I just think there were so many goodthings for us to talk about.
What were some of thetakeaways for you, Matt? – The number one takeaway andI hope you did not miss this.
And just so you know, whenI listen to a speaker, I'm listening for that nugget of wisdom, and I thought the thingthat was the most amazing whether you're marriedor single, young or old, is my question to you is what's the yoke that you're wearing? So a yoke is a piece ofequipment you put on an animal so that it can pull something.
So it's, it's pulling youback, it's holding you back.
What's the yoke that you're pulling that's a mantle to your spouse? And so for Tammy and I, early on, we really struggled with finances.
And so Tammy paid the bills.
And let me just tell you, she would pay the bills, come out it's the end of theworld, we're all gonna die.
And it was hell to pay foreveryone about everything for at least a couple ofhours after we paid the bills, and we fought about who can pay the bills and the big issue was, and rightfully so, you didn't trust me with the finances.
And we went to counseling overwho gets to pay the bills.
We paid money to someone, a third party, to teach us how to pay bills.
But Tammy just share sharewith just our church, how that that helped you and changed you as you allowed me andI made some mistakes.
I mean, I missed some billsearly on because I was a boy and part of the reason I was a boy is you kind of were my mom.
And so there was there was some changing that had to happen there but tell tell us, Sandals family, what that did for you, when you let me take that onand it was a yoke for you, but it was a mantle for me.
Carrying the weight of our finances, being the only eyes on them.
You know, back in that day, we're like doing checksand balancing a checkbook.
There was no not even like online.
– And there was no for margin.
– And we were starting off.
It was such a hard time but the truth is I didn't trust Matt in that time.
I thought I do this.
I'm the one that's more responsible and that's one of the thingsthat was such a standout to me.
I was convicted and also so glad to not be in that place anymore.
I mothered you and I didn'ttreat you like my husband, when she talks to that point.
It's so good about justwives, treating your spouse like I said.
The truth is I didn't trust you.
We were young.
That's how you start off in marriage.
I didn't let you grow up.
And as soon as I'm so stressedand nervous every month, and Matt said, we'll all do the bills.
Little did either of us know, you're actually brilliantwith finances and numbers.
And he took it on and it was like, I would be stressed forthe whole week following, you know, bill time, and you're just like, done and immediately, like, moves it over to a better system.
And I was so relieved.
And that was one of such a hugegrowth part in our marriage, because we became partners instead of new mothering you and the more that Imothered you in that way, the more you behaved irresponsibly.
And as soon as whatwas such a burden to me was given to you, you rose to the occasion and it was a blessing to andyou grew up in that ways.
And when you grew up, we grewup together in a new way.
So I loved her point about, wives just don't treat your husband like you're their mother.
And here's the thing as wives, we get so frustrated when we do that.
But actually, the more we do it, the more it plays off of each other.
So it's like we createour own situation in that, and it happens innocently.
I know it takes intentionalityto get out of it.
But that was such a good word, I think for anybody who's married.
And here's the thing, when you and I werelistening to this message we were thinking about, what about the peoplein here who aren't moms or aren't married, and I thought, man, I wish I would have had that wisdom before we were married.
When I was a young girlthinking about my future, thinking about who I wanted to be.
And so I think if you're not married, and you're a young woman right now, I think that word fromLisa is so good for you to tuck away for whenit really matters about, you're not looking forsomeone else to mother, you're looking for someoneto be a partner with.
– We talked about somethingTammy needed to release.
Well, let me tell yousomething I needed to release.
And guys, listen to me.
It's so important that you, as the spiritual leader, don't give your input on everything.
And one of the areas we foughton was how the house looked.
I thought I had to have input, right? Because I'm at least 50%, right? And at the end of the dayI don't care how it looks.
I just care that it lookslike she's married to a man, that's all I care about isthat people walk in and go, “Okay, this is a traditionalheterosexual marriage.
” And she's married to a man.
And and once we got that, she comes to me and I said, you're better at this than me.
I stress about it.
I worry about it.
And I just trust her with that.
And over time, we figured out our finances and we will be yoked together.
But that happens when you sayTammy's good at these things, I'm good at this.
– Key word in this is over time.
It's something you grow into, that's good.
– And another thing, just really understand each other's strengths as strengths and weaknesses as notsins, but weaknesses.
I tend to be very forwardthinking and visionary, I miss out on the present and family.
Tammy is sometimes way toofocused in the here and now and can't see, you know, down the street.
And so we have to learn, okay, I need Tammy.
Because her strength, her mantle is family, what's important.
Tammy needs to learn thatmy mantle is the future and where we're going.
And so we've learnedto work that together.
So I just really wantyou, that was a nugget.
Man, if you missed it, God's grace, that was one of the most powerful things I've heard just dropped in a kitchen.
And here's why? 'Cause she said it was the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit spoke to her, just like the Holy Spiritwants to speak to you.
And there are somethings that you're doing that the Holy Spirit's going, why are you doing this? – My heart when I was listeningto the message was for, it's Mother's Day weekend.
Lisa's clearly talkingabout herself as a mother and two mothers, which it's not lost on us that there's a room.
I mean, like a virtual room, the room everyone sittingin is not just mothers.
And so I'm thinking okay, well, what what is this for them? And for everybody out therewho maybe you wanna be a mom and that's not been your story, and you haven't been able to have a baby, your kids are grown, whatever that looks likefor everyone else watching.
Here's what I would say, is some of the mostsignificant people in my life have been women who are not my mom.
My mom is wonderful, she's significant.
I'm not saying that but I'm saying we all have a way to contribute as women, like Lisa gave such good stats about the value of women in our world and not to replace men or out do man men but just the value that we bring.
And so to every woman out there, whether you're a mom or not, here's what I wanna say to you.
If you're not a mom yet, let this be a word to you about the mom you you want to be, learn from that wisdom that Lisa gave.
And then if you're ifyou're not able to be a mom, that's not that's just not your choice or the choice for you.
Who in your life can you be investing in? Lisa has been one person but I've had other women inmy life older than me say, let me love on you in this way.
Let me invest.
We've both had, we've hadmen and women, Grandpa Jack, who's who's been that figurein our life in different ways.
So none none of us are exempt from being someone significant and strong in the life of someone else.
And then I think, what wouldyou say to all of this? So I'm speaking to moms, whomaybe aren't actual moms, but to all the men in the room or the kids in the roomor the teens in the room, what would your word forthem be to their actual mom? Because if we're notmom, we all have a mom.
– What I would say isyou need to take this day to honor your mom, and you say why? It's just a holiday hallmark invented.
Well, actually the 10commandments invented it.
And it says, honor your mother and father.
The apostle Paul says, it's the first commandment with a promise that things will go for well for you, if you honor mom and dad, so think about some things that you could honor your mom for.
And I realize it's difficult to do under these times and circumstances, but you need to do that.
And then let me speak to the single women.
Some of you're like, I'mnot a mom, I'm single, that this message completelydidn't speak to me, and that's because you didn't listen.
One of the things I wantedyou to hear as a single woman, is how much value you add to a man.
And Lisa kind of ranthrough that rather quickly.
But a woman, adds valueto a man's income ability, adds value to to who he is and how he sees himself.
– Years to his life.
– 10 years to his life, right? Which is amazing, because Ithought you'd kill me but, you know, we're kidding a little bit.
I just want you to hearme, you have value.
And now if you're asingle man in our church, what are you doing? What are you doing? Do you wanna die quicker, make less money and be dumber? We keep playing video games.
Get off the video games, finda good woman in our church, settle down, live longer, make more money, be happier and be smarter.
That's what she said, and you guys just need to do that.
And here's the thing isa lot of you are looking for Mr.
And here's the thing thatI realized about Tammy after about 10 years of somegood you know, fighting, right? I realized that a lot of the things that drove me crazy about her, I don't mean crazy like, I love you.
I mean crazy, like I need away from you.
Social distancing instantly.
– Before it was a thing.
We had it figured out.
– I realized that a lot of the things that drove me crazy about Tammy were the things I needed the most.
I needed to hear these truths.
I needed to have these spoken to me.
And really at the end of the day, here's what I hated about Tammy, it was her strength.
What sin is that? And it was her strengthand her unwillingness to relinquish and say that's okay because there were thingsabout me that weren't okay.
Things relationally, things leadership wise, things as a husband, and a lot of the times the things that you guys are nitpicking on, you just you need to hear that.
And say, okay, Tammy loves me.
And here's some things I'm doing that are really frightening her and making her feel insecure.
So I need to listen to that.
And, oftentimes I'll seesingles in our church, we're just friends.
You guys are husband and wifeand you don't even know it.
Everybody else can see it.
And listen to me singles, some of you are so caught up, looking for your idealpicture of what you think a wife would look like.
And that wife is right next to you, and that husband is right next to you and God's already put them there.
