Lựa chọn trang phục cho buổi gặp gỡ đầu tiên của nam giới

Tôi đang mặc ngay bộ trang phục đầu tiên của mình đề nghị là trang phục bình thường tôi sẽ bắt đầu điều đó với một đôi đẹp và quần chinos mỏng, một chiếc áo phông không phải là kiểu áo thun lót không siêu cơ bản làm cho nó nhiều hơn một chút thú vị khi lấy chiếc áo thun này cho ví dụ nó không chơi màu trắng nó giống như màu sắc tự nhiên và có một chút cố gắng để nó làm cho nó một chút thú vị hơn. Để thêm phong cách và thoải mái hơn bạn nên lựa chọn cho mình một đôi giày lười nam cao cấp từ giaynamhuymanh.com và chỉ về tổng thể chất lượng cao hơn một chút áo thun đơn giản sau đó tôi đặt lên trên một chiếc áo khoác denim.

Mùa hè nóng lên, bạn có thể cởi nó ra và ném nó đi qua vai bạn thực sự tình cờ như bạn lắc lư với cô ấy và nói này cô gái những gì đang xảy ra như thế nào bạn đang làm và hoàn thành việc nhìn lên với những cú đá trắng đá trắng sạch tôi nghĩ đó là điều bình thường thật đơn giản, bạn có thể làm ở đâu như tôi đã nói nếu bạn chơi gôn mini với cô ấy hoặc nếu bạn đang học trung học ở nói chung tôi nghĩ nữ sinh trung học là có lẽ một chút họ sẽ gần như bị sốc nếu bạn xuất hiện trong một bộ đồ hoặc một cái gì đó nhưng nó không bị hạn chế tuổi đó bây giờ tôi 26 và nếu tôi đi chơi với một cô gái giống như một sự rung cảm.

Tôi có lẽ sẽ mặc một cái gì đó như đây là buổi hẹn hò đầu tiên trừ khi tôi đang dùng cô ấy ra ngoài cho một bữa tối thịnh soạn dẫn tôi đến bộ trang phục tiếp theo là cái này ở ngay đây và trung thực có lẽ là linh hoạt nhất trong số ba bộ trang phục đây là những gì tôi gọi bán trang trọng đó là một chiếc áo sơ mi oxford trắng không thể nói quá tình yêu của tôi dành cho oxford áo sơ mi bởi vì họ đi bộ giữa ưa thích và thủ công nên rất hàn và tôi có chiếc áo khoác Uniqlo này. Nếu vào mùa đông tôi sẽ lựa chọn một đôi giày cao cổ của giayhuymanh.com và lên trên nó giống như một chiếc áo khoác nó có một cái đẹp và màu sáng như bạn nhìn thấy lần đầu tiên. Tất nhiều màu sắc mùa hè tươi sáng và đẹp mắt điều này sẽ khác một chút nếu bạn đang hẹn hò vào buổi tối, hãy nói chuyện về điều đó chỉ trong một giây sau đó tôi đã đi với chiếc quần jean xanh đơn giản có chút bình thường hơn một chút và. Giữ đôi giày thể thao màu trắng tại Huymanhshop ngay từ cái nhìn đầu tiên nếu bạn muốn làm cho nó nhiều hơn một chút thanh lịch bạn có thể đi giày ăn mặc giản dị đó là một lựa chọn khác. Để đi điều này bạn đã sẵn sàng cho mọi thứ và mọi thứ bởi vì nếu bạn muốn bạn có thể cởi áo khoác ra một lần nữa và đó là cái nhìn đầu tiên tôi sẽ mặc một chiếc áo khoác bởi vì nó giúp nhanh chóng thay đổi trang phục – có thể rất khác nhau như chiếc áo khoác denim cởi ra rất bình thường và đây vẫn là loại trang phục bởi vì nó là một con bò trắng túi kiếm được nhiều hơn một chút thú vị và nó giống như tôi không biết .

Tôi cảm thấy tôi cảm thấy thoải mái và có thể đi ăn tối như thế này tôi có thể đi đến rạp chiếu phim như thế này trừ khi nó bất cứ điều gì với một tất nhiên bạn phải tuân thủ quy định về trang phục quy định về trang phục nhưng nếu không thì tôi đẹp tốt để đi nếu tôi mặc cái này tại đêm tôi có thể sẽ đi cho hải quân áo cộc tay hoặc áo cộc tay sẫm màu hơn hoặc bạn có thể đi với một bộ đồ nếu có dịp chúng ta hãy xem xét một bộ đồ tốt cho một buổi hẹn hò đầu tiên và ở đây chúng ta có nó, tôi nghĩ bộ đồ hải quân là một lựa chọn màu sắc tuyệt vời cho buổi hẹn hò đầu tiên, nó không phải màu đen mà là siêu chính thức và mọi thứ khác có thể có thể hơi giống màu xám bộ đồ có thể quá kinh doanh và tất cả các màu khác hãy tránh xa hải quân là thời trang và đơn giản nhưng tôi đã chọn mặc áo hai dây vú xỉn màu là một chút sự lựa chọn thú vị tôi nghĩ nếu bạn thích blazer hai ngực đi cho nó. Tôi sẽ mặc cái này nếu bạn muốn ở lại nhiều hơn ở khía cạnh an toàn hơn tôi sẽ đề nghị một hai nút duy nhất cho ngực nhưng một điều thú vị khác là bạn có thể đặt một bỏ túi hình vuông và nếu bạn cảm thấy như oh có lẽ điều đó có thể là quá nhiều đối với cô ấy hoặc nó chỉ không thực sự phù hợp với dịp này nó đi rồi .

Các bước để mặc đẹp trang phục công sở cho nam giới

Làm vượt trội ra đời của phái mạnh có những sợi chỉ ngang hông nhưng trưởng thành gợi ý phong thái giỏi nhưng không cần hét lên để được nhiệt tình. Bạn sẽ đòi hỏi áo khoác thể thao, áo khoác và áo vestáo sơ mi nam ăn mặc thắt lưng nam cao cấp từ thatlungnamhuymanh.com cùng quần kaki và quần chinos. Với các sản phẩm khác và tất nam,  tóc chải chuốt và những cái tiết chế.

Bước 1. Chọn áo khoác thể thao, áo khoác nỉ hoặc bộ vest với màu sắc dịu và xây dựng thương hiệu ngày nay. Kết hợp chiếc áo này sở hữu áo sơ mi hở cổ hoặc cà vạt. Hãy kiên cố rằng nam giới hiểu các quy tắc của khu chợ đối với trang phục giản dị. Ví dụ, các người tầm thường cấp cao thường ăn mặc sang trọng hơn, mặc dù nó vẫn sở hữu thể ko nên cà vạt.

Bước 2. Mặc áo sơ mi sở hữu cổ, cotton tinh khiết, chất lượng. Thay thế bằng các loại vải dệt kim khổ rẻ không sở hữu nếp nhăn và hạn chế những chất liệu vải bóng, mượt và màu sắc hoang dã và xây cất.

Bước 3. Mặc một chiến thắng áo len kiểu vẻ ngoài mà ko quá tinh tế, hoặc đổi mới diện mạo của 1 bộ vest sở hữu các thành phầm khác nhau trong áo sơ mi hoặc cà vạt phái mạnh mặc.

Bước 4. Thể thao sạch sẽ, quần chẽn ép, áo nhung, quần dài, và nhiều khi là quần chinos trong điều kiện khí hậu phù hợp. Tránh quần đùi, quần jean hoặc bất kỳ trang bị gì với mép rách hoặc chỉ treo. Sẽ ko sở hữu vấn đề gì trong số này ví như quý ông quên rằng “bình thường” ko bao gồm việc vệ sinh hoặc cách cư xử mất hiệu lực.

Bước 5. Mang giày da công sở tại giayhuymanh.com shop giày nam đẹp uy tín để làm tinh khiết và làm bóng, và tán thành. Giày đẹp chủ công tốt hơn bốt đi bộ đường dài hoặc bốt thể thao trừ khi văn phòng đầy các game thủ, những người ái mộ và đam mê. Để dép và dép xỏ ngón ở nhà.

Bước 6. Đi tất dễ chịu, tối màu, dài tới giữa bắp chân, kết hợp liên kết có quần của các chàng trai công sở, do vậy mà lúc phái mạnh ngồi hoặc bắt chéo chân sẽ ko lộ da. Các tác phẩm như argyle vẫn ổn giả dụ chúng ko đụng độ có sọc, kẻ sọc hoặc các phương pháp khác trong quần của các chàng trai công sở.

Bước 7. Cắt tỉa tóc để trông chải chuốt, ngay cả lúc nam giới thích kiểu đầu vấp ngã luống, chiếm hữu thể trông bè cánh với chủ đích có 1 loại bé nhỏ. Lông mặt đều ổn giả dụ được cắt tỉa, ngăn nắp và mang thể chấp nhận được trong ngành hoặc đối với Công ty. Bước 8. Tránh những sản phẩm kế bên đồng đại dương và nhẫn cưới. Bạn với biết một nghiên cứu gần đây cho thấy rằng, lần trước tiên trong xã hội Mỹ tiến bộ, nhiều quý ông kết duyên có thiếu phụ sở hữu trình độ học vấn và thu nhập vượt quá mức của họ.

Mặt hàng quần áo và phụ kiện thời trang bạn cần chuẩn bị cho mình

Mặt hàng quần áo và phụ kiện thời trang là điều bình thường mà nam giới thực sự thích gặp lại bạn sớm mà không có bất kỳ điều gì xa hơn trì hoãn, hãy bắt tay ngay vào nó trước trong danh sách là một trang phục công sở mang tính biểu tượng rằng phụ nữ luôn thích nhìn thấy đàn ông trong một chiếc quần jean vừa vặn bây giờ nhận thấy tôi nói rất phù hợp ngay cả khi bạn xưng hô tình cờ phù hợp vẫn là vua . Bạn chỉ không thể ném chìa khóa hay chiếc ví da cao cấp từ vinamhuymanh.com vào bất kỳ chiếc quần jean nào mà bạn mặc. Một chiếc quần jean mà bạn thích mặc một số không phải quá rộng nhưng trông không giống bạn mượn quần jean skintight bị thương thậm chí là bảng gian lận dễ dàng để đảm bảo bạn có phù hợp mỏng vừa vặn cho làn da gầy của tôi kẻ thẳng phù hợp với kích thước trung bình của tôi .Những chàng trai và thể thao phù hợp với thể thao của tôi hoặc những người lớn hơn như bạn có thể thấy với những quần jean tôi đang rung chuyển chúng vừa vặn những vẫn cần thêm một chiếc thắt lưng nam tốt từ thatlunghuymanh.com. Với tôi chúng không rộng nhưng cũng không skintight hoặc bạn muốn số một cặp quần âu nữ thích nhìn thấy chúng tôi lấy một đôi giếng tất nhiên là phù hợp với Jean bây giờ danh sách bạn sẽ có một cặp quần jean bạn cũng có thể có nó là số một đối tác trong tội phạm một sự phù hợp tuyệt vời áo thun và nhiều khả năng là các quý cô yêu bạn trong một thiếu niên đen và điều này cho một số lý do trong số đó là nó làm nổi bật một số cơ thể yêu thích các bộ phận rằng phụ nữ đang kiểm tra của bạn vai của bạn bắp tay của bạn ngực của bạn phụ nữ thích nhìn thấy thứ đó và trà đen đóng khung chúng rất tốt và giống như quần jean áo thun phải vừa vặn với bạn vài lĩnh vực cần chú ý đến bạn muốn tay áo rơi vào khoảng giữa bắp tay và ôm nhẹ cánh tay bạn muốn nó không thấp hơn giữa .

Mặt hàng quần áo và phụ kiện thời trang bạn cần chuẩn bị cho mình. Bạn muốn có thể véo một chút vải ở bên nếu bạn có những chìa khóa đó ba thành phần bạn có một sự phù hợp tuyệt vời áo thun và một món đồ bình thường của phụ nữ tất nhiên sẽ thích nhìn thấy bạn đá bây giờ nếu bạn định làm rung chuyển một chiếc áo phông điều đó sẽ lọt vào mắt của người phụ nữ mà bạn cần một phong cách phù hợp với bạn tuyệt vời và sẽ kéo dài theo thời gian và đó chỉ là những gì chúng tôi có từ chiếc áo phông mà tôi đang rung chuyển hôm nay cho các yếu tố cần thiết được tài trợ video của tôi bây giờ nếu bạn đang xem kênh này cho bất kỳ khoảng thời gian bạn biết những điều cần thiết tạo nên chiếc áo thun yêu thích tuyệt đối của tôi, nó là của tôi yêu thích vì một số lý do nó bắt đầu với vải được tạo thành nó là sự kết hợp tuyệt vời giữa tre và bông tre là một loại vải kháng khuẩn tự nhiên giúp chống lại mùi khi bạn mặc nó suốt cả ngày vì nó được làm từ sự pha trộn tuyệt vời của tre và bông nó giữ lại sau nhiều lần .

Xem ngay bây giờ các yếu tố cần thiết về quảng cáo đã gửi cho tôi một thương hiệu mới áo phông nhưng tôi quyết định mặc cái này rằng tôi đã thắng hàng chục và hàng chục lần và nhiều như vậy chỉ cho bạn thấy nó hoạt động tốt như thế nào như bạn có thể thấy giữ lại hầu hết màu sắc này nó hầu như không bị thu hẹp nó vẫn vừa với tôi tuyệt vời và vì điều đó giúp tôi chỗ ngồi yêu thích tuyệt đối và nó có lẽ là tại sao những thứ cần thiết lại bán hết trong lần đầu tiên hai ngày sau mỗi lần giảm đó là lý do tại sao bạn cần nhấn vào liên kết trong mô tả để đảm bảo rằng bạn nhận được lần đầu tiên cho những thứ cần thiết sắp tới sẽ giảm. Cách chúng ta áo thun nói chuyện chúng ta đang nói chuyện quần chinos polos hindley tất cả chất lượng cao những điều cơ bản về nhu cầu của con người trong tủ quần áo của mình và như một phần thưởng bổ sung cho mọi mặt hàng bạn mua từ những thứ cần thiết ở đó ném vào mặt nạ nhấn vào liên kết đó trong mô tả và đăng ký quà tặng đầu tiên là vì thứ này sẽ bán hết sau một vài ngày như tất cả và như một tiền thưởng cần thiết đã cung cấp phong cách với chiết khấu của riêng họ kiểm tra để nhận được một số tuyệt vời tiết kiệm cho những thứ tuyệt vời này binh thương vì vậy hãy đảm bảo rằng bạn đã sẵn sàng .

Để có được chiếc áo thun tốt nhất trên thị trường và một loạt các tác phẩm bình thường tuyệt vời từ những yếu tố cần thiết bây giờ tiếp theo trong danh sách 10 những thứ bình thường chúng tôi mặc mà các quý cô tình yêu là mặt hàng có rất nhiều đặc điểm tương tự như áo thun. Đối với giày bạn nên sở hữu những đôi giày tây chính hãng từ giayhuymanh.com đó là cách quan trọng để mặc đẹp. nhưng đó là một bước tiến về phong cách mà tôi đang nói về có lẽ đó là các nút tạo ra nó có vẻ như bạn sẽ đặt nhiều hơn một chút nỗ lực vào những gì bạn đang mặc sau đó người chiến thắng chiếc áo phông thông thường của bạn và một tác phẩm mà các quý cô thích xem trung thực trong một môi trường bình thường chắc chắn chọn một hoặc hai Henley và như một lưu ý phụ cho 20 phụ nữ bây giờ xem kênh này vâng chúng tôi thực sự lên đến 20 cho tôi biết trong phần bình luận phần tôi đang làm như thế nào tôi đang đánh một mục tiêu hoặc tôi đã để lại một số bình thường .Những mặt hàng quần áo chúng tôi yêu thích mà bạn yêu thích danh sách tiếp theo trong danh sách là một phần của giày và dép và đôi giày thể thao cho nam từ Huymanhshop bạn cần phải mặc nếu bạn muốn bắt mắt của phụ nữ họ yêu chúng tôi trong một cấu hình thấp tuyệt vời giày thể thao tối thiểu bây giờ đây là thứ tôi một người yêu Jordan nhưng tôi vẫn đeo nó đó là các phụ nữ có xu hướng không thích họ như nhiều như chúng tôi làm nhưng họ hiểu

Quần áo nam cơ bản những vẫn tạo nên sức hút tuyệt vời

Áo sơ mi thực sự tuyệt vời vì vậy đối với màu sắc bạn muốn màu trắng, tôi cảm thấy thích mọi người đàn ông cần phải có một tốt đẹp áo sơ mi thông minh cài nút như thế này màu trắng là hoàn hảo một màu xanh nhạt áo sơ mi cài cúc cũng rất tuyệt khi có trong tủ của bạn cái này có sọc nhưng rất nhẹ như sau đó tấn công bạn không thể thực sự nói đó là một sọc.