And singles, you don'thave to get married.
God loves you.
Jesus was single, Jeremiah was single.
You don't have to bemarried or to have children to fulfill God's will.
Jesus didn't do that and he fulfilled God's willbetter than anything else.
But I think it's importantthat you heard that, that men and women are acomplement to each other.
And when a husband andwife operate in unity, great things happen.
And a lot of us don't think about this.
She talked a lot about Genesis and some of you've never readGenesis, go back and read it.
And she talked about who Adam was, but there was something missing.
And so God's plan was to create a helper and then I want you togo and look at Genesis 3, and look at the breakdown.
So God tells Adam he hasauthority over every animal.
You know what that means.
The only reason thesnake was in the garden is because Adam let him in.
So Adam lets the snake in the garden, Eve listens to the snake.
And that's how we fall together.
When men failed to lead.
and women listen to other voices and other things that are saying is that what God really said? So God whispers to women, you're not good enough.
You're not right, you're not a good mom.
And men fall asleep at the spiritual helm.
Because they let the snakecome into the garden.
Adam had all authorityover every animal, read it.
Even though the snake was crafty, Adam, he could have said be gone.
But instead he just sat there and watched his wife have a conversation with something he knew hadno business in the garden.
And so I want you to thinkabout that as a couple.
What are some thingsthat you've let slither into your home, into your lifethat has no business there? And you too as a coupleneed to say you know what, this Mother's Day we needto get our family right.
We need to do this.
And I just love Lisa, and let me read it right.
Let boys be boys, right? Boys are boys.
You know Tammy was so cute.
We had two girls, Barbie dolls.
What were those littlethings they played with? Polly pockets.
Our house is full of Polly Pockets, right? When I went to Toys R Us when there was a thing called Toys R Us.
We went to the pink aisle, with pink everything and there with no GI Joe's, no Star Wars.
It was pink everything.
So we have our ever son and Tammy says we're not gonna have gunsin the house, no guns.
My son took a coat hanger off the rack and pointed at Tammy and shot her with it.
She goes, that's just him.
It's just him.
And just know that God's made boys boys and God's made girls girls, and we need to honor that and we're better togetherand we need them.
– And that's what I would sayis women text me all the time.
How do I get my husband to act like a man? And I think that's the word Lisa had is treat him like one.
Stop treating me like a boy, give some wiggle room for the readjustment but let him be a man inyour home and support that and when it gets itright make a deal of it.
And for everybody who's nothas been in life not married, not having kids this weekend, this is such a great time for you to be looking and trackingwith where you wanna go.
– And I would also say thisto our younger audience at Sandals Church.
Our daughters complain alot, they're both dating, and they compare their 21 year old and 25 year old boyfriendsto their 48 year old dad.
And I just have to tell my girls, I haven't always been 48.
And I became 48, and Ibecame the man I am today because Tammy loved methrough my stupidity, and stood by me through some mistakes, and I made some mistakes.
But oftentimes, the best waymen lead is by blowing it and having to come back and say, you know what, I waswrong, and you are right, and I should have listened.
And at the end of theday, men and women, man, it's not about submitting to each other.
What comes before that? We submit to Christ.
We submit to Him first, and we trust Him and we trust God knows to what's best.
So I just wanna close bysaying thank you so much for everybody who gives.
Thank you for letting me have a week off.
We're so grateful.
This was a crazy week andthank you Lisa for filling in.
I'll be back next weekend.
I wanna close withsomething really special.
And I want you to know, for those of you who give I can't believe that you are giving.
In the midst of uncertainty, Sandals has been able to pay our bills, we haven't had to lay anybody off and that's because ofyou and your generosity.
And because you're giving, because you trust God, we have reached on the internet, three million separate views.
I want that just to sinkin, three million people have heard the gospel, heard our vision, been introduced to Sandalschurch because you give.
Because without margin, withoutmoney, there is no ministry.
It does not happen.
And so I just wanna say thank you so much.
And get this, so threemillion views, 79 countries.
79 countries around the world.
Who thought a little church inour little home in Riverside, 79 countries around theworld are tuning in? And that's only possible because you give.
So I wanna close by sayingthank you for what you give.
And I want you to listen to this video.
It's Mother's Day.
And this video, so you can just call in and leave us messages we listen to them, and from time to time we post them.
But this is from a womanwho runs a woman shelter for women who are escapingabusive relationships and they have kids.
And she sent this in and just told us she was so thankful for theministry that you provide, because she was able to lead, listen to this listen.
She was able to lead mothers who are coming from abusive situations, she was able to lead theirchildren to Jesus Christ because of the Ministry of Sandals Church.
So I just wanna say thank you.
Thank you for giving, because you gave these little kids thatyou're gonna hear about, this is a real phone call.
It's always like thosethose car commercials.
These are not actors, these are real people.
This is not an actor.
It's a real person who called in and she's just saying thank you so much for what you do SandalsChurch, and how you give because she was able toshare Christ with these kids who are escaping such horriblecircumstances here on Earth.
They know they have a father in heaven.
And they know that thereare women that love them and share the gospel with them.
So thank you so much Sandals church.
So listen to this andI'll see you next week.
As we start our new series called elevate.
You don't want to miss it, because I believe God can lift you out of whatever you're going through right now because of who He is and not because of your circumstances.
So thank you so much, guys.
We love you so much.
Thank you, Lisa Bevere, God bless guys.
– [Kelly] Hi, my name is Kelly and I manage a localshelter here in Riverside for women and children who are fleeing from domestic violence.
And we actually bring our shelter to worship with SandalsChurch every Sunday and many of our moms continueto attend Sandals Church even after the time with us is done which is usually about six months.
When I saw that we'reobserving the Lord's Supper, it allowed me the opportunity to have a group chat withthe small kiddos in the house because we're I'll be watching the service together as a family.
Well, the conversationabout the Lord's Supper naturally opened up the floor for me to offer a time for the children to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
And I'm so thrilled to share that three, three of my shelter kiddos prayed to receive Christ thisGood Friday morning.
Thank you so much Sandals Church for providing opportunitiesfor God to be glorified, no matter how near or far.
It's just a simple reminder that despite this Coronavirusand this quarantine, God is sovereign and he'sstill sitting on his throne.
God bless and thank you so much.
♪ The Lord bless you ♪ ♪ And keep you ♪ ♪ Make His face shine upon you ♪ ♪ And be gracious to you ♪ ♪ The Lord turn His ♪ ♪ Face toward you ♪ ♪ And give you peace ♪ ♪ The Lord bless you ♪ ♪ And keep you ♪ ♪ Make His face shine upon you ♪ ♪ And be gracious to you ♪ ♪ The Lord turn His ♪ ♪ Face toward you ♪ ♪ And give you peace ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ Your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His presence go before you ♪ ♪ And behind you, and beside you ♪ ♪ All around you, and within you ♪ ♪ He is with you, He is with you ♪ ♪ In the morning, in the evening ♪ ♪ In your coming, and your going ♪ ♪ In your weeping, and rejoicing ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His presence go before you ♪ ♪ And behind you, and beside you ♪ ♪ All around you, and within you ♪ ♪ He is with you, He is with you ♪ ♪ In the morning, in the evening ♪ ♪ In your coming, and your going ♪ ♪ In your weeping, and rejoicing ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ – So here's what you can know today that no matter who youare, what your story is, or what circumstance you find yourself in, God's presence is withyou, surrounding you, that He's fighting your battles, that he loves you and cares for you.
And that is also true forus here at Sandals Church.
If you need prayer, orsupport, encouragement or care, please reach out and let us know.
If you go to sandalschurch.
One of our ministers willreach out and connect with you and help you face whatever itis you may be going through.
We're so grateful thatyou joined us this weekend and I wanna invite youto come back next weekend as we launch a brand new series with our lead pastor Matt Brown on how to elevate your spiritual, mental and emotionalhealth during this time.
You're gonna wanna be thereand you wanna invite a friend.
We can't wait to see you there.
Love you guys.
See you next week.
today's special totally I'm gonna grab this one and let me grab the cover okay grab these two so completely different experience totally different story same great name and I love this is the kind of thing you you know from Clark's is give me something I can wear with
everything and then of course we have those days when we want to do that casual more flip-flop design but you know what a flip-flop usually is it's cardboard and it falls apart and it's not even worth a penny you know and you spend a lot of money on
it or you get the quality of clerks and this is now the cloud stepper collection which is a different story from our today's special but still all surrounding that idea of comfort if you know my Michelle first I'm gonna do all the colors right because there's so many
great colors in this and then we'll go to the phones and I promise I'm going to take your call in one second so if we start right here check this out do you love that special little aqua box or do you love your turquoise jewelry this is a
gorgeous aqua and I got a bet you probably don't have that color in your wardrobe it's beautiful then beside here black is easy this is gonna be the black so that's great for everyday and everybody then we have this awesome Navy I love the contrasting stitch on here
this is a great color this is a pewter that totally caught my eye earlier in fact that's the color I'm wearing I wanted to wear those then look how fun these are this is the red you've got the rose gold in front of you and then the furan
we have white this is six through 12 it is medium sizes and whole sizes only now what if I'm a half-size what should I do so if your half-size you want to size up okay well I'm a seven and a half so I have an eight today right
and I'm an eight and a half so I'm wearing the nine right now yeah okay yeah let's talk pricier because it's huge these are 41 64 yeah my producer who wears sandals he says I'll buy a shoe with a lot less features and they're $80 easily you know
and so we have four flex pays at ten dollars and 41 cents on any major credit card if you want to take that as an option okay so where did we begin with these little youngsters these are so amazing these are from our cloud supper line which are
a cloud stopper line debuted in 2015 it's all about that light wait comfort and just softness from the very first step we truly created this line for you to love every step that you're taking so this is that sandal that is not going to over time like you
mentioned you're not gonna need to throw it away because it's going to last season after season you've got that polyurethane upper which looks like a leather again but super durable so if you're at the beach or at the pool and you get sand on this just run it
under the faucet okay I mean really I could have sworn this is leather I didn't know it wasn't leather that it looked that awesome and then you've got that little hook and loop closure on the top so again if you've got a high instep or a low instep
that's totally adjustable but you don't need to adjust it you know once it's in place of where you need where you want it and then we've got a fabric little toe post so it's not gonna be like that hard leather that digs in between your toes it's super
soft in between it's gonna feel like it's broken in right out of the box now let's show them the bed itself because there's a whole story behind the layers on this bed so this here shows you all the layers of cushioning that you are getting underneath your foot
it's truly amazing so and just to let you know an average comfort brand' shoe has 4 to 5 millimeters this has 16 mililiters millimeters I'm sorry here 16 so that's more than triple of what a normal comfort brand' shoe has so you're getting six millimeters of that Evie
a foam that's what they use to make running shoes so it's super lightweight and flexible and it's gonna absorb any shock then we've got a piece of insole board and then 10 millimeters of that Evie a outsole which again is going to absorb any shock and we could
have stopped there but we added that extra layer of that thermoplastic rubber so that's gonna give you that great grip in traction when you're you know in the pool this summer chasing the kids around you need to be make sure you're not slipping and sliding around it's really
crazy how many layers of comfort you're getting in this shoe and think about it you maybe have seen little sandals that are out there they're $200 and they're made of cardboard and you know he's like oh wife and you're gonna throw them away every penny and what you
hit one puddle and they completely dissolve on your feet and they fall apart and they're miserable and awful and there's no there's no support for your foot whatever you can really feel the support built into these anyway we again size-wise it's 6 through 12 these are medium or
whole sizes only if you're a half size go up all right head back to the phone's business shell it's myself Suzanne where are you from and what's your name oh hi this is Claire hi Claire are you from Claire I'm with you watching the mermaids are there absolutely
well we're so I'm so happy that HSN is carrying them there I can't get them in a department store I because smaller size I carry it oh and I wear either a 5 or or 5 and a half yeah and by the way in the sports sandals tell
the women to not go up a size go damn well no we go up if you're a half size well if you're wrong and a half size but in the class steppers I normally take a 5 in the ones you're showing I have them I also have them
in the Aqua it is very beautiful yeah I mean a little bit more room and that's amazing and the white and I have sort of coral color well this is a perfect shoe all my shoes that are comfortable on me sure absolutely God that you're carrying them at
HSN well thank you for being with us there thanks for joining us tonight and you I ordered the white and the black and I have a white and a black already but they were different and I figured I go there but I've been I saw the sandals before
you put my pulse and the lunch and I might have to go back and order them well I would sort it and thank you so much Claire for joining it says I loved her enthusiasm she's really like I've had a lot of these sandals and they're great and
um literally all winter long I love your recommendation your husband wears them with his suit the Blackwell right absolutely he loves them because they no longer I don't know what it is with men's dress socks I know they all fall down they all fall down and they're quite pricey yeah for what you're getting this right here you're getting a pack of three for $19.
99 six value pay of three dollars and 33 cents plus a buy more save more of three dollars off each additional pack of three that you add on so the second set it's going to be $16.
99 on zero zero two two two eight so it was a big deal the combination of compression and infer absolutely is the first company to bring this to you exclusive at shop HQ with you you know they're my faith they're your faith and you know what they're my fate do I wear these as well um I gave this to my aunt I said these to her she had a stroke last year and her legs are so cold always her circulation was really bad I thought that compression you wouldn't make her feel better she loves them so five out of five stars energizing these are now my go-to socks calves and feet feel great after a long day I wish I purchase more when they were on sale I might pick up some at the current price they are so worth it Wow thank you so much for that nice and kind review okay so that's item number zero zero two two to eight we really do appreciate you taking the time to write the reviews everyone as we continue on with Chris only 15 more minutes now you get reduced shipping when you add on the mid-calf stock it's the three pack or the six pack on zero zero two three six nine forty percent off and we do have those in the black and the white choice as well if you just need compression in your feet these are the ones that I have I work out in these I live in these oh my gosh I love them zero zero two two three four $12.
99 for the three pack $19.
99 for the six pack but then we have three dollars off each additional one to think about that you're going to get that second three pack for under $10 they're also my fav I I brought him up to the cabin this weekend of yes we can find everybody's like wait what are those night I told the whole infrared story and I think everybody has online you're always working she's always motivated always working we love that about you okay so let's move into our set of two infrared compression knee sleeves we've sold over seventeen hundred and sixty-five of these since the debut in September we do have a buy more save more of three dollars off each additional one that you do add on so the second one's going to be eleven dollars and ninety nine cents so and by the way that reduced shipping is down to 249 whenever we say reduced shipping it's half the price of the shipping and handling that you see on the first one so what who needs a nice Lee so anybody who says my knee bugs me which is like I don't know it's the percentages but it's a high percentage of Americans if you have a knee issue from being overweight or your joints are stiff if you have a knee issue from a high school football injury or whatever it might be a nice leave is that same concept of compression you've seen pro athletes using it for years it's given that little bit of hug into an area that needs attention to support the stiff floor muscles and joints and it's going to help you revitalize and feel good now the idea behind the sleeve is not to make you immobile is to improve your mobilization so it leads to help you bend and stretch and move and feel better throughout the day oh I love that and you know what when you're using your ultra core or that bike and you're getting started it really is easy on the joints but when you're working out where this right exactly and I wanna I'm gonna ask the visuals if I can get a measuring tape I do want to be able to show you because the waves measure these is so important I want you to know that that really makes a difference because I said it earlier with compression too much or too much too little is too little Johnny locks okay not just the whole thing that's right just right so I just found out we are going back to ultra core are we at guys we have so many people still in the ordering process and they want it's a new low price at $39.
99 and they want to see we're not okay I had you run through those five exercises ever is like oh they wanted well so let me make a point she's handing you this right now because this is such an important item so many people love this but when you order in what I want you to do is take a measuring tape not so much go five inches above your kneecap got it and then go around this is the part of the thigh that you are you are measuring you are not measuring this your kneecap yes during five inches up now I am about a 15 and a half 16 let okay the sizing real quick we have small medium or large extra-large and there you go so just order correctly and you know get them and then you could have one in your gym bag one on your knee one on both knees give one to your partner put one in the laundry these are game change and it's five inches again above the center of your knee and our sales associates have all that information for you these are 50% off your true energy set up to infrared compression these sleeves and I don't think you can ever be too young right you're young teenagers that are playing sports no oh this is for all ages listen if you have somebody who is you know in youth sports and their knee bothers them this is going to be great if you are that person who says hey you know I got old college you know volleyball married nags me this is gonna be great wear this under your tights ladies wear this under your leggings near jeans it's so thin no one will know you have it on but if this means that you can go holiday shopping with the grandkids if this means that you can get out and sightsee on your vacation if this means that you can go to work and not complain about your knee hey it's worth trying we have a really nice little band on the inside that keeps it from falling down I like that so it's gonna stay up on your leg it's good silicone grippers right and it's the true energy story of infrared compression the infrared particles are woven into the fabric yeah therefore vivid animation for this to re-energize yeah let's look at this because multi-directional compression stretch so remember it's not a brace it helps you move but the anti slip top and then the particles that are infused into the fabric that are going to redirect the heat into the muscles that literally help you improve your circulation or joint movement your soreness and stiffness it's pretty incredible it is pretty incredible we have to move on because we're going back to ultra core okay zero zero two four six seven she's already always ready for another workout I mean I am burning calories today we do have some testimonials on the knee sleeve that I want to roll through here I'm so glad I tried the true energy knee sleeves I have minor circulation issues in my right leg and I've been wearing the sleeve mostly at night for that reason the sleeve is comfortable and while at the same time giving support and compression I could tell a very positive difference after wearing the sleeve for just one night thanks again for inducing for introducing me to this technology but it's our pleasure to our customers to bring you unique and different products now let's go online we have a lot of great healthy choices for you on shop hq.
com so go check that out and are today's top deal we had the final presentation on our toes L throw look at how beautiful this is what about sunglasses I bought sunglasses as holiday gifts last year for my kids I even got him nice designer pair for myself for our beach trip as well okay now it is time for us to go back to ultra core I'm so excited for everybody on this what a great great deal brand-new low price of under $40 $39.