Cái áo sơ mi cài cúc màu xanh nhạt cái này tuyệt vời và bạn cũng muốn có một nút xuống áo sơ mi màu đen bây giờ tất nhiên có bây giờ cũng có áo sơ mi dài tay cài cúc nếu bạn muốn có tủ quần áo tối giản hơn những điều cần thiết như video này về bạn muốn một màu đen và trắng và cho một màu bật lên trong tủ quần áo của bạn và đẹp màu xanh ô liu như thế này thực sự là tuyệt vời như tôi đã nói luôn giới thiệu màu trung tính nếu bạn muốn tủ quần áo tối thiểu để điều này thực sự tuyệt vời màu sắc hoàn hảo cho ngay cả khi mùa thu của bạn season crewnecks dự trữ một số thực sự áo len cổ lọ chất lượng cao tốt hoàn hảo cho tủ quần áo của bạn, cá nhân tôi mặc rất nhiều thứ này trong suốt đặc biệt là ngay bây giờ trong mùa thu sẽ không nói dối tôi không mặc những thứ này trong mùa hè nhưng thực sự tuyệt vời cho ngay bây giờ cho mùa thu đông xuân và đây là những ví dụ hoàn hảo về thuyền viên áo len mà tôi yêu thích nhất mà tôi có bốn chiếc áo len cổ lọ nên bạn muốn có một chiếc trong màu xanh nước biển họ có thực sự tuyệt vời áo len nhưng cái này là hoàn hảo ví dụ như tôi đã nói chỉ là một bây giờ tôi giới thiệu cái này cũng màu đen và lý do tôi cảm thấy thích video này là hữu ích và hữu ích là vì với tuyệt vời như tủ quần áo tối thiểu với những thứ cần thiết như thế này bạn chỉ có thể nghĩa đen là bạn có thể mặc cái này với quần jeans mà tôi sẽ cho các bạn xem trong quần kaki nhỏ chỉ bạn có thể làm rất nhiều với tất cả những điều này bạn biết vì vậy đối với áo len cổ lọ bạn cũng muốn một màu xám nhạt bạn thậm chí có thể làm tối màu xám như cây thạch nam màu xám đó tôi có một ví dụ ở đây thực sự giống như một xám đậm trộn với như xanh hải quân đó là một trong những thông báo yêu thích của tôi mà tôi có cái này cũng là một cái tuyệt vời để có một màu xanh ô liu khác như thuyền buồm chiếc áo len này rất tuyệt ngay cả lúc này cho mùa thu đây là một hoàn hảo.

Áo len mỉa mai tạ ơn cũng vậy và tiếp theo yêu thích cá nhân của tôi mà tôi không thể có được đủ các áo nỉ nam này hoặc zip lên áo hoodie bạn có thể làm đồ họa bạn có thể thích hoodies đơn giản áo hoodie mà tôi sẽ cho các bạn xem ngay bây giờ tôi có một vấn đề thực sự như Tôi có quá nhiều áo hoodie và màu đen áo hoodie rắn có thể giúp bạn thực sự tiến xa các điều khoản giống như trang phục thực sự đẹp áo hoodie đen đặc như thế này là thực sự là một mà bạn không cần chỉ ném cái đó ra đó nhưng chỉ cần một chiếc áo hoodie đen tốt sẽ làm được thực sự thoải mái.

Tôi cũng giới thiệu một chiếc áo hoodie trong sáng xám hoặc xám đen như thế này đó không phải là màu xám đậm, điều đó tốt đây là một màu xám đen thực sự tuyệt vời mà bạn biết là nếu một chiếc áo hoodie thực sự đã cởi bỏ mọi thứ ngay tại đây. Nếu cần điểm nhấn cho trang phục hãy thử một đôi giày nam slip on trẻ trung của giayhuymanh.com tôi không biết tại sao nó lại làm như vậy. hoặc bạn cũng có thể làm một màu xanh ô liu khác màu như thế này hoặc nếu bạn thích nhiều hơn thích màu sắc của Burgundy như vậy bạn có thể cũng làm điều đó nhưng đây chỉ là một ví dụ đây thực sự là từ tiếp theo sẽ có áo hoodie quá khổ. Tôi xin giới thiệu về các sản phẩm cực đẹp để bạn mix đồ đó là đôi giày da từ giayhuymanh.com thương hiệu giày nam đẹp. Quần jean bạn chỉ cần trung thực ba cặp Quần jean cho tủ quần áo của bạn, đó là tất cả những gì bạn thực sự cần tôi sẽ chia nhỏ nó cho bạn guys những gì bạn nên rửa hoặc những gì bạn nên nhắm đến vì vậy trước hết bạn cần bóng tối như nửa đêm như hải quân đen tối màu xanh thực sự tuyệt vời để có cho bạn tủ quần áo và với quần jean như bạn rõ ràng chỉ có thể mặc cùng một chiếc quần jean suốt cả tuần đó là lý do tại sao tôi chỉ giới thiệu như ba thậm chí như hai nếu các bạn muốn, bạn có thể làm hai cặp quần jean và mặc chúng suốt tuần mọi người không nhận ra hoặc không thể nói điều đó bạn đang mặc cùng một chiếc quần jean và sử dụng chiếc thắt lưng Fendi của Thatlungnamhuymanh tôi làm điều đó mọi lúc tôi mặc giống nhau quần jean nhiều lần mà bạn không biết trước khi giặt nếu chúng không quá bẩn bạn có thể làm điều tương tự như bạn không thực sự cần số lượng vô tận và quần jean chỉ là nước rửa mà tôi chỉ cho bạn các bạn hôm nay là những điều cần thiết mà bạn thực sự cần bạn cũng muốn đi cho một quần jean wash nhẹ đây là một ví dụ ngay đây ví dụ hoàn hảo về một giặt nhẹ quần jean chất lượng tốt bây giờ tôi thực sự cầu kỳ với quần jean như chỉ có một số thương hiệu được chọn mà tôi mà tôi mặc có lẽ tôi nên làm một chiếc quần jean video như video Jean chất lượng tốt let tôi biết nếu các bạn muốn xem và cuối cùng cho một chiếc quần jean rắn màu đen chỉ giặt một chiếc quần jean đen tốt là một điều cần thiết cho tủ quần áo của bạn cảm thấy như tôi đang mặc quần jean đen.

Cách cải thiện bất kể trang phục nào mà bạn đang sở hữu

Tôi đã đi giày nam thể thao từ thương hiệu thời trang đồ nam Huymanhshop nhưng vẫn chúng tôi muốn làm sạch nó và giữ nó cùng nhau chúng ta vẫn có những tiêu chuẩn cao cho chất lượng phù hợp, v.v. Nhưng vì một những người bình thường thực sự quan tâm đến sự đơn giản đôi khi các lựa chọn của chúng tôi có thể thực sự cơ bản nên trong video này, tôi tập trung vào bốn cách để diện bất kỳ trang phục cơ bản nào và cho nó một chút tinh tế mà không đi chào mừng bạn trở lại kênh của tôi lần đầu tiên bạn đến đây là có trên boong không và bạn đã theo dõi phong cách loạt bài của tôi trên boong mà chúng ta đã nói về thời trang nam và chải chuốt lịch sự phong cách rõ ràng và một nửa còn lại của tôi kênh dành riêng để giúp bạn tạo nội dung tốt hơn để thành công hơn trên mạng xã hội và chỉ xây dựng thương hiệu cho chính bạn kỹ thuật số theo cách tốt hơn.

Cách cải thiện bất kể trang phục nào mà bạn đang sở hữu. Vì vậy hãy nghĩ đến bạn kênh này giống như một kênh 360 tư vấn hình ảnh tổng thể để nếu điều đó nghe tốt cho bạn nhấn đăng ký đó nút. Tôi yêu bạn tham gia vào gia đình và bạn đã phục vụ nhấn tab biểu tượng Chuông bạn nhận được một thông báo mỗi khi tôi thả video trước hết bạn phải đảm bảo rằng phù hợp của bạn là đúng và không có khó khăn và quy tắc nhanh ở đây tuy nhiên tỷ lệ đẹp từ đầu đến chân nên nếu bạn có một cái gì đó trông lỏng lẻo hơn đó là một chút thoải mái hơn và bạn muốn phần trên cùng và phần dưới cùng khớp với điều đó và sau đó. Ngược lại khi đến với một cái gì đó mỏng hơn một chút có thể sắp xếp hợp lý hơn một chút như kiểu dáng giày bốt chelsea boots của hãng giày nam đẹp Giayhuymanh hay gì đó như thế bạn muốn giữ nó nói chung được sắp xếp hợp lý và chặt chẽ. Khi nói đến khởi động bạn không muốn để phá vỡ giữa ủng và giày tôi không nên nhìn thấy ở mắt cá chân tôi không nên xem cái vớ nào mà ống quần của bạn nên đi tất cả các con đường xuống trên khởi động của bạn mọi lúc mọi nơi với một chiếc ống quần bất cứ điều gì bạn muốn nó có lẽ nên kết hợp chiếc giày với tôi đang làm ấm anh chàng khởi động mang đôi ủng mỏng hơn nên của tôi quần khá ôm vào chân tôi và sắp xếp hợp lý tất cả các con đường xuống trên khởi động của tôi nhưng không có khoảng cách được và nếu bạn đi cùng quần rộng nói chung bạn muốn cắt một trong những ngắn hơn một chút và có một chút khoảng cách giữa bạn và quần của bạn nó không làm cho chân của bạn trông quá mập vì vậy đó là hai điều không thực sự an toàn chú ý đến nhưng khác hơn thế nữa chỉ cần đảm bảo tỷ lệ của trên và dưới là khoảng cùng. Một cách khác để nâng chiều cao và cho thêm một chút nước sốt cho một mặt phẳng cơ bản trang phục là chọn một đôi giày đế cao nam từ giayhuymanh.com với nó bạn có thể đi từ một cái gì đó tinh tế hơn một chút nhưng linh hoạt. Khỏe mạnh và nói về sự lựa chọn giày của tôi, tôi đã đặt nó trên một video gần đây, tôi đã đưa ra về đôi giày mùa xuân bạn cần nếu bạn chưa có nhìn thấy nó tôi có một chút khởi động xe hơi ngay tại đây nhưng đây là Air Max của tôi plusses giấy tối đa điểm cộng thực sự và họ đang ở một ngọn lửa màu điên cuồng và ngay bây giờ bạn cảm thấy về chúng nhưng toàn bộ vấn đề là tôi đã làm rung chuyển các khớp này theo nghĩa đen mỗi ngày giống như tháng trước vợ tôi mệt mỏi nhìn thấy họ nhưng tôi không nghĩ bạn là tất cả lần khác tôi mặc chúng tôi nhận được một khen ngợi như bạn lấy những thứ đó ở đâu từ đó là những người lính cứu hỏa và tôi yêu có được cảm giác đó bạn cảm thấy tôi vì vậy bạn muốn chọn một đôi giày mang lại cho bạn điều đó phản ứng đó là gì nhưng như thế nào trong một cách tốt tiếp theo trong danh sách này là đồ trang sức. Nếu bạn thích các mẫu ví da nam cầm tay đẹp hãy thử đặt mua tại vinamhuymanh.com nơi đây có rất nhiều sản phẩm ví da nam cao cấp . Có thể có rất nhiều vui vẻ với trang phục của họ có màu sắc họ có thể trang điểm làm tóc những cách điên rồ nhưng đối với chúng tôi, chúng tôi chỉ có một số những nơi chúng ta thực sự có thể vui chơi và trang sức thực sự là cơ hội của chúng tôi để thực sự ra khỏi đó và thể hiện bản thân bạn muốn đi xem bạn thích ở ít nhất tôi sẽ đeo một chiếc đồng hồ hoặc thích một chiếc vòng tay nhưng bạn muốn giữ nó khá đơn giản trong phạm vi hiện hữu biểu cảm nhưng không quá lòe loẹt và theo cách của tôi làm điều đó như bạn biết là siêu của tôi set.

Tôi không thực sự đeo dây chuyền cả nhưng tôi có những chiếc vòng tay này từ có khoảng năm xếp chồng ngay tại đây ở ngón giữa này đeo nhẫn cho vợ tôi cô ấy thực sự đã thiết kế cái này ở đây và sau đó ba vòng mà tôi xếp chồng lên nhau từ ASOS họ giống như những chiếc nhẫn nhỏ rẻ tiền

The Kind of Love You Need | Sandals Church

– My non-negotiables wereyou have to be at church and you have to know Jesus, you have to be able to love dogs as well.

– There were things that Ididn't care as much about, because, hey, he's cute.

(upbeat music) – So they have to like want a family or at least want one or two kids.

– Honestly, if they'rea Dallas Cowboys fan, it's just not gonna work.

No, in all reality, the good question just in looking at thislist is, am I this? Do I have good community? Am I invested in a local church? Am I making financial wise decisions? Am I rooted in Christ? (upbeat music) – Good morning Sandals Church.

(congregation clapping) Good morning.

Thank you to all those families who are helping grow Sandals Church.

Yeah, man, it's fun to, it'sfun to grow your family.

It's hard to raise a family, amen? Had to be really carefulwhat I was gonna say there.

(congregation laughing) Hey, we're in a seriescalled “Non-negotiables”, it's a series about love.

Look, if you're a young person, lemme ask you a question, do you have a list? Do you have a list ofwhat's non-negotiable? Have you ever sat down andsaid, “What am I willing “to accept when it comes to love? “What am I not willing to accept?” What is something that ifa guy says this, I go no, absolutely not? What if, guys, and know guys have a list, it's just, she's hot, that's it.

Then everything else isa big blur after that, you need to have a list.

Listen to me guys, the devil's beautiful, and you might marry her.

(congregation laughing) Same is true for you gals.

Look, if you're single, you haven't screwed upyet, you don't have to.

If you're divorced, youdon't have to do it again, you can learn, right? You can learn.

God has a list of non-negotiables, and in this series it's aboutfinding the love you need.

You know what most of our problems is? Is we're looking for the love we want.

And we're not lookingfor the love we need.

God knows what you wantand He knows what you need.

And He's gonna teach you tolook after a kind of love that you need, so that youcan have the life you want.

This is the firstnon-negotiable in this series.

I think every one's gonna blow your mind.

I'm guessing this isn't on anyone's list, but you're wrong, God's right, this is the most importantquality when it comes to love, and this needs to be on everybody's list.

Write it down, I needa love that can listen.

Married people, you ever felt unheard? You ever felt unheard? Come on, ladies, it can't justbe a guy given me an amen.

(congregation laughing) You ever felt unheard, ladies? You ever felt ignored? You ever felt missed? You know why that is? We don't teach our men to listen.

– [Congregant] Amen.

(congregation laughing) – Ladies, you're not muchbetter, but you are better.

We need a love that can listen.

Proverbs 31 is a chapter on love.

A lot of you women have beentold the Bible's written by men, it's all about men, it's trying to maintaina patriarchal society.

Listen, a lot of theBible is written by men.