99 zero zero to one to two is your item number it will arrive 100% assembled so let me share with everyone what you're getting in the final five to six minutes it's going to be a really fast presentation on our ultra core max it's the foldable full body and again it arrives 100% assembled so this is the black choice it's always a customer favorite this is great for Dad great for your grandpa great for your brother maybe your son if the guys want to keep it really cool and edgy looking in the black choice you also get a yoga mat included how much do you pay for just a yoga mat when you're out there shopping is at $19.
99 is it $24.
99 this whole offering is $39.
99 then check this exercise guide out I had Chris to quickly go through five or six exercises at the end of our last presentation and they said the phone lines went wild I'm gonna walk her through the same thing in a minute so stay tuned and then you also have a DVD so we have the black choice we have the red choice right here for those of you that love that holiday red color Red's always been just one of my favorite colors Chris Freytag is back everyone she is our health and wellness coach here at shop HQ.
– Hey, everybody.
Welcome to Sandals Church.
We are all about thisvision of being real.
And if you're wondering, how do I live out this vision in my life? I would love to invite youto check out our podcast where we give realanswers to tough questions with Pastor Matt, and all you have to dois go to debrief.
show to start listening today.
Thanks so much for joining us.
Enjoy the message.
(funky music) ♪ Whoo ♪ ♪ Ah-ha ♪ ♪ Hey hey Marjorie ♪ ♪ Hey hey Marjorie, yeah ♪ ♪ You know you do something to me ♪ ♪ You know, you know, you know ♪ ♪ Hey hey Marjorie, ha ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Da da da da da da ♪ ♪ Hey hey, whoo hoo hoo ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ah ah ah ♪ – Good morning, Sandals Church.
(congregation applauds) Man, thank you so much for taking time to fill out that survey.
I don't know what it is about our culture but we hate filling outthings, we hate doing anything.
And I don't wanna talk toyou today about a survey, I wanna talk to you about a list in heaven that you need to sign up for.
The Book of Revelations saysthere's a book in heaven.
On the Day of Judgment, it will be opened.
And your name is eitherin that book or it's not.
And there are no mistakes, there's no errors.
It's a perfect bookwritten by a perfect God.
And the thing is your nameis written in that book based upon your choice.
And I've gotta be honest with you, I didn't sleep very well last night.
Any time I know that I'mgonna give an invitation, an opportunity forpeople to receive Christ, a get a little anxious.
And Ithink that that's a good thing 'cause if I was gonna dobrain surgery on you today, I would hope that you would think I would be a little anxious because a lot could go wrong in that.
But today it's not justyour life that's at stake, it's your eternal life that's at stake.
And we're in this seriescalled “Relational Remix” where we're looking athow to change the way we relate to ourselves, to our friends, to our husbands or wives, our kids.
And today I wanna talk to you about how to change the way you relate to God.
Because I meet people all the time who are not interested in church.
They're not interested in religion.
And they say things likethis, “Me and God are good.
” And they assume that they get to decide how the relationship is going.
You know, I've been married for 23 years, you've got to meet my wife last week, she was up on stage with me.
If you asked me, “How is yourrelationship with Tammy?” You know it's one thing for me to assume, it's another thing for me toask Tammy, “How are we doing?” She might have a different answer than me.
Amen, husbands? God might have adifferent answer than you.
You're like, “Me and God are good.
” And God's like, “Why don'tyou ask me how we are?” And that's what I wannaencourage you today.
Ask God how are you, because may be calling you to change the way yourelate to him forever.
So let's begin with a word of prayer.
God, we ask that your HolySpirit would be amongst us, God, that you wouldstrengthen, Lord, my voice, my heart, my spirit, God, and that you would just movein the hearts of us today.
And Lord, if there's somebodyhere today, even one, that needs to make a decision so that their name iswritten in the Book of Life, God, I pray that they raise their hand at the end of the service, they repent of their sins, and they believe in your son Jesus Christ.
So be with us today, we praythis in Jesus' name, amen.
I wanna share with youa seminal story for me in terms of my understanding of God and the vision of our church.
Why is Sandals soconcerned with being real? And this is one of thosestories that Jesus tells that helps us tounderstand why authenticity is so close to the heart of God.
Jesus tells this story.
“He told this story tosome, ” underline this, “who had great confidencein their own righteousness.
” And let's stop there, I don't wanna talk about the next part.
We live in a culture wherepeople have great confidence in their own self-righteousness.
You see, that's why youthink you don't need God.
Because you're good.
You've got this.
You don't need God, you don'tneed organized religion, you don't need Jesus, you'regood, you've got this.
We live in a world whereeverybody thinks they're good.
We're good in our core, our desires are all good, our actions are all good.
Listen to me, this ishow self-righteous we are as a culture.
75 years ago, all the Disneycharacters that were evil, now movies are coming out likethey're really not that bad.
I mean, some of you took yourlittle girls to see a movie called “Maleficent, “and the word means evil, and you're like, “Iknow what we should do.
“Let's take our little girls “to watch evil perform on stage.
” And now we've gotta learn the backstory 'cause evil's not that evil.
Well, let me tell you something.
The Bible says, “Evil'sevil and good is good.
” And Disney's trying to rewriteit but God already wrote it.
And we need to know this.
Not everybody's good, noteverybody's going to heaven.
Every funeral I do, everybody's going to heaven.
It doesn't matter how they lived.
It doesn't matter what they did.
It doesn't matter whatthey believed about, Jesus.
Everybody's in heaven, playing golf, out in glamor on the sand with Jesus.
Everybody's surfing withJesus, knitting with Jesus, which would be hell for me.
(congregation laughs) If I'm knitting, I'm inhell, I'm not with Jesus.
(congregation laughs) And literally what we've made, heaven is simply ourhobbies forever with God.
And Jesus says, “Listen to me.
“Broad is the road thatleads to destruction.
” It's 91 Freeway.
You already know what that's like, you wanna be there forever? Think about a traffic jam forever and nobody's fixing it and you're stuck.
“Broad is the road thatleads to destruction.
” Jesus says, “There's apath up through the hills.
“Narrow is the path that leads to life “and there are few that find it.
” So the world says we're all good, Jesus says, “No, you're not.
” No, you're not.
“Jesus told this story tosome who had great confidence “in their own righteousness, “oh and by the way, “and scorned everyone else.
” You see, when you're self-confident, it's because you're not focused on God, you're focused on people.
And that's why we don't feel bad.
We don't feel bad about ourselves because we're not looking atGod, we're looking at people.
You're looking at your neighbor.
You're looking at your friends.
Tammy and I went to Disneyland, and I'm not big into rides.
I'm old now, I get dizzylooking at rides spin.
I can't even look at theteacups, how sad is that? That's how old I am.
People on the teacups, “Ah!” I'm like, “I can't even look, I'll vomit on you right now.
” But I don't like to ride therides, I like to watch people.
And let's be honest, we don't watch people, we judge people, amen? Nobody goes bird watching, that bird needs to lose weight.
(congregation laughs) Nobody does that.
We judge people.
We look down, wow, thesepeople are out of shape.
We judge people, we're critical of people.
We look at people whoare lower than ourselves and it gives us confidence.
You see, we feel lifted upwhen we put others down.
The problem is you're notgonna stand before people on Judgment Day, you're gonnastand before Almighty God.
And suddenly the tables are turned.
I remember years ago I didmy first Ironman Triathlon.
And if you don't know what an Ironman is, it was literally invented bya bunch of drunk military guys in Hawaii who had too much beers.
And you had a swimmerarguing against a runner, who is the better athlete? And so they picked cycling, that way it would make it fair.
And so the swimmer raced the runner and literally they picked the longest distance in the Olympics.
They picked the longestrunning event in the Olympics, the marathon.
And they rode their bikes around Hawaii, Oahu, which is 112 miles.
'Cause they were stupid.
And apparently there's morethan just 10 stupid guys on earth and so a bunch of people started doing and now it's a sport.
So I decided I would do it.
(congregation laughs) I remember the weekendright before my race.
A bunch of people knew I was doing it, they were praying forme and encouraging me.
I trained real hard.
And this old lady comesup to me and she's like, “Pastor, I'm praying for you.
“And I was like, “Thank you.
” She says, “I hope you win.
” I said, “Win? “I'm trying to survive.
” (congregation laughs) And she said, “Pastor, you'rethe fittest person I know.
” I said, “Well, I'm not racing you.
” (congregation laughs) Listen to me.
You're not racing your neighbor.
You're not racing your brother.
You're racing Jesus.
He's the author and theperfecter of our faith.
He's the one that ran the race and won.
And you know what that means? That means Mother Teresa falls short.
That means the Pope falls short.
That means your pastor falls short.
That means you fall short.
But people are still arrogant because our stupidity knows no bounds.
You ever met somebody that'sso confident and you're like, you don't say this out loud butsecretly you're like, “Why?” (congregation laughs) Jesus says, “Two men wentto the Temple to pray.
” I don't care if you're a man or a woman, young or you're old, I don'tcare what your ethnicity is.
Every single one of you is gonna identify with one of these two people.
You're either gonna feel like you're totally separate from God and there's no way God canfix the mess you've made, or you feel like God's prettylucky to have you on his team.
He says, “Two men wentto the Temple to pray.
“One was a Pharisee, “and the other was adespised tax collector.
” Write in your notes, they're both brilliant.
One studies theology andphilosophy, he's the Pharisee.
Speaks multiple languages.
Has memorized the whole Bible.
Think about that, memorized the whole Bible.
Some of you don't evenknow where your Bible is.
Memorized the whole Bible.
Another person is a genius inmathematics and calculations, algebra.
Both geniuses, one with math, one with philosophy and theology.
One chooses to devote their life to being perfect before the eyes of God.
Another one chooses their life to rip off their neighborsand their friends because tax collectors in theday and age of Jesus Christ didn't just collect taxes, they stole money from people for Rome.
So imagine you'reneighbor, you're buddies, you went to school together.
You get conquered by a foreign power.
And your nextdoor neighbordecides to go work for them and makes you pay taxes and oh by the way gauges you and tells you youowe more money than you do and they put it in their own pocket and they get wealthy while you get broke.
Tax collectors are hated.
Pharisees are esteemed.
“One was a Pharisee, the otherwas a despised tax collector.
“The Pharisee stood by himself.
” Isn't it amazing howself-righteousness likes to be alone? That's why some of you don'tthink you need small group, you're good.
I'm good, I don't need a group.
“Two men went to Temple.
“One was a Pharisee, one's tax collector.
“The Pharisee stood byhimself, he prayed this prayer.
“'Oh I thank you, God, I'mnot like other people.
'” Man! “I'm not like these people.
“Cheaters, sinners, and adulterers.
“I'm not like these people.
” You see, this guy goes to church and he feels like he'sgotta take a bath afterwards 'cause he's been around fungus.
And then he points.
“I'm certainly not likethat tax collector.
” Let me tell you something, as you age, that's how you know you're getting old.
When you're young, youtalk smack about people and you just look at them.
When you're old, you point.
My kids are like, “Dad, you're pointing.
” I'm like, “No, I'm not.
” (congregation laughs) Oh.
Life always puts my finger down.
They say, “Don't point.
” And I'm like, “I wasn't.
” “I'm certainly not like thattax collector, ” he says.
“I fast twice a week.
” Some of you can't go anhour without a Snickers bar.
Oh I'm suffering for Jesus.
I skipped second breakfast.
(congregation laughs) This guy only eats five days a week.
Two days a week, he eats nothing.
Some Pharisees, listento me, in the desert ate no food and drank no water.
He says, “I fast twice a week.
“Oh, and by the way, Igive you 10% of my income.
” So one guy steals from people, another guy takes 10% of hisincome and gives it to God.
“But the tax collectorstood at a distance.
“He dared not even lift hiseyes to heaven as he prayed.
“And he beat on his chest in sorrow.
“He said, 'O God, be mercifulto me, '” underline this.
“I'm a sinner.
” You see, some of you, you think God's impressed with your life.
You know what the Biblesays about your life? It says your best words, your best works, your best day are filthyrags before the Lord.
And you know why that is? You've never met God.
You compare your sin to others.
You need to compare your sin to God.
Let me tell you howholy, how awesome God is.
Even the most holy angels, the seraphim, who stand before the throne of God, dare not look at God, theycover they eyes with their wings and they cover their feetlest they stand in the temple.
They won't stand on theground because it's holy and they won't look atGod because he's holy.
And you think one day you'regonna stand before God and he's gonna be impressedwith what you did? This is the same God whospoke however many years ago and told the Earth to sitand spin and it still does.
I can't even get my dogto sit for a minute.
And then some of you, you feellike you're so far from God, you're so part from God, there's no way God could ever save you, God could ever redeem you.
I want you to know you're wrong.
I'm reading a book right now.
It's an incredible book.
It's written by a homosexual man who sold drugs, dropped out of med school, and went to prison as a federal criminal.
He was lying in bed in prison and he looked at the bunk above him and scratched into themetal frame of the bed said, “If you're bored, read Jeremiah 29:11.
” Boredom kinda goes withprison, so he read it.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I knowthe plans I have for you.
” Plans for a gay man who's HIV positive, who's just been sentenced tofederal prison for crimes.
“I know the plans I have for you.
“Plans for a future.
“Plans for good and not for evil.
” I want you to know thatthere was a cellmate who's HIV positivesitting on the bottom bunk who's now a professor at a seminary who wrote a book that's touching my soul.
I don't care where youare or what you've done, God can change your life.
– [Congregation] Amen.
– That's the power of Jesus.
(congregation applauds) “Instead, he beat onhis chest and he said, “'O God, be merciful tome, for I'm a sinner.
'” He said, “I tell you, thissinner, not the Pharisee, “returned home justified before God.
“For those who exaltthemselves will be humbled, “and those who humblethemselves will be exalted.
” I wanna change the way you relate to God.
Every single one of us, when we relate to God, we need to come to God with this in mind.
Write this down: I'm a sinner.
I'm a sinner.
Last week I preachedwith my wife on stage, which, husbands, that'salways a dangerous thing because you never knowwhat your wife's gonna say.
And so here's how it works, guys.
What you're gonna share, you've gotta get permissionfrom the wife to share.
Wives don't have to askpermission, they just share it.
(congregation laughs) So we're on stage and my wife just shares that we had sex before we got married.
Boom, my mom and dad are on the front row.
(congregation laughs) My kids go to church.
I'm like, “Hey, let's call grandma, “let's get them all here.
” (congregation laughs) It's embarrassing.
But it's true.
I'm a sinner.
I'm a sinner.
One of my friends came, brought his mom to church, and that's always dicey whenyou bring them to Sandals.
(congregation laughs) She told him she said, “Ithink the pastors shared “they had sex before they got married?” He's like, “Yeah, mom.
” She's like, “I don't thinkthey should share that “from stage.
” (congregation laughs) And you know why that is? Because we've made thechurch the one place on earth you can't tell the truth.
Ain't that sad? The church is the one placewhere you should tell the truth and nothing but thetruth so help you, God.
Amen? Why does the courthouseget to demand that? (congregation applauds) Why can't it be the church? I'm a sinner.
Underline this, “For everyone's sinned.
” That's you, that's Mother Teresa.
It's the person you're dating.
It's the person you're married to.
It's the boss you work for.
It's the person you'resitting next to in church.
“For everyone has sinned, “and we all fall short ofGod's glorious standard.
” You wanna know the truth? I can't even meet my ownstandards, much less God's.
The Enneagram is a personality assessment and it's one of the fewthings left in our culture that talks about sinoutside of the church.
Nine personality types that are beautiful.
You're created in the image of God.
God has blessed you withenormous talents, gifts, and you are marked by sin.
And it affects you invery, very different ways.
We all sin but we don'tall sin the same way, and so you know what we do? We make our sin less eviland everybody else's more.
So the nine personality styles is a way to understand yourself and understand the sinthat you struggle with, so we're gonna start off with the one.
'Cause the truth is you'rebetter than the rest of us.
It's just true.
Last service a woman shouted out, “Amen.
” (congregation laughs) “Amen.
“Preach it, pastor.
” The Reformers wanna makethe world a better place.
Some personality books on the Enneagram call you the perfectionist.
You've gotta get it right.
You know what the problem is? You can't.
You never can, no matter how hard you try.
You're never gonna be perfect.
And so the Reformer's core sin is anger.
And you're like, “That'srighteous anger, pastor.
” (congregation laughs) There's a guy in theBible whose name is James.
And in James chapter three, verse one, he says this.
“Human anger, ” and you can pray about whether or not you're human.
(congregation laughs) He says, “Human anger does not accomplish “the righteousness of God.
” You know what your anger is? It's like milk, you leaveit out, it goes rotten.
You know why I thinkJames writes about anger? Some of you don't know who James is.