This chapter is written bya woman, how do you know? She tells us.

Listen, my son, listen, son of my womb.

Contrary to current thinking, men don't have wombs.

(congregation laughing) Just women have wombs, justwomen give birth to kids.

Lemme tell you something, women have a deeper connection with their children, becausethey grow inside them and they are connected to them.

When my wife and I go on vacation, day three, she wants to talk to our kids.

Listen to me, day three, I forgot we have kids.

(congregation laughing) She says, “Do you wanna talk to your son?” I'm like, “No, that'swhy we're on vacation.

” (congregation laughing) She wants to check in, she loves them, she cares for them.

She says, “Listen my son, listen my son.

” Why does she say it twice? Is any woman in here raising a boy? They don't even hear thefirst time, amen moms? This is how it sounds in the Hebrew, (speaks in foreign language), and it's actually, “What, son, what?” Which means listen, before I make you listen.

Listen, my son, listen my son, son of my womb, listen my son.

Ah, this is so sweet, the answer to my prayers.

Isn't it amazing howmothers love their sons? I have to remind my wife, “Hey, I'm number one.

“Hey, hey.

” They love their boys.

Don't spend your strength on women, why? Women understand women.

Listen to me, guys, yougotta listen to women, 'cause they can sniff outthe devil before you can.

They know, I don't like her.

You're like, “Why?” I just know.

(congregation laughing) Do not spend your strength on women, nor your vigor on thosewho, circle this word, ruin kings.

I don't care how talented you are, or how talented you think you are, or how much your mama loves you, your love life can screw up your life.

And it happens all over the world today.

People following theirhearts invite destruction.

I need a love that can listen.

We talked about last week, and if you missed last week, go back to it and I explain these Greek words more thoroughly, but the Greeks had four ideas for love.

Many languages and manycultures have different words for love.

In English, we got one word, I love you, I love pizza.

And sometimes you findout they love pizza more than they loved you.

But the Greeks had four words for love and the first word is eros.

Eros is a romantic sexual love, and here's the problem with eros, you need a love that can listen, eros doesn't listen to anyone.

It is blind, right? You ever heard that, love is blind? It's also deaf, it doesn't listen, it doesn't listen, it is so powerful, it is so strong, andmany people fall in love with a person they findout they don't like.

And you say stupid things, “We have so much in common.

” Like what? We like vacation.

We like walks on the beach.

We like sips of wine.

Who doesn't? So do serial killers.

Right? And we just say stupid things.

Love makes you blind when it's eros, it literally lowers your IQ, whatever it is, it drops.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– And you just like, “I love you.

” It doesn't listen, itdoesn't listen to friends, it doesn't listen to family.

It doesn't listen to God.

We're in love, we're gonna get married.

You don't even have a job.

We're gonna live on love.

(congregation laughing) Okay, that's gonna last eight minutes.

Then what are you gonna do? Listen, if you're a young person, you can learn nothing fromsomeone who's fallen in love, but you can learn a lot fromsomeone who's stayed in love.

You can learn nothing fromyour friends on Facebook, find an old couple in our church that can barely walk, butthey've been together, that's love, that's love.

You see, real love outlasts eros.

It does.

This week, or excuse me, last weekend was Valentine's weekend, my grandmother went andmet with my grandfather.

They don't live together anymore.

He doesn't know who she is, he doesn't know who I am, but she went to him on Valentine's Day and I have a pictureof them holding hands, and he's smiling.

They've been married 75 years, they know what love is.

Eros is long gone, butlove is still alive, love is still alive.

Listen to me, young people, that's what you want.

That's a love story.

Storge love, right? It's powerful, it's strong, it's what the mother has for her son.

Listen, my son, listen to my son.

Listen, son of my womb, son of my prayers, storge love listens to parents and family.

You gotta learn to listento your family members, you gotta learn to listen to your dad, you gotta learn to listen to your mom.

Listen to me, one of thereasons I am doing this series is 'cause I have two daughterswho are ready to date and get married.

And listen to me, guys, I'mconcerned, not about them.

(congregation laughing) I'm concerned about you guys.

And I told my daughters, you cannot date a guy unless he asks me.

You gotta see theseguys, (fearful moaning).

I'm like, “You're notasking me to marry you, “you're just asking to takemy daughter out on a date.

” They're terrified.

And I told my daughters, “If he can't face me, “he can't lead you.

” And listen to me, ladies, ifhe is not a husband category, why are you dating him, whyare you wasting your time? Some of you need to dump that chump, amen? (congregation laughing) I mean, not now in service.

(congregation laughing) There's Phileo love.

Phileo love is friendship, right? These are your friends.

If you start datingsomebody, and they tell you that you can't have any friends, that's a jealous love, that's a dangerous love.

Phileo love listens to friends.

Hey, man, I'm concerned.

Hey, man, I'm worried.

But agape love, agape love listens to God.

There's a higher love, there's a different love, it's stronger than eros, itlasts longer then storge, and it's deeper thanphileo, it listens to God.

Here's why listening is a non-negotiable, love must listen because love is learned.

You don't fall in love, you learn how to love.

This is why nobody stays in love.

This is why we're allfascinated with “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette”, which is the, just the worst idea ever.

When they fight about who'shere for the right reasons? I'm here for the right reasons.

I don't think she's here for the, I don't think anyone ishere for the right reasons.

(congregation laughing) Love must listen because love is learned.

Proverbs 26, many claims, underline that, many, many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? Why do we let Hollywoodtell us what love is? They're not good at it.

They're not good at it.

Tammy and I went to a movie this week, I told her, I said, “I'm fairlycertain Hollywood hates us.

” You notice how theytake a beautiful movie, it's wonderful, it couldhave an incredible ending and they want you to leave miserable.

What's wrong with them? Maybe they don't know about love.

The Book of Proverbs says many claim to have an unfailing love, oh, but a faithful person who can find? Do you know what that means? True love is faithful, true love lasts, true love goes to a nursing home when your husband doesn'teven know who you are.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– That's true love.

The Book of Proverbs has 31 chapters, 36 times it mentions love.

This is how the Book of Proverbs begins, it ended with a mother talking to her son, it begins in chapter onewith a father talking to his son.

It begins this way, “Oh, my son, listen to me, “listen to me, don't hate my correction.

“Don't forsake your mother's instruction.

” And it ends in Proverbs 31 with, “Oh, son, “son of my womb, son ofmy prayers, listen to me.

” You see, some of you are fooled and you think love is for the young only.

Listen to me, it's the old and experienced who know what love is, andthat's who you need to listen to.

Love must listen because love is learned.

And we're told, “Oh, you'll know when you know.

” “Oh, you'll just fall into love.

” No, you're gonna fall in a hole, that's what you're gonna fall in.

Love must listen because love is learned, write this down, love must be taught.

You gotta teach people howto love, you gotta show 'em.

You gotta instruct 'em.

That's why it's so important, we just did a family dedication, you need to bring your kids here so we can teach them how to love.

And they need to learnhow to love from God.

Because God is love, and the Bible says this is what love is, it's not that you loved, it's that God loved us andHe shared that with us.

Love must be taught.

Titus 2:4, these older women, and you can pray about itif this is you, ladies, I'm not gonna point it out, but I'm gonna say ifyou ask, “Is that me?” It probably is.

Like if you question it, it's you.

(congregation laughing) these older women musttrain the younger women, ooh, this is interesting, older women must train the younger women to love their husbands.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– And if you question that, ladies, it's because you're single.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– You will love the guyuntil you marry him.

And then you'll be like, “Things need to change.

” (congregation laughing) The older women musttrain the younger women to love their husbands, and their children, what? You know why? You don't have 'em.

There's a reason God makes children cute, so we don't kill them.

(congregation laughing) Tammy and I went out on a date, no kids, it's wonderful, it's wonderful, no kids.

And there's a couple, they met together and they got their kid andtheir child has just learned it has a voice.

All through dinner it'sdoing this, 'Ah, ah.

” And that's cute twice.

And then the third timeyou're like, “Slay the child.

” (congregation laughing) Their whole dinner, the kidis like a dolphin, screaming.

It's summoning whalesin the Pacific Ocean.

It's horrible, they can't even eat.

It's going to shatter glass.

Listen to me, if you havechildren under five, I love you, but you're on the threshold of hell.

(congregation laughing) Every single day is a battle.

If you're here at church, praise God, you survived.

It's true, isn't it, parents? Every single day you pleadwith your children not to try to die, that'stheir mission every day.

(congregation laughing) I must die today, father.

And parents have to commit together to try to prevent their death, and they're mad at you when you intervene.

Right, they try to puttheir finger in the socket, and you say, “No, ” and they're like, “Oh, you're a terrible parent.

” (congregation laughing) And there's part of youthat's like, “Well, try it.

” (congregation laughing) These older women musttrain the younger women to love their husbands.

You know what, love is hard.

Love is challenging.

I don't even like beingwith myself all day, much less another person.

You get married and you're like, “Wow, you're gonna be around.

” (congregation laughing) I mean, when you have siblings, sometimes you get your own rooms.

In marriage, that's not true.

Tammy and I share a room.

She has her closet, and we have mine.

(congregation laughing) I'm always having to make roomfor her stuff in my closet.

(congregation laughing) The builders should changeit, it's not his and hers, it's hers and theirs.

The older women musttrain the younger women to love their husbands and their children.

Some of you, you don't evenrealize why you go to church.

Some of you didn't evenwanna go to church today, but you're here.

Here's why you need to go to church, because you need to learn how to love.

And the world won't teach you, the world will not teach you, the world will teach youwhat you want to hear, they will not teach youwhat you need to hear.

Here's what Paul says to ayoung pastor named Timothy, he says, “The purpose of my instruction.

” This guy wrote half ofthe Christian Bible, he wrote half.

He's way smarter than you, he's probably thesmartest Christian, ever.

You say, “Why do youknow that, Pastor Matt?” Because God asked him towrite half the New Testament, and He didn't ask you.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– He says the purpose of my instruction, this is the guy who wrotehalf your Christian Bible, here's why he's writing, here'swhy he writes these letters, here's why he has theseteachings, these sayings, here's why he wants us to meet, to gather, to be in community group, to worship, here's the point, the purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled.

I want you to circle that word.

Do you know why you need to be filled? Because you're empty.

Every single week you run out of love.

Every single week you run out of love for people you swore youwould never not love, you run out of love.

You run out of love for your husband, your wife, your kids, your family, your friends.

Sometimes you run out of love for me, you're like, “Oh, just wrap it up.

” (congregation laughing) The purpose of my instructionis that all believers, that's you, would be filled with love.

Not love that comes from eros, not love that comes from storge, not love that comes from phileo, but agape love thatcomes from a pure heart.

God is the one person in the universe that never wants to use you, He wants to deliver you.

It comes from a pure heartwith a clear conscience.

You see, God's love doesn'tjust change your heart, it forgives your sins.

Some of you are so heavy, so broken, so overwhelmed with sin, and Jesus is begging youto let Him take that away.

But God only cleanses what we confess.

If you won't share it, Jesus won't heal it.

That all believers wouldbe filled with a love that comes from a pureheart, a clear conscience and a genuine faith.

Not everybody that claims tobe a Christian is a Christian.

Even people that areon christianmingle.

com.

(congregation laughing) the Bible says love is patient, and love is kind.

That's the first sentence.

You know what the first sentence about God's love teaches me? I have a lot to learn.

I'm impatient every day.

I lose my mind on a regularbasis waiting for my wife.

She's always concerned I'm gonna be late.

It's like, “Come on, babe, let's go.

” Look at the next word, loveis patient and love is kind.

Anybody raising childrenthat were just born kind? My kids were born biters, does anybody have a biter? Tammy and I had to go to preschool, we were called into a meeting at preschool and here's what they said, “Ifyour child continues to bite, “we will not allow yourchild in preschool.

” My kids were biters.

One day after church Igot called into the back, into Children's Ministry, thisis we need to talk to you.

And I said, “What happened?” “Your son bit someone.

” Can you imagine you come to church for the first time andyou bring your child, and you dress them up, (congregation laughing) they're so cute and you put'em in Children's Ministry and they're attacked by a dinosaur? And then they ask you, “Oh, it must have been somebody “who came to church for the first time “and they hadn't raisedtheir child to be loving.

” No, no, it was the pastor's son.

(congregation laughing) He brutally attacked our child.

(congregation laughing) I never sat my kids down and said, “This is how you bite another child.

” (congregation laughing) You see, you don't teachchildren to be selfish, you don't teach children to be violent, you don't take your kidto the playground and say, “Now you run and shove that girl.

” They just do it.

You don't teach your daughters, “This is how you gossip “about another girl onInstagram so she cries “and never wants to go to school again.

” But they do it.

Love is patient, love itkind, love is not jealous.

Love is not boastful.

Some of you are already out.

Strike one, strike two, you're out.

It's not proud or rude.

Those are the things I'm good at.

It doesn't demand its own way.

When somebody says, “Ifyou love me, you would, ” we've left the realm of love.

It's not irritable.

It keeps no record of being wronged.

It doesn't rejoice about injustice.

It rejoices when the truth wins out.

It never gives up, it never loses faith, it's always hopeful, it enduresthrough every circumstance.

God says, “You have no idea what love is.

” Next, unloving behavior must be corrected.

Listen to me, parents, Iknow you love your kids, and so you excuse their behavior.

I want you to know that God loves you but He does not excuse your behavior.

Unloving behavior smut becorrected, Revelation 3:19, I correct and discipline every one I love.

You wanna know who said that? That's Jesus Christ.

You know, “That's not the Jesus I know.

” 'Cause you don't know Jesus.

Jesus Christ said, “I correct, “I discipline everyone I love.

” We live in a culture wherediscipline is not loving.

You know what's not loving? Not disciplining, it's not.

If you love someone, you haveto be willing to correct them, you have to be willing to discipline them.

Look, this week in smallgroup and our community group was one of the hardest groups we've had.

You say, “We're talking aboutlove, what could go wrong?” We were talking about love.

Love challenges, lovecorrects, love disciplines.

We had to throw downthe gauntlet this week in small group and say, “Look, man, some of you members “in the group need to do this now.

” And it was rough.

But that's what love does.

Colossians 3:19, husbands love your wives and never treat them harshly.

Listen to me, dads, ifyou don't want your kids to be disrespectful totheir mom, they why do you? Why do you? Never ever speakdisrespectfully to each other, remind yourselves.

Remind yourselves to howmuch you love each other.

Watch your tone, watch how you speak.

Proverbs 13:4, those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.

Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Look, I'm not saying you gotta spank.

I'm not saying you gottahave a rod of justice in your house, that's not what I'm saying.

Every kid is different, every child is different, but lemme tell you something, parents, I know we have a problem in our church because I take your kids to camp.

(congregation laughing) And some of them, they don't believe the word no actually means anything.

Some of your kids hear noand they think it means go.

Every kid is different.

My oldest, all you hadto do was look at her.

Madison, (moaning), and she was repentant.

Broken down, “I'm sosorry, father, I sinned.

” My middle daughter, you couldlook at her all day long, you could yell at her, if you said stop, she would run.

Kid had a death wish.

I don't know what it was, you could talk to her until you were blue in the face.

(ranting) I just give up, come here.

Whack, right on the bottom.

It's like a reset button.

I don't know, it was like right here.

And she was like, “Yes, father, I do now understand.

” (congregation laughing) And I'm like, “Why, why, why do you have “to get the beating?” And she's like, “I don'tknow, I just need them.

” (congregation laughing) Then we had our son, right, boys are different.

You know what he did? He punched his mom.

Oh, I know.

(congregation laughing) I was like, (laughing), and I said, “Son, “you are not the son of my womb.

” (congregation laughing) I literally told him this, I said, “We're gonna make a memory.

” I know, and we did, it was good.

(congregation laughing) Now I don't wanna seeyou on CNN going to jail 'cause you beat your kids.

You're like, “Pastor MattBrown said that's the Lord.

” (congregation laughing) That's not what I'm saying, it's not what I'm saying.