James is the half-brother of Jesus.
Wouldn't that be lame? Can you imagine growing upwith him as your older brother? James, why can't you bemore like your brother? (congregation laughs) James, look at how Jesus makes the bed.
(congregation laughs) James, why don't you ask yourself, WWJD, what would Jesus do? Girls knock on the door, they're not there to see James.
They're there to see Jesus.
Can you imagine howhard that must've been, to have been James? To grow up with the Savior of the world? The Reformer's core sin is anger.
The two, the Helper.
Man, you mean well.
You wanna help.
You wanna make the world a better place.
Oftentimes you know the needs of others before they know it themselves.
But here's the problem: you'renot the savior, Jesus is.
And oftentimes you just trying to help actually makes it worse.
And here's your struggle, and let me say, if you're a two, I love you.
But you're the hardestperson's sin to identify because it's pride.
Here's the thing that's funny about pride.
Some of you are like, “Yeah, I don't struggle with pride.
” That's actually a prideful statement.
(congregation laughs) Pride is so hard to see.
That's why the devil struggles with pride.
His art is camouflage.
Ain't pride funny? Some of you, your pride willlead you straight to hell 'cause you don't think you're that bad and you don't think you need to be saved.
When I did that first Ironman, I only practiced swimming in the pool.
That was a mistake.
And so I did my first open water swim and that day a storm blew through Idaho, it was freezing cold.
They almost canceled the swim because the waves were so high.
But they met with the fire department and decided we're Ironmen, we can survive.
(congregation laughs) So they told us before therace, “If you're in distress, “all you have to do is raise your hand “and someone will come save you.
” But I'm not just an Ironman, I'm a man, which means I'm a fool.
And so I got about 200yards into this swim, five minutes into a 12-hour race, and I knew I was gonna die, I was done.
(congregation laughs) Butwould I raise my hand? No.
Admit that I need help? Never.
And so part of the rules of the Ironman is they have rescue boatsall over the places.
And by boats, they're really kayaks.
You swim to a kayak and here's the rule, the kayak can't drag you'cause that's cheating but you can hang on it, that's called living.
(congregation laughs) And so I swam over to the kayak, grabbed the boat, pulledmyself up, vomited on the boat, and I looked into the eyesof a 12-year-old girl scout who's serving volunteer hours (congregation laughs) and she has her life preservervest on and she says, “Do you need to be saved?” (congregation laughs) I kid you not, I'm not proud of this, I just let go of theboat and was like, “No.
” (congregation laughs) I would rather die thanbe saved by a girl scout! (congregation laughs) And that's how some of you are.
Jesus' like, “You wanna be saved?” You're like, “Nah, I'll go to hell.
” (congregation laughs) It's not that hot, I live in Riverside.
(congregation laughs) We have the three, theAchiever's core sin, it's lying.
You're so about success and what that means isyou're never about the truth.
Do you know why I was so botheredwith what my wife shared? It's not because she didn't tell me, it's because I care about what you think.
And here's the truth, sometimes I care more aboutwhat you think than God thinks 'cause I'm a three.
God already knows whatwe did and didn't do.
Why is it that I caremore about what you think than what God thinks? 'Cause I'm a three.
And let me tell you something, threes, here's what Jesus says.
Jesus says the truth comes out.
And let me just share this with you.
Judgment Day is an unfortunateday for that to come out.
Every day before Judgment Day, good day for the truth to come out.
Judgment Day, bad day! It's a bad day.
Jesus says the secrets thatyou forgot will come out.
Some of you are like, “Oh!” It's coming out.
The Achiever's core sin is lying.
The Bible says God hates lying.
Why does God hate lying? How many of you ever beenlied to, ain't that fun? It sucks, it's terrible.
Then we get the Individualist.
And just by definition, if you're a four, there are less fours inAmerica than any other number.
You are by definition the most unique and here's what's tragic about your sin.
Your sin is envy.
You're so focused on whatothers have that you don't, you fail to see what God has given you.
You know why envy's dangerous? Envy can make you do crazy things.
It's why I think people areso quick to tear people down on social media, because we'reenvious of their success.
We're jealous of their position.
Man, you know how many emails and texts I got this week about Kanye West? (congregation laughs) “What do you think, what do you think?” And the truth is a lot of people are just jealous of his success and they wanna tear him down.
But I want you to hear me.
It was envy that made people kill Jesus.
It's right there in the text.
In the Book of Mark itsays they were envious because of the crowds that followed Jesus and they said, “We've gotta kill him.
” How sad is that? Next we have the five, the Observer.
Look, God made you brilliant.
You're a genius.
You just understand the world in a different way from the rest of us.
But your core sin is greed.
Let me just share this.
What good is informationif you don't share it? You see, we think ofgreed as wanting more.
The actual sin of greed iswanting to keep what you have.
And so what the five doesis you withhold emotion, you withhold thoughts, you withhold affection.
You are not generous.
And Jesus says, “It is betterto give than to receive.
” And you're like, “Nah, well, I don't agree.
” And so you constantly live for yourself.
And listen to me, fives.
One day God's gonna hold you accountable for the brain he gave you, and if you only used it for yourself, he'll hold you accountable.
Then we have the sixth, the Loyalist.
Your core sin is fear.
Everybody always wants to be a six.
I just struggle with fear.
Because we feel like fearis the best of the sins.
Nobody wants to be angry, nobody wants to admit envy, nobody wants to be greedy.
And we haven't even gotten to lust.
You're like, “I just, I struggle with fear.
” Well, you know, Jesus tells a story about three individualsthat are given gifts.
One is given five talents, one is given two talents, and one is given one talent.
The one with five doubles the investment.
The one with two doubles the investment.
And the one with one buriedhis gift in the field.
And Jesus says, “Why did you do that?” You know what he says? “Because I was afraid.
” And Jesus takes what he has and gives it to the one with five and he takes the servant whodid nothing with their gift because they were afraid and he throws them intothe outer darkness, a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Fear is not a reason to not serve God.
Jesus says this.
“Only be afraid of the one who can kill “the soul and the body, and his name is God.
” That's it.
Fear'll make you do crazy things.
Lash out and hurt people.
Next we have the Enthusiast, right.
Whoo, yes, yes! Drank some coffee before you came in.
I love you, sevens.
But you know why bear comes in a six-pack and donuts come with 12.
Why stop at one? You wanna get everything out of life that life has to offer, here's the problem.
If you want to save your life, you must lose it, sevens.
You see, the way you say yes to Jesus is you say no to yourself.
And the world says, sevens, God would never give you a desire if he didn't want you to act on it, and that's because those people have never read the scriptures.
To be a Christian is towrestle against your desires, and to say yes to God oftentimes means saying no to yourself.
We've got the Challenger.
God made you strong, you're powerful, and your core sin is lust.
You're like, “Great, “I'm never going tocommunity group again.
” It doesn't mean sexual lust.
All of the types can struggle with sex, they just struggle withit for different reasons.
The eights struggle with lust.
Lust is a desire forthings that are not yours.
Eights struggle and want more power, more control, more position, more freedom.
You focus on gainingthings that are not yours rather than being accountable for what God's already given you.
And then we have the nine, the Peacemaker.
You're like, “How could a peacemaker sin?” Your core sin is laziness.
Do you know all evil needs to win is for good people to do nothing? You know, when Jesus Christ was tried and Pontius Pilate said, “Do you want me to killBarabbas or Jesus?” The crowd shouted, “Give us Barabbas, ” and the nines said nothing.
You see, there are twotypes of sin, nines.
There's the sin of commission, that means you committed it.
And there's the sin on omission, it means you knew what wasright and you ran from it.
And God will hold youaccountable for both.
Here's the thing you need to know.
Some of us, we just struggle with sin.
And by the way, ifsomebody doesn't believe they're a sinner, thenthey're calling God a liar.
1 John 1:10 says this, “Ifwe claim we have not sinned, “we are calling God a liarand showing that his word “has no place in our hearts.
” The world doesn't think sin is serious.
God thinks it's veryserious and here's why, write this down.
My sin separates me from God.
It separates me from God.
In the Bible, death doesn't mean the end, death means separation.
So when your loved one, yourhusband, your wife dies, they are separated from you.
In the Book of Revelation, there's a thing called the second death.
It's the second separation.
It's where sinners who havenot given their lives to Jesus are eternally separated from God forever.
Here's the thing.
You're gonna live forever somewhere.
With God, or apart from God.
And if you're a Christian, here's the good news.
Life right now is at the closest to hell you're ever gonna get.
If you're not a Christian, listen to me.
This is as close to heavenas you're ever gonna get.
And you need to make a decision today.
Romans 5:12 says this.
“You know the storythat Adam landed us in, “the dilemma we're in.
“First sin, then death, “and no one is exemptfrom either sin or death.
” Underline this.
“That sin disturbed relationships with God “in everything and everyone.