But listen to me, you loveyour kids, the world won't.

You love your kids so you makeexcuses for their behavior, the world won't.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– And you need to help them understand that they need to behave in a loving way and love is patient, love iskind, love is not rude, mom.

It's not rude.

And you need to deal with that.

You need to deal with that.

I tell my kids all thetime, “Change your tone, “or I will help you.

” We gotta speak to each other in love, that's what the Bible says, “Speak truth to one another in love.

” Lastly, romantic love, romantic love must be directed.

You can't just follow your heart, you gotta give your heartto Jesus and follow His.

Romantic love must be directed.

We got a mom and a dad, and both of them areconcerned in their own way, so the mom says, “Oh son, son of my womb, “don't waste your life on women.

” The dad's like, “Bro, listen to me, son, ” right? 'Cause moms talk one way to kids, dads talk another way.

And you need both, you need both.

My son, pay attention to my wisdom.

Listen carefully to my wise counsel.

Why? For the lips of an immoralwoman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.

Here's what it means, parents, your little three year old, they're gonna listen to you to a point, and lemme just say, parents, raising children under five, you're in hell, but there'sthis beautiful thing, it's called six to 12, and it's wonderful, and it prepares you fornot-so-wonderful, it's called 13.

(congregation laughing) It's an unholy number.

I'm kidding.

(congregation laughing) But you gotta talk to yourkids while they still listen to you, because there's gonna be a point where they listen to erosand they tune you out.

My son, listen to me, payattention to my wisdom, listen carefully to my wise counsel, for the lips of an immoralwoman are sweet as honey and her mouth is smoother than oil.

And, oh by the way, so are guy's lips.

So are guy's lips.

But in the end, she is as bitter poison.

Just because you're thirsty, doesn't mean you should drink poison.

I know you want love, I know you do.

Let God teach you how todrink it, or you'll die.

In the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.

Her feet go down to what? Death.

Her steps lead straight to the grave, for she cares nothingabout the path to life.

We call Sandals the Sandals Church because following Jesus is a journey.

We follow His sandals, wefollow in His footsteps, we follow in His life.

We do not follow the life andin the footsteps of others.

You are either on the path of life, or you are on the path of death.

She staggers down a crookedtrail, underline this, and she does not realize it.

Not everybody that'sgoing to hell realizes they're on the road to hell.

Some people think theyare on the road to heaven.

Stay away from her, don't gonear the door of her house.

If you do, you will lose your honor, lose your merciless, youwill lose to merciless people all that you've achieved.

Love destroys families, love destroys careers, love destroys life, if you're not careful.

Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoythe fruit of your labor, and in the end, you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body.

3, 000 years ago whenthe world knew nothing of sexually transmitteddiseases, God did, God did.

And some of you don't know this, but AIDS still takes more lives in America each year than guns.

They just don't advertise it.

Do you understand that? In our state, sexuallytransmitted diseases are at an all-time high.

Do you know why? Morality is at an all-time low.

And people don't walkaround with a, you know, flashing light on their forehead, “I have a sexually transmitted disease.

” That would be nice.

In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body.

Listen to me, whetheryou're gay, straight, or bi, God has a plan for yourlife that is different than your desires.

And we live in a world that said, “God would never give you erotic feelings “that He did not want you to act on, ” that is because they'venever read the Bible.

Or they have never read it honestly.

We all have erotic desires, that if we act on them, that if we follow them, they will ruin our lives.

Following Jesus will never ruin your life.

It will save your soul andit will bless your life.

Some of you guys don't know this, but the man who is accreditedwith writing these words, his name is Solomon.

The Bible says he isthe wisest man on earth, and we know he was the stupidest man when it came to women.

You see, he had wisdom in some areas and he was ignorant and foolish in others.

It's why his wife, at the end, says, “Do not ruin your life “as some kings do.

” Because Solomon ruined his life because he followed the desires of eros, rather than the desires of God.

Here's what he says, here's a guy who's had thousands of women, thousands of sexual escapades, here's what he says to his son.

He says, “Drink water from your own well, “share your love only with your wife.

“Why spill the water of yoursprings into the streets, “having sex with just anyone? “You should reserve it for yourselves.

” He's talking about marriage.

“Never share it with a stranger.

“Let your wife be a fountainof blessing for you.

“Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

” As you age, you don't look the same.

That's true, it's why Godblesses us with poor eyesight.

(congregation laughing) You just remember.

(congregation laughing) He says, “Let your wife be afountain of blessing for you.

“Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

“She is a loving deer and a graceful doe.

“Let her breasts satisfy you always.

“May you always becaptivated by her love.

” Tammy and I were at a meeting last week and she was running themeeting and I was listening.

And there were just a couple of moments where I caught her outof the corner of my eye and I remembered when she caught my eye, almost 30 years ago.

Here's the truth about marriage, it's a lot of work, it'sa lot of challenges, and there's not alwaystime for eros and romance, but there are moments.

And I saw her and then I watched her and then I saw it again, and then I saw it again.

And after the meeting we drove home and I said, “Tonight, babe, while you were talking “and while you were running the meeting, “I was blown away athow beautiful you are.

” We've been married 24 years.

I watched her sink intoher chair and gush.

And she said, “You have no idea how much “that means to you, to me.

” She said, “I love hearing “that you still think I'm beautiful.

” And I said, “This isgonna be a good night.

” (congregation laughing) (congregation clapping) Right? The old buck is awakened.

(congregation laughing) Listen to me, this iswhat God wants for you, God wants you to be committed to someone who is committed to you.

No matter what, throughgood times and bad, for better or worse, until death do you part.

You see this ring that I wear? It's a commitment, notjust to her, but to God.

– [Congregant] Amen.

– And I plan on wearing thisuntil death takes me home or death takes her home, because that's what agape love demands.

It's what God has for you.

(congregation clapping) Amen? (congregation clapping) And I know some of youdon't believe it's possible and that's because you don't know God.

You don't know God, you have no idea what He has in store for you.

If you wanna experience this love, you have to make a commitment today to listen, to listen.

And Jesus was asked what's themost important commandment, some of you know it, does anybody know it? Say it out loud.

Love.

Love the Lord your Godwill all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

That's the Christian version.

In Hebrew it begins with a different word.

Listen, it's called the shama.

When Jesus is asked what's themost important commandment, He recites the shama.

And shama in Hebrew means listen, listen.

Hear, oh Israel, listen, oh Israel, the Lord your God is one, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, allyour soul and all your mind.

You see love begins with listening.

Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, we thank You for today.

We thank You for the opportunity to listen to You.

We pray in the mighty name of Jesus, God, right now, that Youwould heal broken hearts that have been shatteredby love, broken by love, and betrayed by love.

And I pray, right now, theywould make a commitment to listen to Your love, to listen to Your commands and to learn from You.

And, Lord, for those who are single, I pray that they develop alist and it starts with this, they will not marry or date anyone who does not listen to You.

I pray this in Jesus name, amen.

Love you Sandals Church.

Hey, I'm Pastor Matt.

Super excited and thankfulthat you took time to watch any of the contenton sandalschurch.

tv.

I would love to invite you to be a part of just those who support theministry at Sandals Church.

Look, I realize many ofyou go to other churches and I'm not encouragingyou to take any money away from that, but any amountthat you could give to help us continue toprovide this content online for free, that's theheart of Sandals Church.

And some of you, man, you're not a Christian, but I you watch this, andyou're feeling led by God to give something, any amount helps.

It helps us continue toprovide this content online, and I just am so blessedthat you would just take time to pray about it.

And all gifts are welcome.

Thank you so much for helpingSandals Church teach people how to be real.

(upbeat music).

Healing Past Hurt | Sandals Church

(bright music) – Hey everybody, welcome to Sandals Church where we are all aboutthis vision of being real.

And if you wanna divedeeper into this vision or even what it looks like in your life or ask any questions.

Head on over to Debrief.

show.

It's our podcast thatyou have to check out if you wanna learn moreabout what God is doing through Sandals Church.

But thanks so much for joining us today.

Enjoy the message.

(upbeat music) – Hello Sandals Church.

I also wanna welcome thoseof you who are joining us via Sandals Church TV.

And so it's good to behere with you today.

I don't know if youwere with us last week, but we've begun this new series called “The Cure For Loneliness.

” And Pastor Fredo kind of opened it up and presented the problem.

And that's this: That there is an epidemic of loneliness not only in our country, but across the globe.

We're seeing staggering statistics that reveal this problem ofisolation and loneliness.

In fact I was thinking about it this week.

Like when did I feel the loneliest that I've ever felt in my life? And I had been over the deepend for a couple of years in high school, partying quite a bit.

And I knew I needed to get away.

I needed to change my environment.

And so I went to college in Oklahoma and it was the first weekend of classes.

They had this special little event thing, The Last Day of Summer they called it.

And we went to this waterpark in Oklahoma City.

And before the park had opened there was this sort of side picnic area, some volleyball tables, volleyball tables, that was strange.

Volleyball courts.

And we were playing thispickup game of volleyball.

And all of the sudden Istarted to get lightheaded.

Started to get dizzy.

And the world around me began to spin.

And the next thing I knew Iwoke up strapped to a stretcher getting put in an ambulance.

I had no clue what had happened.

I had to be told that just 10 minutes ago I had a grand maul seizure.

I'd never had a seizure before in my life.

As far as I knew I wasn't epileptic.

I got rushed to thehospital, ran a buncha tests and all of these kinds of things and I remember just sort ofbeing as alone as I'd ever been.

I was 1600 miles from my home, anyone or anything that I knew.

And I remember I finally criedout to God in my loneliness.

It had been awhile since I'dengaged the God that I knew.

And so I know that thatinternal experience of loneliness andisolation, even in a world where we might be around alotta people, is very common.

But it's something I wouldnever wish on my worst enemy.

And so what I love thoughis that Pastor Fredo didn't just leave us there.

He pointed us to the solution.

And that's this idea thatthe cure for loneliness is a table.

It's a table both in the literal sense that it's a space that wegather around, we share a meal, it's a space where we getto share about our days and what's going on in our lives, our frustrations, our joys.

But it's also sort of thismetaphor that we'll be using over the next several weeks that really is a metaphorfor the space within which the kind of community, the kind of humanflourishing in relationship that God wants for us, that's where this happens, at the table.

And so the idea for therest of the series though, is to actually unpack thosethings that get in the way of us getting to the table.

What are the things that keep us isolated? Relationally? Maybe you've been at the tablebut you've been displaced for one reason or another.

Maybe you've been dismissed, right? There's a circle of friends that you're just not welcome anymore.

Maybe you've dismissedyourself because you believe, man I don't know if beingat the table is worth it.

People at the table are crazy, right? And maybe you've justsorta, or you've been hurt and that's really sortof the topic for today.

Is maybe you've been wounded at the table.

And so maybe you didn't ask to be excused but you just sort of slid your chair back, hoping nobody notices andjust sort of walked away.

And so how do we get back to the table, especially when we'vebeen hurt at the table? And so before we jumpinto our message today, I'd just ask that you'dpray with us, pray with me that we would have God's help as we sort through his word together.

God we are so thankful that you have not left us to ourselves.

God that you have givenus your word as a guide and my prayer is that youwould give us ears to hear, and God that you would alsojust be with me as I deliver it, actually feeling a littlebit off physically, God, so sustain me, give mestrength and energy.

And God would we have earsto hear from your word and be changed by it today.

In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

So here's kind of the firstthing I wanna share with you.

God's original design, the plan for the table was actually this divine institution from the very beginning called the family.

That was the space that Godintended for us to be safe, to be known, to find intimaterelationship with one another.

But ever since the gardenof Eden, the family table, that space has been broken.

And so each and every one of us, even if you had a good familyenvironment growing up, maybe both of your parents were present in the way that they were supposed to be and you say yeah, actually mychildhood wasn't all that bad.

There's still some brokenness.

Every family's got it.

And so what happened along the way is that we got hurt, right? And so there's a reason thattherapists spend a lotta time just going back to childhood stuff.

Childhood stuff.

And so the story thatwe're gonna be a part of and jump into today is actually the story of a broken family.

And it's a crazy story.

It takes up about thesecond half of Genesis.

And so before we jump into the passage I need to give a little bit of context.

There's this guy named Jacob.

He needs a wife so his familysends him to a different town to some relatives and hemeets this gal named Rachel.

And the scriptures say thatRachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face.

She was hot, right? She was fine, all right, okay? He was into her, okay? And so he approaches her dad, named Laban, this guy named Laban.

And he says “Man, I wantyour daughter, Rachel.

” And so he says, “That's fine”.

“You gotta work for me for seven years.

” And so if you're a romantic or you're into cheesy love stories like it's actually a very powerful story.

It says this, the Biblesays this about Jacob and his love for Rachel: After working for seven years, right? He loved her so much itseemed as if but a few days.

(congregation laughs) Right? And so he goes to marry her and Laban, this yahoo, he actually tricks, he dupes Jacob and onthe night of the wedding gives him actually hisolder daughter, named Leah.

Now here's what the Bible in one translation says about Leah: She didn't have asparkle in her eye, okay? Let me translate that for you.

This is the Bible's kindway of saying that Leah, she was U-G-L-Y.

U-G-L-Y, right? She had no alibi.

Sorry.

But he wasn't into her.

But he loved Rachel andso he ended up working a whole another seven years.

And if you thought your family was crazy, think of four moms.

Not just one pair of, one sister wives, right? But two pairs of sisters wives.

There was some maids involved too.

There were four moms thatended up having 12 sons.

In fact these were whatwe would then later know as the 12 tribes of Israel.

Because Jacob's namewas changed to Israel.

It was literally Jacob'ssons, the 12 tribes of Israel.

And so that's where we pick up our story.

And this story is one of the longestnarratives in the Bible.

It's actually from chapters 37-50.

It's a beautiful story, the story of Joseph.

And so that's where we pick up.

This is the account ofJacob and his family.

When Joseph was 17 years old, he often tended his father's flocks.

He worked for his half brothers, the sons of his father'swives Bilhah and Zilpah.

You gotta love the Biblical names, right? Bilhah and Zilpah.

But Joseph reported to his father some of the bad thingshis brothers were doing.

Most of you, if you knowthe story of Joseph, you'll know that most of it is about what his brothers do to him.

But I think we forget thatit actually starts with him.

He's a punk little brother, right? He begins with tattle taling, right? He's reporting to his father the bad things his brothers had done.

I've got four sons.

So I'm very familiar with brotherhood, and the many sorts offights and different things that go on amongst ourbrothers or our sons, the four brothers.

The third one, named Asher, coincidentally it's one ofthe 12 tribes of Israel, came into my room theother day and he's giddy.

Like he's like (laughing)like dancing like, you know just a weird kind of happy.

I'm like, what is going on with you? And he begins to share with me that he got this legendarycard in this game, like this digital game, Clash Royale, if you care.

And so he got this legendarycard and I'm just like man, your excitement level, it doesn't quite match.

Like I don't understandwhat's so big about this card.

And the truth actually came out.

It wasn't so much that he washappy that he got the card.

It was that his two older brothers didn't have that card yet.

Right? It's just kinda how brotherhood works.

A punk little brother Joseph is, right? And so Jacob loved Joseph, this is the dad now, not only does that hurt his brothers, I'm sure they're not fansof the tattle taling, but then you've got thisother layer from the dad.

Jacob loved Joseph more thanany of his other children because Joseph had beenborn to him in his old age.

So one day Jacob had aspecial gift made for Joseph, a beautiful robe.

The thespians in the room might know this as the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.

Got three theater fans in the room.

Probably wasn't technicolor.

It's a beautiful robe.

A gift from his dad to his favorite.

But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved himmore than the rest of them.

So we've got another layer of hurt for the other 11 brothers, right? A dad who clearly favors his son.

And we know not only thatit's that the sons that he had in his old age, but him andhis other brother, Benjamin, who he also favors, they were, those two, they were the sons of Rachel.

There's another layer there.

But this is what it developed into.

They couldn't say a kind word to him.

Like they were so offended that they couldn't say a kind word to him.

When Joseph's brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance.

As he approached, theymade plans to kill him.

That escalated kinda quickly, right? Made plans to kill himas they saw him coming.

The first point in your notes as we look at this story about this family that's displaced, this broken family table, hurt people hurt people.

Maybe you've heard that phrase before.

People who are wounded, who are hurt, it's kinda the notion of like, don't bite the hand that feeds you.

When you're wounded, when you'rehurt you tend to lash out.

In fact it's whatperpetuates the cycle of sin.

We are sinned against, we're offended, and then we sinfully respond to that.

And so goes the cycle.

You know my oldest son, he's a super sweet kid.

Well loved, we're reallyblessed to have him as a son.

And when he was a toddler he was so sweet that he went through this phase where if he bumped intosomething like the coffee table he would be like “Sorry.

” Aw, right? Yeah, crazy sweet boy.

Just loved everybody, super kind.

Until one day, as a three-year-old, he got a splinter in his hand.

And my son's not a wuss, but he gets a little dramatic with pain.

Like he just, you knowhe was freaking out.

And for whatever reason, whenever something crazyhappens at our house, when chaos is unleashed, I'm not there.

My beautiful wife gets to dealwith the crazy by herself.

We had a kitten go into seizures once.

Where was I? I was on the lake.

My kids are freaking out.

Their kitten, I know, that's kind of dark.

But there was a moment, I'm not kidding you, where a bat got into our house.

A bat.

Circling our house.

And they're freaking out.

Where was I? Not there, you know? So my son gets this splinter and my wife calls me and I can't hear her because all I'm hearing is screaming, like bloody murder in thebackground, like (screams).

Like just a demon child, right? And I'm like what iswrong, like is Avery okay, is he dying, she's like”No, he has a splinter.

” It's like all right, I'm gonna come home, try and help you out.

So I get home and he's just not having it.

She hasn't even touched himwith tweezers yet or anything.

And so we're like buddy, we gotta get this out.

Da da da da.

I found out later, like wedidn't have to traumatize him in this way because it'll come out and make its way to the surface, but we were wanting toget the splinter out.

And so we're like startingto kinda restrain him or whatever and he is scream, he is like everythingthat he can muster up in his tiny little three year old body.

And then this sweet little boy, just spewed the most venomous curse that he could come up with.

He looked right into my soul.

He pointed at me, he said, “You are an ugly, ugly man.

” (congregation laughs) I was like, oh, I'm not evenyour dad anymore, right? You have to refer to me as some other man.

And I'm ugly, right, apparently Leah wasn't the only ugly one.

Like I'm like whoa okay.

We probably added insult to injury.

We laughed so hard.

We'll be paying for that therapyfor years to come I'm sure.

But the point is this, he was hurting.

Right? He was hurt.

And so he lashed out with hurt back at me, the one who was tryingto take care of him.

And so my question to you today, is have you dealt, weall have them by the way, have you dealt withthe hurts in your past? Have you dealt with yourown broken family system that displaced you from the table, the very space that wassupposed to teach you how to be in a real relationship, in true community.

Maybe you haven't yet done that because you don't know where to begin.

Maybe there's a lotthere for you to unpack.

And so maybe that'sbecause of this next point in your notes, is this, is resentment multiplies the hurt.

Resentment multiplies the hurt.

And when you hear the word resentment you can plug in a coupleof other synonyms there.

Bitterness, unforgiveness.

It compounds the original issue.

So as if the originaloffense wasn't enough, now this stuff starts to happen internally and it multiplies the hurt.

I was talking to my thirdson about the message and about this idea of pasthurts and how it isolates us.

And he's like, “Ohyeah, like Spider Gwen.

” Now if you're old likeme or you haven't seen “Into the Spiderverse” yetit's the story of this girl, she's sharing how her bestfriend, Peter Parker, got shot.

And she wasn't able to save him.

And so she says, “Now I end upspending the rest of my life, “now I'm just saving everyone else.

” But then she says thisone really telling line, and my son, my 11 year oldson, is sharing this story, he gets it.

She said “And now Idon't do friends anymore, “just to avoid the distractions.

” You see the resentment from the loss of herbest friend being shot had kept her from being in relationship.

It's this powerful pictureof somebody who's wounded and is actually trying todo what's right, right? She's trying to do the super hero thing.

But she's not about friends.

She's not about community.

So we pick up our story, but before we do that, there's a few chapters that have been skipped.

And so what ends up happening is the brothers havethis plan to kill Joseph.

They leave him in a pit.

And then they say, 'cause they were like ah Dad would be really ticked at us.

We don't want that blood on our hands.

And so they throw him in a pit.

So the wild animals'lleventually get to him.

But then they see some traders going by and they say well hey, let's profit on this deal.

They sell him to some traders.

He gets shipped to Egypt.

He's falsely accused andthen starts to rise to power because God's given him thisgift of interpreting dreams.

And the Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, needs some dreams interpreted.

But then there's a faminein the land of Israel.

Right? And his brothers, they are sent by Jacob, to go get food for the family.

And now, now's thattime to exact vengeance.

It's telling, the initialresponse is as we read it.

Since Joseph was governor of all Egypt and in charge of sellinggrain to all the people, it was to him that his brothers came.

When they arrived, they bowed before him withtheir faces to the ground.

Which by the way, is thefulfillment of a dream that he'd had years prior.

Joseph recognized his brothers instantly, but he pretended to be a strangerand spoke harshly to them.

“Where are you from?” he demanded.

“From the land of Canaan, ” they replied.

“We have come to buy food.

” So right, this is the firsttime he's seeing his brothers after they've left him for dead.

And I think often ourinitial response to something is the most telling one.

Clearly there's some resentmentstill there with Joseph.

And it's multiplying the hurt.

Now God begins to work on Joseph's heart after this point in the story and things begin to shift.

And we'll get there soon.

But I'm just reminded ofhow we can hold onto things.

My oldest son, that same sweet boy, again talking about this idea, preparing for this message.

And he said, talking about past hurts, he's like “Oh yeah, you mean that time “you forced me to go on Tower of Terror?” (congregation laughs) So if you're California Adventure, it used to be Tower ofTerror, now it's Guardian, it's one of these like dropsort of rides, you know.

And we were there and I'm like, he's probably eight years old at the time.

And I was like, yeah manyou gotta go on this.

And he's like nope.

Right, he's digging his heels in, he's like I'm “No, I'mnot doing it, too freaky, “too scared, no way.

” But I was like, no, no, no, internally, right? I'm like I know how this story line goes.

Like I pressure him and pressure him and then he goes on the ride and he loves it and hewants to do it again.

So that's what I'm gonna do.

Right? Come on bud.

Like it wasn't peer pressure, Dad pressure, whatever.

And finally he succombs, right? I mean he's like “Okay, I'll do it.

“I'll do it for you.

” Right? So he's retelling this story.

He's like “Yeah, Dad, that's the day “that my fear of heights began.

” (congregation laughs) Like, right? And he's actuallymentioned it a few times.

And I'm like wow, like you'restill bringing this up.

And he's kinda joking, maybenot joking a little bit too.

And so I'm starting to realize, man I need to have a conversation.

I need to figure this out.

I need to make some things right.

He's like “Oh yeah, and a few days later “we were playing catch andyou threw a tennis ball “and I didn't catch it andit hit me in the face.

” I was like oh my gosh.

It was a rough week for Avery.

And so like we ended uphaving this conversation about that.

But I could tell that there was still, even if it was low level andwe could laugh a little bit there was still something there.

There was still a littlebit of bitterness there that's this thing thatI did to my own son.

Unintentionally.

And so I wanna actually takea little bit of a left turn, it's gonna feel likethat, but stick with me.

Because I wanna shift tosomething a bit more serious.

I wanna talk about what we'vebeen experiencing as a nation.

Many of you know lastweekend there were two more mass shootings in our country.

Leaving 31 people dead.

And so with all of the onlineand digital and social media sort of venom that gets spewed.

You know you're scared almostto like what do you say? Right? The whole idea of thoughts and prayers, like that's been criticized.

We have to act but whatcan we possibly do, right? It's a huge problem.

Systemic.

It's indicative of acultural rift in our country, like what do we? Okay, if we're supposed to act, what could we possibly do? Right? I'm with Pastor Matt, theidea of sending thoughts is a little strange.

What about the prayers? And I had to, I came to a point this week where I was convicted of this.

I had to ask myself the samequestion that I would ask you, because I have this personalcommitment that as a pastor I'm not gonna say I'mpraying for you if I don't.

Like it's just, we say that a lot, we throw it out and I'm wondering, has that become cliche, isthat just something we say? Or church are we on our knees? Are we actually praying? And I confess, it was about Wednesday, several days afterwards, where I finally realized, man I haven't, I haven't prayed.

And so I did and I was reminded, like man where do you even begin.

I remember Romans 8 that says this: When we don't know how to pray, the spirit intercedes with us with groans that words can't express.

And so I do believe that the church is called by God to play aprophetic role in our culture.

And by prophetic I don'tmean telling the future.

I mean reading the signs of our times and delivering God'sword, God's truth to it.

And so the first thingI wanna say is this: Is you need to know thespirit of God is grieving.

And he's praying with groansthat words cannot express.

But I wanna offer one more thing.

And it's the next point in your notes.

It's the way forward, it'sthe way back to the table.

The way back to the tableis through forgiveness.

The way back to the tableis through forgiveness.

My guess is, it's like maybeyou're a little jarred, you're like what does forgiveness have to do with a mass shooting? Forgiveness, like isn'tthat a little weak? Like gimme something with alittle more teeth, Pastor.

It was enough, forgiveness was sufficient for a community inPennsylvania 13 years ago when a lone gunman walkedinto a one room school house in, of all places, an Amish community.

Like a people of peace.

He took 10 girls hostage, ages six to 13.

Shot 10 of, excuse me, shoteight of them and five died.

What we would find out later as the investigation went on was that this man had helddeep resentment against God because nine years prior he had lost his own infant daughter.

Talk about resentmentmultiplying the hurt.

But that's not the end of the story.

And what would ensue withinhours after that shooting blew the mind of our nation.

What ended up happening within hours is that several from the Amish community, some of the elders, went to the home of the now widowed gunman'swife to extend forgiveness.

To say look, we'regrieving, we're in shock, but I gotta imagine so are you and your three young children.

Right? And it doesn't even stop there.

Their forgiveness wasmore than just verbal.

They put their money where their mouth is.

They raised a fund forthe family of the gunman, the family of the gunman.

Right? Like what? Like who does that? And some of us are evenlike man, that feels wrong to move so quickly to forgiveness.

But here's what it did: it's a powerful force relationally.

It healed the community.

This week, my wife, Shanalea and I, we were watching a movie based on it and the production value's not great, the acting's not great, but about halfway through my wife is just like bawling.

You know even at several moments, like I'm tearing up.

At one point she slaps me.

She's like “Why did youmake me watch this?” Like she's just a wreck.

You know? Like you're gonna haveto forgive me for that.

That's violent, you know? But it was powerful, this story.

The way back to the tableis through forgiveness.

And so in Genesis 50 the brothers have beentaken care of by Joseph but finally their dad, Jacob, dies.

And they're probably thinking, like man, Joseph and his kindness and his taking care ofus, it was all for Dad.

But what ends up happening is Jacob dies.

But now that their father was dead, Joseph's brothers became fearful.

“Now Joseph will show his anger “and pay us back for allthe wrong we did to him.

” He will take vengeance.

The opposite of forgiveness, right? He's gonna stick it to 'em, they said.

But Joseph replied.

Listen to this perspective.

“Don't be afraid of me.

“Am I God, that I can punish you?” In other words he understandssomething very deep about forgiveness.

It's not that it just sort ofgoes away into the atmosphere.

It's actually transferringit to the ledger of God.

God will ultimately take an account.

In the Amish community, they said man, your husband is gonna standbefore a holy and just God, have mercy on his soul.

They knew that there's one seat, one who can occupy that seatof judgment who is righteous.

And we're gonna give ouroffenses, our wounds, our past hurts to him.

We're gonna allow him to deal with it.

Joseph knows whose place that is.

It says this then in the next verse.

This is one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible, I believe.

Especially when it comes to a picture of extending grace and forgiveness, and redemption thatcomes when that happens.

“You intended to harm me, butGod intended it all for good.

“He brought me to this position “so I could save the lives of many people.

“No, don't be afraid.

“I will continue to take careof you and your children.

” He too puts his money where his mouth is.

And then check out howit comes full circle.

I encourage you, go home and read this.

It's 14 chapters.

Comes full circle.

He says this: So he reassured them byspeaking kindly to them.

It was his brothers that couldn'tspeak a kind word to him.

And now because of this work that God does in Joseph's heart, this perspective that he's brought, allows him to forgive them and to speak kindly to them.

Ephesians 4 says this: Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.

It's a brief pictureof very concise picture of what it means to be at the table.

The kind of communitythat God is creating, that Jesus is inviting us to, is one that is tenderhearted, that is kind, that is ready to forgive.

But how? Or maybe the better question is why, like why forgive? Like what's the motivation here? It comes in that next clause.

Just as God throughChrist has forgiven you.

Remember what Pastor Fredo said last week, to be at the table is to know that you are a sinnerin need of repentance.

Your ability to forgive comes from a clear understanding that you yourself are asinner, capable of doing evil, a capacity to hurtsomeone, to offend someone, even if you don't mean it.

Perhaps you've understood that you've said or done something relationally that has caused somebody elseto take off from the table.

And so what do you do but toextend that same forgiveness that you've been shown? We only have a seat at the table because Jesus has first forgiven us.

And now we have no choice if we get that to do the same for others.

So I wanna talk, I just wanna unpack for ourlast few minutes together, a little bit about what forgiveness is, what it isn't, somepractical kinds of things to clarify from God's word howyou might go out from here.

Not just a hearer of theword, but a doer of it, to be people, a church, marked by forgiveness.

I wanna give you a quick definition first.

Most of the, a lot ofthe Biblical passages about forgiveness usethe metaphor of finances.

It's actually a notion of debt, of owing someone something.

In fact in one version, onetranslation of the Lord's Prayer it says forgive us our debtsas we too forgive our debtors.

So the quick definitionI would give you is, forgiveness is about declaring that though you have wrongedme, you don't owe me anything.

You don't owe me anything.

And so I'm releasing you from that debt.

It's a radically different system than the one in the Old Testament, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

You do something to meyou have to pay me back with an equal amount.

And forgiveness here is about saying you don't owe me anything.

The political party that you're mad at, they don't owe you anything.

The oppressive system, thoughit's oppressive and evil, it doesn't owe you anything.

You're releasing that, you'resaying that's on God's hands to deal with.

And so there's a few things.

Forgiveness does notmake what happened okay.

Forgiveness does notmake what happened okay.

So as we've had a lot ofopportunities with four boys to practice making anapology and things like that, we've taught them that whenthey say they're sorry, first of all they have to name the wrong I'm sorry for.

And the more specific themore effective the apology.

Right? Not just a general, like oh I'm sorry, like my Dad's making me do this.

Right? Sometimes I really get them andI make them hug for like 10, I literally count out 10 seconds.

And so it's actuallyamazing what happens by, like they're all like rigid and whatever, and I won't start counting until they're actuallyembracing each other.

And by about six, seven or eight, as I'm counting to 10they're like laughing.

It's pretty amazing.

But what's the most commonresponse to an apology if you think about it? Somebody comes to you andthey say, “Hey I'm sorry.

” Most of us say, it's okay.

No.

That cheapens the forgiveness.

What happened isn't okay.

I didn't list all ofthe Bible verses there.

My hope is that you'd go homeand unpack some of those.

The one that you see underthis point is Isaiah 5:20.

It says woe and not like whoa, but like Biblical woe, likewoe, like bad things upon you.

Right? Who call something that's evil good.

But we're not asking of you, what God isn't saying is to forgive is to callsomething that was wrong, good or right or true.