” Why is there disease? Why are little kids born with diseases? Sin.
Why is there divorce? Sin.
Why are people molested? Sin.
Why is there cancer? Sin.
Why are there typhoons? Sin.
That's what the Bible says.
Sin entered the world, itaffected all of us and everything.
And people today tend toblame one of two things.
They blame the devil, itwasn't me, or they blame God.
We should blame sin.
And I've prayed with so many people who've lost a loved one to cancer and they end up hating God and not sin.
God didn't kill your loved one.
That's what sin does.
It kills, it destroys.
The Bible says we have these desires, and when they give birth, they lead us into temptation, and temptation leads to action, and that action causes sin, and sin always brings death, regardless of what the world says.
Psalms 51, and I wanna encourage you read the whole psalm thisweek, I've edited it.
It's one of the mostpowerful psalms in the Bible.
And it's David who's justreally, really wrestling with who he is.
David's a king, he'sthe most powerful man.
David is described as a man who loves God with all of his heart.
And yet David comes to thevery reality of who he is.
He says, “I was born a sinner.
” Some of you, you hold your little infant, and you're like, “No way.
“There's no way this little, beautiful, perfect baby “could ever do anythingthat would hurt me.
” Give them time.
Man, you wait 'til that little perfect, innocent, cooing, cuddlingbaby is two years old and is demanding the deathof everyone in your family because they have not had enough crackers.
“I was born a sinner.
“Yes, from the momentmy mother conceived me.
” He says, “Create in mea clean heart, O God, “and renew a loyal spirit within me.
” I want you to circle that word, loyal.
Here's what sin is, ultimately.
It is rebellion against God.
And some of the smartest peopleon earth that are scientists are nothing more than rebels.
Rebelling against the God who made you.
Rebelling against the Godwho sent his Son to save you.
He says, “Create in me a loyal heart.
” You know why God says that? 'Cause we're not loyal.
Every single day, even as a Christian, when you wake up it's a struggle to say no to yourself soyou can say yes to Jesus.
He says, “Create in mea clean heart, O God, “and renew a loyal spirit within me.
” He says, “Don't banishme from your presence.
” That's hell.
You say, if God is soloving and God is so good, why is there evil in the world? Listen to me, God createdyou as a free moral being.
Even Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, there had to be an eviltree, do you know why? So they could choose.
And listen to me, just likeAdam and Eve had to choose, so do you.
So do you.
You have to choose.
You have to decide.
This is your soul, this is your life.
And I know everybody says, “Everybody's going to heaven “and all religions are the same, “all roads lead to the same place.
” And Jesus says, “No, they don't.
” Write this down.
Only Jesus Christ canmake me right with God.
1 Timothy 2:5, “For there is one God.
” How many gods? “There's only one God.
“And one mediator who canreconcile God and humanity, “and that's the man Jesus Christ.
” Do you know why Jesus is perfect for you? Because Jesus was fully man and fully God and he represents both perfectly.
Hebrews 9:14 says, “Christoffered himself to God “as a perfect sacrificeto take away our sins.
” Here's what the Bible says, listen to me.
“The wages of sin is death.
” So many of you are thinking, “I'm gonna stand before God, “and God's gonna weighall the good things I did “and he's gonna weigh all the bad, “and I'm hoping that thegood outweighs the bad.
” Here's what the Bible says, here's what you'veearned apart from Christ.
“The wages of sin is death.
” Eternal separation from the Holy God.
And here's the thing aboutJesus that's so amazing.
I was watching “Good MorningAmerica” this weekend, they were celebrating one ofour World War II veterans, and there's so few of them that are left.
He received multiple Medals of Honor because multiple times in the battlefield he threw himself on a grenadeto save his fellow soldiers.
And he's been interviewedmultiple times and he was asked, “Why did you throwyourself on the grenade?” And here's what he said.
“To save my buddies.
” That's pretty incredible.
But do you know Jesus didn'tthrow himself on a grenade to save his buddies? Here's what the Bible said.
Jesus died to save his enemies.
You're a rebel.
You're an enemy of God.
And Jesus died not to save his friends but he died so you could be his friend.
And it's very different.
Christ offered himself as aperfect sacrifice for our sins.
But here's the thing.
Luke 5:32, Jesus said, “I've come not to call thosewho think they're righteous.
” If you think you're good, listen to me, there's no hope for you.
There's no hope for you.
He said, “I've not come to call those “who think they are righteous.
” He said, “I've come to call those “who know they're sinnersand need to repent.
” Don't be like me.
You know you're drowning.
I would rather drown thanraise my hand to be saved.
Just raise your hand.
Just raise your hand.
Here's what Jesus wantsyou to do to be saved.
To be saved, you've gotta do two things.
Number one: I've gotta repent for my sin.
You guys, sin is serious business.
It's serious business, it's not a joke.
To repent is two actions.
To repent is to turn away from my sin and to turn to God.
It's saying I'm no longergonna live for myself I'm gonna live for God.
Jesus says it this way.
“If any man or woman would come after me, “let them first deny themselves, “pick up their cross, and follow me.
” That's what it means to repent.
About 26 years ago I was sitting right where you are sitting, living in a life of sin, and I knew I needed to be saved and I knew I needed a change in my life.
Listen to me, God won't make you change.
But if you raise yourhand, he'll help you.
He'll save you.
If your hand goes up, God's hand comes down.
Here's what the Bible says.
“Whoever calls upon the nameof the Lord shall be saved.
” That's what it means.
I've gotta repent of my sin and I've gotta believe in Jesus Christ.
You know why I've gotta believe in Jesus? Because when I standbefore God on Judgment Day, listen to me, my repentance is not enough.
It's not enough.
It's not enough to be sorry.
It's not enough to try to be righteous.
The only way I survive the Day of Judgment is because Jesus standswith me on Judgment Day.
And you know what he's gonna say? He's gonna say, “Father, Matt'srighteousness is not enough.
“Matt's effort is not enough.
” But he says, “Dad, “mine is.
“And I died so Mattdoesn't have to forever.
” You have two choices on Judgment Day: to stand on your ownor to stand with Jesus.
I strongly suggest, I beg you, I plead with you to choose Jesus.
To choose Jesus.
A couple of years ago, some friends of mine asked me to go out to lunch with theirrelative and he was scary.
He rode motorcycles, wore leather chaps.
I shop at Nordstrom Rack.
(congregation laughs) I have no tattoos.
He was covered in tattoos andhe had a teardrop on his eye.
And he said this, we were at Starbucks.
I don't think he'd everbeen to a Starbucks before.
He said, “Do you think I'm a sinner?” I wanted to say, “No.
” (congregation laughs) I said yes.
He said, “You think God would save me?” I said, “Absolutely.
” Listen to me, I led him toChrist that day in a Starbucks.
Don't clap, because he waskilled on his motorcycle six months later.
He's the toughest dude I've ever seen.
He barely fit in his casket.
I don't think he fit, I thinkthey shoved him in that thing.
Even the strongest men die.
I don't know how much time you have.
This may the last time Godgives you to get it right.
Make a choice today.
So I'm gonna ask you to do two things.
If you wanna repent of your sin and you wanna believe inJesus Christ in just a second, all I'm gonna ask you todo is raise your hand.
And then at the end of service, here's what I want you to do.
And I want you to come forward and I want you to signup for baptism next week.
And here's why.
Jesus said, “If you deny me before men, “I will deny you before my father.
” He wants you in frontof your friends, family, people that you work with, he wants you to invite them to church and he wants you to show themyou've repented of your sin and you've placed your faithand trust in Jesus Christ.
Baptism is like a marriage ceremony.
Don't miss next week, it is phenomenal.
Just like marriage doesn'tmake you love someone, baptism doesn't save you.
It simply declares that you love them.
In just a second I'm gonna askthe worship team to come out.
But I just wanna know.
No heads bowed, no eyes closed.
If you need to be saved, if youneed to repent of your sins, would you just raise your hand? Let's start over here, is there anybody here? Look, right here.
Anybody, clap for him, guys, come on.
(congregation applauds)Anybody, anybody? Over here? How about right here in the middle? Anybody, raise your hands.
Right here, right here.
In the back, I see your hands up there.
How about over here, anybody? Come on guys, cheer.
The Bible says, “Heaven is going nuts.
” Right here, right here, right over there.
Anybody back up over there? I see you guys.
Listen to me, I see you, guys.
(congregation applauds) Listen to me, man.
Heaven is going nuts right now.
Heaven is going nuts right now because Jesus died so you could live.
Jesus died so you could live.
And your life changes now.
I'm gonna pray for you right now.
So you raised your hand, the next step is to pray, and then I want you to comeforward at the end of service so we can get down your information and we can get you in a small group and we can get you baptized next week.
It's repent, believe, and be baptized.
That's the formula thatthe Book of Acts gives us.
Let's just pray, amen, church? Heavenly Father, we thank you for every person who raised their hand.
God, you know their hand, you know their life, you know their story.
And God, you sent their Sonto die for them on the cross.
Lord, I pray that theirrepentance is real, I pray that their faith is real.
And right now I ask thatfor Holy Spirit, Lord, would just come into their lives and change them and seal them.
Lord, empower them andgift them to follow you and trust you for the rest of their life.
I pray this in Jesus' name, amen.
God bless you, guys, I love ya.
– Here at Sandals Church, we really do believe that this vision of beingreal can change the world.
Because Sandals Church is a nonprofit that operates from donationsfrom people like you, because when you donate yourmoney goes to creating places for people to be real all over this world.
So man, I would love foryou to be a part of that, and you can make a donation today by clicking the link on thisvideo or going to donate.
So join us and join what God is doing through this vision of beingreal, and have a great day.
how do we only have mulberry and blush in the Cayman okay so I'm gonna get rid of these okay you want me to hold on to the cognac I'm just gonna do the mulberry in the blush okay seven four one four seven nine blush mulberry one of the
hottest hottest styles in fashion this summer is an espadrille sandal you have now an opportunity at the espadrille done but amped up because it's in Jambu and the colors are gorgeous this is a $70 sandal that is in retail and you can get it here for thirty four
ninety thirty for forty nine I think most of you are gonna buy both colors here's the mulberry I love this there's not another shoe in the show that looks like this mulberry and then this is the blush I'll take you on a quick tour you have that beautiful
stable bottom here is where you get into that espadrille fill with a little bit it's about an inch and a quarter of that elevated height across the back you have a padded heel pad that's all set up for you on the inside and then right here that hook
and loop closure that's super simple and check this out it has just a little bit of stretch and give in movement this is an awesome sandal 741 749 Becky isn't it good yeah do you see how flexi flex so normally those flat forms are big clodhoppers this is
light it's kind of a gummy soft step and it really feels good on the foot so instead of being clumpy like flat forms are this gives you the look but it's so much more soft on the foot stretchy gives you that memory foam that were crazy about but
I love the jute the white outsole that's just what screams of the season so this is not sale unlike shearling boots or snow tires I mean this is really the shoe for the moment I love the mulberry I know we don't have a whole lot so I shouldn't
be fawning over this mulberry but if you are watching early and you can get through grab the mulberry before it's gone oh I noticed somebody was able to snatch up the mulberry well I thought I need a little papasan some that's the thing I wear so many basic
colors I really do so look this is that again that blush grace have you been outside have you been tanning have been self-tanning your oh my gosh look how pretty that is I mean a really nice nude shoe sometimes white can be a little bit too stark I
like that that's that soft pretty hue the mulberry gives you a pop of colors if you were a lot of khaki shorts and kind of basics this is a fun way to do your personality color I love the style you know it's somewhat about this is it has
just a little bit of the espadrille yeah it's not it's not a full-on espadrille style it also makes a big difference when you go from a complete flat into just a little bit of a wedge like this exactly if you don't want to do heels this is only
what is this an inch and a quarter inch and a quarter yeah nice lift so think of your ear flip-flops you're right on the ground and you're hanging on for dear life because there's no strap this gives you a sandal like feel but we're secure I mean I'm
gonna walk a little bit and just show you listen there's no flap flap flap there's no toe post you know that's stabbing me in between my feet it's giving me this really nice stable secure step life this is giving you a soft step it's giving you that memory
foam and again with skirts think about it jeans capris Bermudas dress everything's gonna look pretty with that silhouette I know I always have to check I'm touching I'm feeling I'm swearing it's suede and then I look on the inside and I find out that it's completely vegan yep
because if you touch it like I want to show look at the reptile print there's almost this animal skin feeling and if I close my eyes and I run my hands over those I think it sneaks right it feels so genuine and that's another 100 almost suede it
look how pretty this is I can't get over the fact that this is $34 let me show this to so on the back you've got that little bit of goring this is important if you again have high arches on high instep on your foot if you swell when
you walk if you're thinking about going back into the theme parks you're on vacation you've got that sporty lifestyle where you don't want to stop and change your shoes throughout the day right this is a shoe that's gonna carry you all through the day I don't need to
worry about a fussy buckle all I do is that hook and loop closure slide it right on close it but no one knows it because it looks completely like a functioning buckle fussy buckle I think that's gonna be our band name Heather it's called happy careful how you
use it if that was how I got in and out I wouldn't get this sandal if I had to be like on say oh girl I'm like a three year old I want I and I want if these heels could light up I'd get those too but it's
jazzier it's ladylike so espadrille is that jute you know that's what you see for springtime if you saw this shoe for you know $69 at a warehouse store at a department store you'd say yep absolutely that's what shoes go for when you see them like all of that
styling the white outsole and this is that difference this is that see how flexi that's the difference so if some flat forms truly are flat they do not flex and guess what you sound like like a herd of elephants coming down the street right clock clock clock not
with this it's a very light soft step that white outsole is all the rage in fashion let's talk about that that's a globe it yeah I remember seeing it when it came on the scene it was very high-end designer that did it and I wasn't sure because it
was probably four inches all in the sneaker it was it was very remember bold and so what happens is if you're more of a classic dresser here's what the trick that we do we'll wait for it to pass and when it comes around and it's kind of sits
into our sweet spot that's when we act that's what this is so you get that high-end style but it's been refined it's got that little one and a quarter inch that we can all handle as far as sizing goes this is available in full sizes and half sizes
I did want to tell you unfortunately ladies we've sold out of a seven across the board in both colors grace is wearing the blush we have Becky who's wearing the mulberry if you want the mulberry we're now inside of 200 total units and remember full sizes and half
sizes so we're single digits and a majority of them in the mulberry but before we sell out I just want to show you it's almost that reptile snakeskin feel to the back on the mulberry you have that beautiful goring that's helping with stretch and comfort and movement and
ease again that hook and loop closure so you can slide right in you don't have to unbuckle anything across the bottom right here there's that jute that espadrille style and then the outsole and that athleisure bright white that we see so much inch-and-a-quarter elevation this is the mulberry
if you want the mulberry we now have about 170 total units of the mulberry here is the blush the blush plays like a gorgeous nude it's it's a topi blush I would say oh it's very soft it's just a kiss of blush good that's a good description just
a kiss of blush let me bring you onto our website because we've such a weight in the call center right now like if you picked up last hour this was from Fagan vine it's a really great little dress look how pretty the blush would tie back to I
would tell you to go online first of all process your Jambu orders online that's the best way to get through but also we have a sneaky little afternoon show for style HQ we started a little early today and there was some really good fashion finds the dress that
I have on right now is fig and vine it is done in blue and hot pink I'm actually looking over my shoulder there at the great style can you see I've taken quite a haircut since then I got back into the salon today and I cut three inches
off of there like a new woman pretty I realized throughout the years that I like short hair better on I like that right at the shoulder that's really feels like it feels good here's the top that grace has on this was from indigo thread company this is our
this day only look at how beautiful that openwork crochet detail is there's about 30 of you that can pick it up in the red and I wanted to show the color there there's red there's Navy in there sand because the shoe that we have on set in the
blush would work with any of those tops huh it is it's like a shapeshifter when you work with nudes like that you really get more like longevity more mileage out of that because it's gonna pair back and what's so nice too is that you may have different style
sensibilities jeonbu gets it this is outdoor inspired so if you're kind of high key by key taking the kids hiking and camping you love this but if you're a fashionista you see all the elements the white outsole the jute the beautiful reptilian design I love that we all
get to shop together comfort ystos fashionistas all of us I'm a budget too used to all of us kind of agree this is a really smart Buy it's an amazing shoe for the price that you're paying this is an amazing shoe for $69 right really I mean if
it was if it was out here right now it's $69 on value pay I would be thrilled about it I would be telling you it's a killer investment because you're going to get four or five six seven seasons out of this it's got such classic designs it's got
that jute design with a little bit of the espadrille fun summer color that blush is the quintessential neutral now because it's also done in vegan materials but you can just wipe it to keep it clean absolutely sometimes I'll grab a magic eraser around any of my sneakers or
white outsoles just to keep them nice and fresh and clean but it is jeonbu quality so I don't want you to think the price and I want that to fool you you are getting a nationwide brand that's been around for you know decade trying to really change the
way we feel about our feet with comfort and style five dollars and seventy five cents I want you to think about that price like five dollars and 75 cents is your value pay we are just hitting our stride for warm weather across the country right now if you're
looking for a fabulous sandal that is lightweight that is flexible that has cush that has comfort and has fashion this is the shoe that I think is one of the best buys of the entire shelf or you to get ready to move on there's blush or there's mulberry
741 479 the blushes just flat out more wearable the mulberry is a great little fashion