And especially, there'sa spectrum of offenses.

There's sorta the petty every day stuff and I'll speak to those in just a minute.

But then on the other end of the spectrum there's some pretty deep level wounds that some of us are carrying, some hurts.

Those of us, for instance, who've been abused.

Emotionally, verbally, sexually, maybe all of the above.

And so what we're not saying is that what happened to you is okay.

Far from it.

So what if the other person though, doesn't acknowledge the wrong? You say you don't owe meanything, it's forgiveness.

But don't they at least owe me an apology? How many of us are stillwaiting on that apology? That's probably never gonna happen.

And so does forgivenessmake sense in that context? Where we don't even know if the person who wronged usknows that they wronged us.

Forgiveness can also be oneway, that's the next point.

Forgiveness can be one way.

Now when it's wise, or when it's safe, there's another layerthat the Bible speaks to called reconciliation.

It takes two to tango with that.

There has to reciprocity forrelationship to be restored.

Right? But with forgiveness it can be one way, because here's the deal.

As you've been hurt and you're trying to makeyour way back to the table, you may not be coming back to the table with the people who hurt you.

You're trying to get back to the table because you need community, it's how we're designed to live.

And so forgiveness can be one way.

I know that because themost profound picture of forgiveness we haveis Jesus on the cross.

And one of his last words is this: “Father, forgive them, theyknow not what they do.

” The people who were crucifying Jesus and theologically by the way, that's me and you and everyone else.

They didn't know what they were doing.

He didn't wait on an apology to ask his father in heaven to forgive.

Forgiveness can be one way.

Also forgiveness is costly when it's a death to self.

Like we have to choose to not hold onto what's rightfully ours, it costs us somethingto sort of absorb that or to release that.

But it's not optional Matthew 18 tells a story about this guy who owes an unpayable debt, like think millions andmillions of dollars.

And he's about to getin some serious trouble 'cause he can't pay.

I think he's about toget throw into prison.

And so he's begging formercy from this king, from this master, thislord who he owed money.

And finally the king has mercy on him, the one who's owed the money, and he says, yeah actually, I'm gonna just forgive this.

You don't owe me anything.

And he walks out and the sameguy who was just forgiven sees some other knucklehead on the street who owes him a fraction ofwhat he was just forgiven.

He's starting to like choke the fool out, trying to get his money back.

He just came from being forgiven, right? That's a picture of me and you.

We've been forgiven and so we don't, it's not optional as a Christian.

Should I forgive or not? It's just what we do.

And I know that that'sa hard word to receive.

But ultimately it frees you.

It heals you, it allows youto come back to the table where there are people who are safe, who maybe won't wound youas you've been wounded.

Finally I'm not naive.

I know that even though there's a moment where we choose by our will to forgive, and I wanna emphasize that really quickly, don't wait 'til you feel it.

I'm finally feeling like forgiving.

It probably isn't gonna happen.

Most things that God calls us to are acts of our will.

And we pray that the feelings follow.

Right? But it's a process.

One of Jesus's disciples says”How many times do I forgive?” And if you know this story, Jesus says, “70 times seven.

” Some of the mathematicians are like 490.

Some of you are like myhusband's long past 491.

I don't have to forgive any more.

No.

It's not the point, right? The idea is just to be aChristian, to follow Jesus in this way is to forgive andto forgive and to forgive.

Indefinitely, as long as it takes.

The last point in your notes is this.

Forgiveness moves us fromvictimhood to victory.

From victimhood tovictory because some of us are real victims.

We've been hurt.

And yet the victory is when we can berestored to relationship, when we are able to dealwith that and heal from that in such a way that wecan be back at the table.

And I mean let's be honest for a moment.

Most of like the offenses in our lives, not to minimize the stuff onthis side of the spectrum, that's very serious and it'svery real, that's very deep.

But most of the offenses arelike the day to day stuff are really kinda petty, right? It's almost in our culture, like we're just waiting to be offended.

The other day, yesterday actually, I was in a parking lot, busy parking lot.

I was in a hurry.

And the rest of the world apparently didn't know I was in a hurry.

And this guy, there was an open spot and I'm like it's kindaclose to where I'm going.

And so he jumps in ahead of me.

And then if like thatwasn't enough, right? He added the insult to injury and decided he wanted todo like the back in thing, facing forward.

And then he didn't get his angle right, so it wasn't just like a three point turn but where it's like thisguy doesn't care about it.

And then I'm like ohthere's the guy behind him that's gonna take my other spot, right? And I'm all offended.

You know? I'm like oh my gosh, you know, just this morning I wentto go to the refrigerator, to grab my wife her Half &Half, her cream for her coffee.

And she thought I waslike getting in the way and it's like 6:30 a.

m.

, right? And neither of us have got our coffee and we are not even lovingJesus at this point.

(congregation laughs) And she is like, I openthe refrigerator door and it like cuts her off and she's like, gives me kinda just this likestink eye look or whatever.

And I'm like I felt it, like I'm so offended.

I'm here to serve you, likeI'm getting your cream, girl.

(congregation laughs) Offended, right? What if what we brought to the table was an olive branch? The olive branch is asymbol, Biblical symbol for relational peace, for the extension ofgrace and forgiveness.

What if this was just in our back pocket? Right? And I'm in community group and I share something and it'svulnerable and I perceive, like you didn't handle my heartwell, it's just ready to go.

Because ultimately it's not about me, it's about the table.

It's about this space, it's about this community.

And so what I love is these elements for the next several weeksare gonna stay on the table.

I love that we started last week with the two glasses of wine and bread that's actually not wine, we're Baptists.

It's grape juice.

But it's the symbolic presence of Christ.

And it's the centerpiece.

It's that which allelse around it revolves.

It's what makes the table possible for us.

And so we've gotta get usedto bringing forgiveness, relational peace, we gotta make allowance for each others' faults.

I've already accountedfor it, you're good.

I forgive you.

I'm just quick to move there.

So that the table doesn't get disrupted.

Because here's the beautifulthing about the table.

Is that this is practice for a forever table of Jesus.

Do you know that the Biblespeaks of our future hope as a big party, as a banquet, as a feast.

There's a table and it's really big and here's why I know it'sreally big because in Matthew 8 it says that people fromall around the world, from the East and the West, people very different from me and you are gonna sit around this tableand share a meal together.

United by Christ.

Marked by forgiveness.

Would you pray with me? God I wanna pray a prayer that your son Jesus taught us to pray.

Forgive us God, of our sins.

As we forgive those whohave sinned against us.

God would we be a people united by Christ, invited and sitting at the table because we've been forgivenand therefore we're ready with the olive branch, we're ready to forgive.

It's our first move.

And so God we do pray thatwe would leave from here, not just having heard your word, but doing it as a church that people would look at Sandals Church and be like what grace, whatmercy, what forgiveness.

I wanna sit at that table.

And that we would invitethem to this understanding that they will one day, if they choose you, to sit at a table that will last forever with people from allnations, tribes, languages.

Enjoying the feast that is ours in Christ.

In Jesus' name we pray.

Amen.

– Here at Sandals Churchwe really do believe that this vision of beingreal can change the world.

Because Sandals Church is a nonprofit that operates from donationsfrom people like you.

Because when you donate yourmoney goes to creating places for people to be real all over this world.

So man, I would love foryou to be a part of that and you can make a donation today by clicking the link on this video or going to donate.

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So join us, and join what God is doing through this vision of being real and have a great day.

(bright music).

6 Favorite Minimalist Sandals (After 3 Years)

What is up? Chris Cage here, founder ofGreenbelly Meals.

I've been wearing minimalist sandals almost every day for over three years now.

I'm a big fan of these things.

Today I'm gonna talk aboutthe six brands that I've been wearing.

We've got Earth Runner, Xero Shoes, Bedrock Sandals, Luna Sandals, Unshoes and Shamma sandals.

Alright, hopefully myfeet are clean, toes a claim for you.

In no particular order starting off withEarth runners, the Alpha adventure model I love them.

Wore them for about six months.

My favorite thing about these is the canvas footbed.

Super super comfortable.

Minimalist straps make it easy to get in and out of.

Foot just nestles in there.

They do get a little oily from your feet but I noticed that they clean up prettyeasily after a walk on the beach.

now one thing that Earth Runner seems to reallypush is this concept of grounding See this copper plug right here? Supposedly it helps connect you more to the earth.

I don't know any of the science behindthat.

Just something to note One thing that did throw me off about thesesandals was this strap right here by the front toe this thread was a little toughwhen I first got it and left some red marks on my feet after a few days itbroke in fine so not a big deal if it fits and feels great now.

Next up Xero Shoes.

This is the Z-Trail model.

I really love this model.

The Z-Trail are the only shoes on this list with the horizontal non-thong strap.

I did have the Cloud from Xero Shoes which had a much thinner sole and a thong strap.

I really prefer these Much less flimsy My toes don't feel cramped at all uphere The footbed is very very comfortable I love the lip around thisedge right here It seems to help keep debris out more when I'm outside.

Overall, just great lightweight and comfortable sandals One tiny gripe is that thisstrap requires you to really slide your feet all the way up on the sandal beforebeing able to get it on.

Not a big deal.

Just takes an extra second to get that heel strap on.

Next up Bedrock Sandals This is the Cairn modelBedrock's flagship model.

Bedrock is doing something really interesting They're kind of the halfway point between a real thin minimalist sole sandal and a clunky Chaco style sandal.

They've got the thinner sole and zero drop like a minimalist sandal but are much more rugged than anything else on the list and make a really great hiking sandal I've seen a lot of through hikersrocking these guys Their lacing system is pretty unique as well as you can tell No complaints on these at all other than the fact that might be just a hair too heavy.

Again these are designed to be more rugged And that ruggedness comeswith an extra ounce or two Luna sandals.

I believe this is the winged Oso Flacomodel I might be pronouncing that wrong Luna was started by ultra runner barefoot Ted from the famous book Born to Run He really emulated that famous tire with lacing-style look These more than anyother sandal on the list are really designed for running People do someserious running in these things Very well designed manufacturing just feelsreally high-quality lacing is durable and smooth just great sandals Luna doesoffer a lot of other models and styles to look at mainly thinner or thickersoles depending on what you prefer different lacing really to help keepyour heel more secure for those runs Unshoes these are the Wokova model verystripped-down model affordable very nice sandals move well with your feet opennice lacing nice flexibility only little gripe is this inner sole area they'vegot these two laces on the outside and one on the inside and it feels just alittle unbalanced like my foots gonna slide out but not a big deal reallygreat sandals recommend them Shamma sandals last but definitely not leastare these Shamma sandals these are the mountain goatsI probably clocked more time and knees than any other pair on the list at leasta year lots of trails lots of everyday use you can see they're finally startingto split a bit they're light but not too light just a great balance very basicno-frills design which I like super comfortable and easy to take off and ononly din might be the tread the grooves are fairly shallow which in myopinion decreases the life of the sole you can see these are pretty slick nowbut again I've worn the heck out of them and then we have Chacos notminimalist sandals I'm not gonna dog on these I really just wanted to add thesein here so you can compare them to the others on the list these weigh about 36ounces the other models are around 12 ounces so these are literally threetimes the weight you can see how the heels are higher in the back then in thefront this is not zero drop with all of the other ones are which is just not mypersonal preference there you have it my thoughts on minimalist sandals let meknow if you have any questions peace.

Mother's Day with Special Guest Lisa Bevere | Sandals Church (Closed Caption)

– Welcome to Sandals Church.

My name is Melody Workman, and I'm so glad that you are joining us.

Thanks for inviting us into your home.

I wanna say Happy Mother's Day weekend to all of the mothers and grandmothers who are watching today.

Thank you for all that you do.

We celebrate who you are, and just what you mean toeach and every one of us.

And while I know some of youare celebrating this weekend, we also know that for some of you, this is a hard time because you have a deepdesire to become a mom and that just hasn't happened for you.

And at Sandals Church, our vision is all aboutbeing real with ourselves, God and others, and that means we celebrate with thosewho are celebrating and we grieve with those who are grieving.

We want you to know that God sees you and knows you and loves you.

And if you're joining us thisweekend for the first time, we would love to hear from you.

If you go to move.

sc/new.

Let us know who you are andwhere you're joining us from, we would love to connect with you.

In this unpredictable crazytime we're all living in, one of the things that I'mpersonally so grateful for is that every single weekendand throughout the week, Sandals Church has continued to be able to come into your homeand provide programming for all of your family.

And that is only madepossible by those of you who give to the missionthat God is put us on to reach the world with this message of hope and authenticity.

So if you give, let us say thank you.

We're so grateful for that.

And if you wanna join the movement, please go to give.

sc to be a part of what God is doing here.

In just a few moments, we're gonna hear from ourlead pastor Matt Brown and a special guest.

But before we do, we're gonnasing some songs together and worship God.

And while that may feelawkward in your living room, we wanna let you know thatworship isn't about where we are, it's about who God is.

And that as you're singing in your space, there are literally thousands of people singing along with you across the street, across the neighborhood, and even across the world.

So let's together, raise our voices and give God the worshipthat he's so worthy of.

We're so glad that you're with us.

– With so much isolation and separation, something that we can alldo together is to sing and to remind ourselves of the hope that we have in Jesus Christ alone.

So wherever we find ourselves, let's sing of who God has been so we can trust Him tobe that same big God to get us through the season to get us to the other side to be with us every single day.

Let's sing these words out to him.

♪ Come let us worship our King ♪ ♪ Come let us bow at His feet ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ See what our Savior has done ♪ ♪ See how His love overcomes ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ Sing about His faithfulness together.

♪ You've been faithfulthrough every storm ♪ ♪ You'll be faithful forevermore ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ We trust this to be true, I know.

♪ And I know You will do it again ♪ Yes, You will.

♪ For Your promise is yes and amen ♪ ♪ You will do great things ♪ ♪ God, You do great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, You have done great things ♪ So we sing our songs to Him, Him alone.

♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, You have done great things ♪ ♪ You've done great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ ♪ Oh God, You do great things ♪ You are strong and mighty God.

– Our God is faithful andHe is true to His promises.

And in response, we worshipHim and we glorify Him.

So I invite you to singthe song out with us and think of all that He'sdone and all that He will do.

Let's sing it together.

♪ I give You glory ♪ ♪ For all You've brought me through ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready ♪ ♪ For whatever You wanna do ♪ ♪ I'm moving forward ♪ ♪ To follow after You ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready ♪ ♪ For whatever You wanna do ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ In every season ♪ ♪ Your grace has been enough ♪ ♪ And I'm believing ♪ ♪ The best is yet to come ♪ ♪ The cross before me ♪ ♪ My hope on things above ♪ ♪ And in You, Jesus ♪ ♪ The best is yet to come ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ The bible says, “The Lordhimself goes before you “and will be with you; “he will never leave you nor forsake you.

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

” Let us believe that truth and with confidencesing this out together.

♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ God we thank you for your presence, we worship You, we love You, amen.

– Hey Sandals Church, Happy Mother's Day, man.

We are so excited for you.

I know that Mother's Dayis gonna be very different than you want it to be.

But it can still beawesome if we let God into and so I'm so glad thatyou were here today.

I'm being joined by themother of my children, my wife, Tammy Brown, say hello.

– Hey, everybody.

– Super glad you guys are here.

A couple of years ago, Tammyand I, we made a friend.

Her name is Lisa Bevere andshe has so blessed our life and we asked Lisa tobless your life today.

And so you are in for a special treat.

You wanna just talk about how Lisa has just impacted you.

– I saw Lisa almost a decade ago now and she immediately spoke into my life, spoke to my heart as awoman, added value to me in a way that no one had up to that point.

She's someone that we both respect.

We've seen her publicly andexperienced her privately and she is the real deal.

As you know, we loveyou guys Sandals Church, and it's important to us the voice that we putin front of you guys.

So we're just so excited aboutthe message that she has.

It's Mother's Day weekend.

Lisa has been a spiritual mother to me and so we're honored that sheis gonna be with us today.

– And in the message shepromoted you to co-pastor.

So what I was thinking because Tammy didn't shy away at all from Lisa calling her co pastor.

And said, “Hey Tammy, you can have “the meeting with the governor this week.

” So, just enjoy it.

– Thank you, Lisa, but I will leave that to Matt.

– She's like, “But no thank you, “I don't wanna take the meeting either.

” Listen, we love you Sandals Church.

Here's what we're gonna do, we want you to listen to her.

She's gonna talk to you fromher kitchen from Colorado, and Tammy and I both alreadylistened to the message.

And what we wanna dois we wanna talk to you about what we got out of it.

So if you're a man, don't tune out.

If you're single, don't tune out.

If you're not a mom, don't tune out because there's some realamazing spiritual nuggets that we wanna bring out andtalk about with you at the end, because some of the things Lisasaid, just as always, right? Lisa just blows me away with what so easilycomes out of her mouth.

I'm like, “Oh, my gosh, where did you come that from? “Where did you get that from?” But it's literally shejust hears from God, and this is something we've never done, but you know what? We're living in times we'venever lived in before, and I was tired of listening to myself.

So I asked Lisa, I said, “Look, man, it's Mother's Day weekend, “we got a lot of moms who are struggling, “maintaining their sanity, “trying to figure out how to live.

” And I thought what a betteropportunity for our church to hear from our mom, somebody whose been aspiritual mom to Tammy and just a female voiceof wisdom in my life.

We love Lisa and she's blessed us and I know she's gonna bless you.

So give her the next 30 minutes and then Tammy and I are gonna come back and we're gonna talk about some things that maybe you missed but needed to hear.

(upbeat music) – Hey, Happy Mother's Day.

I cannot even tell you how excited I am to be spending my mother's day with my Sandals Church family.

Now I know a lot of you are saying, wait, we've never seen you before.

That would be all the men because I have had threetimes opportunities to gather with your women, fell in love with them.

I am all about cultivating kindness.

And I am so incredibly honoredthat pastor Matt and Tammy would ask me to bring amother day message to you.

Okay, so here's the exciting thing.

You are in my kitchen.

I know that some of youare watching me online, you're in sweatpants, you're totally relaxed, you're not in a building, but I'm going to pretend like you and I are sitting across thetable from one another.

And since I am meeting some ofyou for the very first time, I'm going to actually putup a picture of my family.

So in front of you, you're going to see that I have one son sitting with a dog.

That is my single son, his name is Alexander.

I would really love it if he could get marriedby the end of the year, because I have grandparent greed.

You're also going to seethat I have four grandkids.

I have imported a daughterin law from Texas, a daughter in law from Alabama, a daughter in law from Seattle, so the Washington State area.

I would love to import, we do not export, import another daughterin law from California.

So just be thinking aboutthat mama's out there.

Everything has changed.

We're in unprecedented times.

I'd love to help you.

I'd love to help you gofrom mother to grandmother.

But I wanna talk to youabout this incredible day that we set aside to honormothers, Mother's Day.

Now, it was just like, Oh mygosh, mothers you're amazing.

Well, now we know mothersare way more than amazing.

I hate when I hear mothersuse the disclaimer of, I'm just a stay at home mother.

Everybody's finding out now that a just stay at home mothermeans pretty much everything.

You are now educators, you are working from home, you have no buffer of school, you are doing things thatyou did not even know you could do six weeksago, seven weeks ago, and I wanna celebrate you.

I wanna also singleout the single mothers, you guys are heroes.

I have no idea how you aredoing everything that you do.

And then the women who are married to men who are deployed in themilitary, you also are my heroes.

And then some of you inaddition to being mothers and taking care of your own family, you're first responders, you are out on the front line and you are fighting this virus, and so I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for being a mother, there has never been a more important time to celebrate mothers and remember the why behind being a mother.

And when I was looking atwhat I was gonna talk about, I want you to know, I havebeen married for 38 years.

That means I have made somany horrible mistakes.

I have done a lot ofthings right by accident and a lot of things wrong on purpose.

I don't know if I told youthis, but I'm not just a mother, I am a Sicilian mother, which is a little differentthan an Italian mother.

They were all feeders.

So that's why I lovehaving you in my kitchen.

But Sicilians, we have alittle bit more of a challenge than some Italians might have.

And so I brought a lot of intensity and a lot of really the wrong ideas about what it meant to be a mother and I made all of the mistakes for you.

So I am going to share with you what I wish I would have known back then.

And to that end, there is a photo that I'm going to share with you.

And in this photo, I am 34 years of age.

I am, you're gonna see, sitting next to my husband who looks really cute and handsome.

I look super stressed.

I'm barely smiling.

I have three little boys.

You know I have four in real life, was about ready to getpregnant with my fourth.

I had just survived anairplane ride from hell.

John had taken us all on amissions trip to Indonesia.

And for some reason on theleg from Guam to Hawaii, my son Austin, releasedthe air masks in the row.

And he was sitting behind me, I had just fallen asleep, it was a really long flight when the flight attendantshakes me and is like, “Are those your children behind you?” And I just wanted tolie, I wanted to say no, I don't know those children.

I have no idea whose children.

They're like, “he justreleased all those air masks.

” You know, the ones you'resupposed to put on first before you put it on somebody else.

And he said, “You know what, you're lucky, “because this is a full flightand we're closer to Hawaii.

“Because if we were closer to Guam, “it would be your faultthat we have to go back.

” So I didn't sleep at all.

I remember we had thislittle layover in Hawaii.

We were staying at a ghettohotel and we ran away and we're walking on the grounds of this magnificentHilton Hawaiian village and somebody offered to take a photo.

And I remember at the timethinking, I don't want a photo.

I look terrible, my bangs are going crazy.

I don't want a photo of myself.

But I'm so glad that theyactually took that photo, because I remember that moment and I wish I could takethat 34 year old Lisa aside, put my arm around her and saywe're gonna go for a walk.

First thing I would tell her is what I hope you're gonna hear.

I would have said, baby girl, you're doing a better jobthan you know you're doing.

You've got a list that every single night, you accumulate everythingyou think you've done wrong, everything you think youcould have done better.

And you hold yourself upevery single night hostage to the failures of your day.

I would say girl, youneed to tear up that list because you're nevergoing to do it perfectly.

Instead of having a listof what you did wrong, I would empower Lisa to havea list of what she did right.

You know, God is alwaysabout growth, not guilt.

Mamas, you need to tear up the list, you need to look at your day.

Maybe it's just, I took a shower.

Maybe it's just nobody bled today.

Maybe it's just, I didn't yell.

Maybe it just we laughedand enjoyed one another.

Which would bring me to the second thing I would say to Lisa.

I would say, “Lisa, you'reso busy surviving your days, “that you're not enjoying them.

” I was so busy tri-folding the underwear.

I was so busy taking a toothbrushto the grout to bleach it.

I was so busy that didn'thave time to enjoy my husband, or enjoy my children.

Hey, mamas, I give youfull permission to engage and to enjoy.

You do not have tosacrifice every single day the things that actually God created to have refreshing in your life.

And my boys don'tremember that I tri-folded their underwear.

They don't rememberhow clean the house was when they were young.

What they do remember is thetimes that I played with them, the times that I laugh with them, the times that I talk to them, the times I said, “okay, I'm just going to sit down, “and I'm just going tolet the other stuff go.

” So I'm gonna give youpermission to stop tri-folding the underwear, stop tryingto make everything perfect.

Enjoy your family, enjoy your family.

You know, somebody asked my third son, who was pictured in the striped overalls.

They said, “hey, how come allfour of you boys, love God, “love your parents and areserving in some capacity “in the ministry?” And he said, “Can I getback with you on that?” And he took some timeand he thought about it and he came back and he told him, “My parents played cards withus, and they spanked us.

” Now, I'm not saying youhave to spank your kids, but what he was saying was wedisciplined and we engaged, we ate dinner.

Everything happened atthe table in our house and when dinner was over, my boys cleaned the kitchen.

I didn't clean the kitchen.

I made the mess in thekitchen, I did all the cooking.

Your children areprobably way more capable of doing things around the house, than you know that theyare capable of doing.

So I'm gonna give youpermission to assign chores, I hope your kids aren't saying, “I don't like this woman, “I you need to turn her off right now.

” When the family does things together, then there's more time for fun together.

So you need to startletting yourself enjoy instead of being mad at your husband that he's playing with the kids while you're working in the kitchen.

You get everybody else back in the kitchen so you can join in on the fun.

Another thing I would say, you guys, I turn 60 next month, I'm turning 60.

I can't even believe that, that's just crazy to me.

But I would tell my 34 year old self, “girl, you to enjoy that body.

“That is the best body youare ever going to have, “you need to enjoy that body.

” Stop criticizing it.

Stop being hard on yourself.

If you want to be strong, be strong, but stop trying to be skinny.

Get strength, rather than befaint and weak and dieting.

Take care of yourself.

Neglecting yourself, that's not godly.

Neglecting yourself is notthe same as denying yourself, denying yourself is about when you say, God, you're enough I'm gonna follow you but neglecting yourself is when you don't take care ofsomething that He has given you.

Enjoy that body.

And you know if you ifyou wanna ask anybody if what I'm saying is true, you just call one of the older women and they will say, “Iwish I would have liked “my body better when I was younger.

” Because, hey, hitting 60, I feel like I've gotsome betrayal going on.

Next thing is, you needto enjoy your husband.

You need to enjoy your husband.

The Bible says the older women, that's me, are to teach and train the younger women, how to love their husbandsand train their children.

But our culture reallyactually tells you, no, no, no.

Train your husband, and love your children.

I'm gonna tell you, you don'twant to get that backwards.

It will not go well with you.

Train your children.

It's easy to love your kids, but you've gonna be trainedto love your husband.

And I'm not picking on themen, but it's just easier.

It's just easier to love cute little kids.

Now, I'm gonna tell you something else that I wish I would have known.

I actually learned this lesson before this particular picture.

And that was I am notresponsible for John? No, seriously, I know thatsounds like what are you saying? I don't know why.

But I didn't just feel like Iwas a mother to my children.

I felt like I was themother of my husband.

Now, that brought a wholelot more pressure on me than being the mother of my kids.

You know, when John andI were first married, we had our very first son Addison, and we were married for four years, I was working full timeas a television producer.

And John was working part time.

He was working part time at a ministry, I had all the benefits, I was making more money.

And I found myself sostressed out, so stressed out.

And so I remember trying to relax, relaxation was a crazy thing.

And so I would take baths at night and sometimes I would submerge myself where just my nose was above the water.

And John would come inand look at me and say, “What are you doing?” And I'd say, “I'm trying torelax, I'm trying to relax.

” And he'd say, “you knowwhat, you just need to break “and give these things to God.

” And I'd say, “you know what? “I don't wanna break and give them to God, “I wanna give them to you.

” And because you are notcarrying these things, I've gonna carry all ofthese things for you.

And then there was this moment.

I was in the shower one night, and we had bought a shower massage.

I'm trying to get my soldiers to go down.

I'm so stressed out.

I'm working full time.

I'm breastfeeding a child.

I'm making all the food organic.

John's working part time.

He's just kind of laying in the sun.

I'm like, I wanna hit him.

And I heard God say to me, you don't think John is a verygood head of the household, do you? I said, “I don't.

” He said, “You think you can do it better?” I said, “I know I can do it better.

” And then the Spirit of God said, “Lisa, John likes you doing everything.

” He said, “it's a yoke to you.

“But it's a mantle to John, throw it off your shoulders.

” I said, “God, this man can't even remember “to take out the garbage.

“Do you understand that ifI surrender all of this, “there is going to be diaperspiled up to the ceiling.

” And in that moment, God began to replay the way that I wasinteracting with my husband.

And he said, “Lisa, allthat John has ever known “is a mother and that is whyhe acts like a little boy.

” He said, “you are going to have to learn “how to stop being his motherand start being his wife.

” Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wisewoman builds her house.

” But I didn't know how to build.

And so I remember that was aturning point where I said, “Hey, maybe I'll just quit my job.

” I don't know what we need to do.

But you know what, John, I'm not gonna think I'm the source anymore, and I am not going tobe your mother anymore.

And I watched my husbandgo from a boy to a man when I stopped being his mother, and started to be his co labor.

Now, I hope you don't feellike I'm correcting you when I'm saying that becausemaybe some of you are like, that woman is crazy.

I would never try tobe my husband's mother.

But for the two people thatmight have felt that way, you might have some Italian in you and you approach the same way as me.

I just want you to know you don't have to mother your husband.

You can go from mother, backto lover, just enjoy him.

And you guys can have conversations about building insteadof speaking in situations where you feel like you have to constantly change one another.

So we are going to train ourchildren and love our husbands, because that is way more fun than having those things flipped around.

So now, let's talk abouthow amazing women are.

See, I believe that God created woman as the answer to the very first problem.

See, long before there wasa fall there was a problem.

You think wait, didn't all theproblems start with the fall? No, the Book of Genesis saysthat there was a problem and that problem was it isnot good for man to be alone.

Now, it didn't say that men aren't good, it said the man alone, that's not good.

God treated woman as the answerto the very first problem.

I believe that women are multipliers of every thing they come in contact with.

When you look at the DNA ofa man, he is an X and a Y.

But you look at the DNAof a woman, and she is XX, she has this capacity to multiply.

And I'm gonna to Genesis chapter one, I'm gonna read it out of the ESV and I'm going to read 1: 27-31, it says, “So God createdman in his own image, “in the image of God he created him; “male and female he created them.

” Now let's think about this.

Eve was always in Adam, it was God who said, you know what? This earth needs her voice.

This earth needs her ability to multiply.

This earth needs to be hearing the things that a womanbrings to the equation, that multiplication.

And then it says, “And God bless them.

“He blessed them.

” What does that even mean? He blessed them.

It means that God, releasesomething intangible, to make everything tangiblein their life, come together.

And God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, “fill the earth, subdue it, “have dominion over the fish of the sea, “over the birds of the heavens, “over every living thingthat moves on the earth.

“and God said, “Behold, Ihave given you every plant “yielding seed that ison the face of the earth “and every tree was seed and its fruit.

“you shall have them for your food “and every beast of the earth, “and to every bird of the heavens “and to everything thatcreeps on the earth, “everything that has the breath of life, “I have given every green plant for food.

” “And it was so.

“And God saw everything that he had made, “and behold, it was very good.

” Now one of the paraphrases, the message paraphrase said, It was so good, so very good.

What does this tell us? This tells us that healthy God blessedrelationships prosper.

They take responsibility, they multiply.

They exercise something called dominion, and dominion is when I usethe authority on my life to lift others.

It is when I say, okay, I havea god given gift on my life, how can I use that giftto lift other people, God gives dominion to the man and he gives dominion to the woman, he does not give themdominion over each other, he gives them co dominion over the earth, and he says, cause it to befruitful, cause it to increase.

But you know, there wassomething called the fall, and the fall messed up allthese areas of increase, and now all the sudden, you see a breakdown between mankind and their heavenly creator.

Then you see a breakdown, man to woman.

Then you see a breakdownpeople to the earth, parents to children, brotherto brother, sister to sister.

But here's the good newsthat I know all of you know, Jesus came to seek andsave that which was loss.

And every area of life that suffered loss, which was pretty much every area.

He has given us back his name to have authority and dominion, so that we can reorder things.

There has never been a greater time for people to see loving relationships, there has never been a more important time for us to do this gender thing well.

I believe that houses are the healthiest when it has both the voice of a father and the voice of a mother.

And that together thosetwo can have one heart and speak to the same purpose.

So I wanna talk about some stats that they came out with because again, we just said how amazing women are.

We just said how women are.

Now, so I'm gonna give you some stats that Boston University came out with.

They did a study.

They're like, I'm notsure if it's really true that it's not good for man to be alone.

That's Genesis 2:18.

So they said, let's do this whole study.

Let's spend thousandsand thousands of dollars and let's see if this is true.

And what they discovered was that 80% of the violent crimes committed in the United States of America are actually committedby single men, not good.

They also discoveredthat if a man is single, he will actually, y'all, don't be scared.

He will actually die 10 years earlier than a man who is married.

A married man will outlivehis single brothers by 10 years now.

I don't know why women areacting desperate to get married, because single women and marriedwomen die at the same age.

So you need to stop being desperate.

You need to say, “I don't know who “I'm gonna add 10 years to, I need to think about this.

” They also discovered that if a man was a high school graduateand he got married, the woman added, this is amazing, added to his earning potential, at the same level as a college education.

If he was a college graduate, the woman gave him a Master's.

If he had a Master's, that wife gave him a PhD.

That's crazy amazing.

See, I believe thatmale and female together is a power union.

It's not a power struggle.

Marriage is a power union.

So this is why it's importantthat we celebrate mother's and y'all guys, you'llget your father's In June, but right now we're gonnatalk about the differences in our strength.

So men are really good withsomething called structure.

Now, that doesn't mean womencan't be good with structure.

But it means that men are usuallymore structurally mindset.

For example, I toldyou I raised four boys, I saved every single one of those Legos that my boys when they were little, I put them in Tupperware containers so that I could be thefavorite grandmother.

And my boys when their dad was little, this is before cellphones, that's how old we are.

John would land in the Orlandoairport, call me and say, “baby, I'm on my way home.

” What was he really saying? He was saying Lisa, I knowyou have no concept of time.

I know our children are runningaround in their underwear.

I know you probably haven'ttaken a shower in two days.

You got 45 minutes toget the house cleaned and all of that takencare of, it was a warning.

I'd be like, “Oh, good, I'm so glad to see.

“I can't wait to see you.

” Hang up the phone, boys, ohmy gosh, dad's on his way.

Everybody would go into high alert.

I'd brush my teeth, everything was happening.

But my boys were super excitedabout making their dad proud.

Every young man has two goals in life.

He wants to make his dad proud and he wants to beat him at sports.

Those are the two major goalsthat they will shoot for.

And so my boys were toosmall to beat John in sports, so they would build these Lego towers and it was all about howtall the tower could go.

And when John would come home, he would look at the towers.

And he would be like, “wow, I really liked this tower.

” And then the boys would say, “dad watch.

” They get a car out of the toy box, back it up and crush into the Lego tower.

It was always about a bigbuild, and a big crash.

One time, and it was only one time, I was allowed to babysitmy friend's daughter.

And when I put her onthe floor with Legos, she didn't build towers.

She built rooms, andshe created these rooms with beds and chairs and tables.

And she actually got out Lego people.

My boys were okay with drivingcars without people in it.

But she got out a guyLego, and a girl Lego, and she had them holding hands.

I remember my boys being horrified.

They're like, “What isshe doing with our Lego? “Why is a girl playing right now?” And I think she knew shehad some kind of power.

So she had the guy Legoand the girl Lego kiss.

And when that happened, my boys are like, now we're going to haveto burn those Legos.

I want you to know, this little girl at four or five years of age, was exemplifying somethingthat women are really good at, and that is nurture.

Men have structure and womenhave something called nurture.

Nurture is the abilityto make connections.

Nurture is the abilityto protect relationships.

Nurture is the abilityto create an environment for the young or at risk to flourish.

And when we talk about the church, I know that pastor Matt, and pastor Tammy wanna celebrate that themen have been amazing at providing structure andleadership and guidance, but to cultivate women you have created this amazingenvironment of nurture, that has made this church notjust big, but made it safe.

It is built in a differentway when it's just women, or just men, but together, Sandals Church has representedwhat God always meant to be very good.

Another thing is the man guards the house, but the woman guards the heart.

Maybe you think, “No, that's not important.

” Listen to me, there isno more noble commission than guarding the heart of your children, guarding the heart of your husband, guarding the heart ofyour house of worship, guarding the heart of your city, guarding the heart.

Think about right now, how many people needguardians of the heart? They are looking for people who are safe, where they can share their fears, their worries, their concerns.

And I believe that you arenoble guardians of the heart.

And if anybody ever tried to strip the value of thatcontribution from you, I'm just gonna tell you.

My favorite thing I'veever done in my life is be a mother.

It's not standing on stages.

It's not writing books.

It's being a mother.

I want you to know, youare not just a mother, you are a hero.

You are a woman of virtue, which means a force for good.

You are a woman of valor, which means courageous.

Being a mother is beinga warrior for life.

Somebody who whispers prayers and goes right intothe throne room of God.

Also, being a mother means you give out, and you give out, and you give out.

This is your pause.

This is your day.

This is your permission to receive, because you have every right to come into the presence of your father.

Because long before you became a mother, you were first and foremost, his daughter.

– And that is why I love Lisa Bevere.

She's just a woman of Godwho has not only wisdom, but experience and I just think there were so many goodthings for us to talk about.

What were some of thetakeaways for you, Matt? – The number one takeaway andI hope you did not miss this.

And just so you know, whenI listen to a speaker, I'm listening for that nugget of wisdom, and I thought the thingthat was the most amazing whether you're marriedor single, young or old, is my question to you is what's the yoke that you're wearing? So a yoke is a piece ofequipment you put on an animal so that it can pull something.

So it's, it's pulling youback, it's holding you back.

What's the yoke that you're pulling that's a mantle to your spouse? And so for Tammy and I, early on, we really struggled with finances.

And so Tammy paid the bills.

And let me just tell you, she would pay the bills, come out it's the end of theworld, we're all gonna die.

And it was hell to pay foreveryone about everything for at least a couple ofhours after we paid the bills, and we fought about who can pay the bills and the big issue was, and rightfully so, you didn't trust me with the finances.

And we went to counseling overwho gets to pay the bills.

We paid money to someone, a third party, to teach us how to pay bills.

But Tammy just share sharewith just our church, how that that helped you and changed you as you allowed me andI made some mistakes.

I mean, I missed some billsearly on because I was a boy and part of the reason I was a boy is you kind of were my mom.

And so there was there was some changing that had to happen there but tell tell us, Sandals family, what that did for you, when you let me take that onand it was a yoke for you, but it was a mantle for me.

Carrying the weight of our finances, being the only eyes on them.

You know, back in that day, we're like doing checksand balancing a checkbook.

There was no not even like online.

– And there was no for margin.

– And we were starting off.

It was such a hard time but the truth is I didn't trust Matt in that time.

I thought I do this.

I'm the one that's more responsible and that's one of the thingsthat was such a standout to me.

I was convicted and also so glad to not be in that place anymore.

I mothered you and I didn'ttreat you like my husband, when she talks to that point.

It's so good about justwives, treating your spouse like I said.

The truth is I didn't trust you.

We were young.

That's how you start off in marriage.

I didn't let you grow up.

And as soon as I'm so stressedand nervous every month, and Matt said, we'll all do the bills.

Little did either of us know, you're actually brilliantwith finances and numbers.

And he took it on and it was like, I would be stressed forthe whole week following, you know, bill time, and you're just like, done and immediately, like, moves it over to a better system.

And I was so relieved.

And that was one of such a hugegrowth part in our marriage, because we became partners instead of new mothering you and the more that Imothered you in that way, the more you behaved irresponsibly.

And as soon as whatwas such a burden to me was given to you, you rose to the occasion and it was a blessing to andyou grew up in that ways.

And when you grew up, we grewup together in a new way.

So I loved her point about, wives just don't treat your husband like you're their mother.

And here's the thing as wives, we get so frustrated when we do that.

But actually, the more we do it, the more it plays off of each other.

So it's like we createour own situation in that, and it happens innocently.

I know it takes intentionalityto get out of it.

But that was such a good word, I think for anybody who's married.

And here's the thing, when you and I werelistening to this message we were thinking about, what about the peoplein here who aren't moms or aren't married, and I thought, man, I wish I would have had that wisdom before we were married.

When I was a young girlthinking about my future, thinking about who I wanted to be.

And so I think if you're not married, and you're a young woman right now, I think that word fromLisa is so good for you to tuck away for whenit really matters about, you're not looking forsomeone else to mother, you're looking for someoneto be a partner with.

– We talked about somethingTammy needed to release.

Well, let me tell yousomething I needed to release.

And guys, listen to me.

It's so important that you, as the spiritual leader, don't give your input on everything.

And one of the areas we foughton was how the house looked.

I thought I had to have input, right? Because I'm at least 50%, right? And at the end of the dayI don't care how it looks.

I just care that it lookslike she's married to a man, that's all I care about isthat people walk in and go, “Okay, this is a traditionalheterosexual marriage.

” And she's married to a man.

And and once we got that, she comes to me and I said, you're better at this than me.

I stress about it.

I worry about it.

And I just trust her with that.

And over time, we figured out our finances and we will be yoked together.

But that happens when you sayTammy's good at these things, I'm good at this.

– Key word in this is over time.

It's something you grow into, that's good.

– And another thing, just really understand each other's strengths as strengths and weaknesses as notsins, but weaknesses.

I tend to be very forwardthinking and visionary, I miss out on the present and family.

Tammy is sometimes way toofocused in the here and now and can't see, you know, down the street.

And so we have to learn, okay, I need Tammy.

Because her strength, her mantle is family, what's important.

Tammy needs to learn thatmy mantle is the future and where we're going.

And so we've learnedto work that together.

So I just really wantyou, that was a nugget.

Man, if you missed it, God's grace, that was one of the most powerful things I've heard just dropped in a kitchen.

And here's why? 'Cause she said it was the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit spoke to her, just like the Holy Spiritwants to speak to you.

And there are somethings that you're doing that the Holy Spirit's going, why are you doing this? – My heart when I was listeningto the message was for, it's Mother's Day weekend.

Lisa's clearly talkingabout herself as a mother and two mothers, which it's not lost on us that there's a room.

I mean, like a virtual room, the room everyone sittingin is not just mothers.

And so I'm thinking okay, well, what what is this for them? And for everybody out therewho maybe you wanna be a mom and that's not been your story, and you haven't been able to have a baby, your kids are grown, whatever that looks likefor everyone else watching.

Here's what I would say, is some of the mostsignificant people in my life have been women who are not my mom.

My mom is wonderful, she's significant.

I'm not saying that but I'm saying we all have a way to contribute as women, like Lisa gave such good stats about the value of women in our world and not to replace men or out do man men but just the value that we bring.

And so to every woman out there, whether you're a mom or not, here's what I wanna say to you.

If you're not a mom yet, let this be a word to you about the mom you you want to be, learn from that wisdom that Lisa gave.

And then if you're ifyou're not able to be a mom, that's not that's just not your choice or the choice for you.

Who in your life can you be investing in? Lisa has been one person but I've had other women inmy life older than me say, let me love on you in this way.

Let me invest.

We've both had, we've hadmen and women, Grandpa Jack, who's who's been that figurein our life in different ways.

So none none of us are exempt from being someone significant and strong in the life of someone else.

And then I think, what wouldyou say to all of this? So I'm speaking to moms, whomaybe aren't actual moms, but to all the men in the room or the kids in the roomor the teens in the room, what would your word forthem be to their actual mom? Because if we're notmom, we all have a mom.

– What I would say isyou need to take this day to honor your mom, and you say why? It's just a holiday hallmark invented.

Well, actually the 10commandments invented it.

And it says, honor your mother and father.

The apostle Paul says, it's the first commandment with a promise that things will go for well for you, if you honor mom and dad, so think about some things that you could honor your mom for.

And I realize it's difficult to do under these times and circumstances, but you need to do that.

And then let me speak to the single women.

Some of you're like, I'mnot a mom, I'm single, that this message completelydidn't speak to me, and that's because you didn't listen.

One of the things I wantedyou to hear as a single woman, is how much value you add to a man.

And Lisa kind of ranthrough that rather quickly.

But a woman, adds valueto a man's income ability, adds value to to who he is and how he sees himself.

– Years to his life.

– 10 years to his life, right? Which is amazing, because Ithought you'd kill me but, you know, we're kidding a little bit.

I just want you to hearme, you have value.

And now if you're asingle man in our church, what are you doing? What are you doing? Do you wanna die quicker, make less money and be dumber? We keep playing video games.

Get off the video games, finda good woman in our church, settle down, live longer, make more money, be happier and be smarter.

That's what she said, and you guys just need to do that.

And here's the thing isa lot of you are looking for Mr.

or Mrs.

Perfect.

And here's the thing thatI realized about Tammy after about 10 years of somegood you know, fighting, right? I realized that a lot of the things that drove me crazy about her, I don't mean crazy like, I love you.

I mean crazy, like I need away from you.

Social distancing instantly.

– Before it was a thing.

We had it figured out.

– I realized that a lot of the things that drove me crazy about Tammy were the things I needed the most.

I needed to hear these truths.

I needed to have these spoken to me.

And really at the end of the day, here's what I hated about Tammy, it was her strength.

What sin is that? And it was her strengthand her unwillingness to relinquish and say that's okay because there were thingsabout me that weren't okay.

Things relationally, things leadership wise, things as a husband, and a lot of the times the things that you guys are nitpicking on, you just you need to hear that.

And say, okay, Tammy loves me.

And here's some things I'm doing that are really frightening her and making her feel insecure.

So I need to listen to that.

And, oftentimes I'll seesingles in our church, we're just friends.

You guys are husband and wifeand you don't even know it.

Everybody else can see it.

And listen to me singles, some of you are so caught up, looking for your idealpicture of what you think a wife would look like.

And that wife is right next to you, and that husband is right next to you and God's already put them there.

And singles, you don'thave to get married.

God loves you.

Jesus was single, Jeremiah was single.

You don't have to bemarried or to have children to fulfill God's will.

Jesus didn't do that and he fulfilled God's willbetter than anything else.

But I think it's importantthat you heard that, that men and women are acomplement to each other.

And when a husband andwife operate in unity, great things happen.

And a lot of us don't think about this.

She talked a lot about Genesis and some of you've never readGenesis, go back and read it.

And she talked about who Adam was, but there was something missing.

And so God's plan was to create a helper and then I want you togo and look at Genesis 3, and look at the breakdown.

So God tells Adam he hasauthority over every animal.

You know what that means.

The only reason thesnake was in the garden is because Adam let him in.

So Adam lets the snake in the garden, Eve listens to the snake.

And that's how we fall together.

When men failed to lead.

and women listen to other voices and other things that are saying is that what God really said? So God whispers to women, you're not good enough.

You're not right, you're not a good mom.

And men fall asleep at the spiritual helm.

Because they let the snakecome into the garden.

Adam had all authorityover every animal, read it.

Even though the snake was crafty, Adam, he could have said be gone.

But instead he just sat there and watched his wife have a conversation with something he knew hadno business in the garden.

And so I want you to thinkabout that as a couple.

What are some thingsthat you've let slither into your home, into your lifethat has no business there? And you too as a coupleneed to say you know what, this Mother's Day we needto get our family right.

We need to do this.

And I just love Lisa, and let me read it right.

Let boys be boys, right? Boys are boys.

You know Tammy was so cute.

We had two girls, Barbie dolls.

What were those littlethings they played with? Polly pockets.

Our house is full of Polly Pockets, right? When I went to Toys R Us when there was a thing called Toys R Us.

We went to the pink aisle, with pink everything and there with no GI Joe's, no Star Wars.

It was pink everything.

So we have our ever son and Tammy says we're not gonna have gunsin the house, no guns.

My son took a coat hanger off the rack and pointed at Tammy and shot her with it.

She goes, that's just him.

It's just him.

And just know that God's made boys boys and God's made girls girls, and we need to honor that and we're better togetherand we need them.

– And that's what I would sayis women text me all the time.

How do I get my husband to act like a man? And I think that's the word Lisa had is treat him like one.

Stop treating me like a boy, give some wiggle room for the readjustment but let him be a man inyour home and support that and when it gets itright make a deal of it.

And for everybody who's nothas been in life not married, not having kids this weekend, this is such a great time for you to be looking and trackingwith where you wanna go.

– And I would also say thisto our younger audience at Sandals Church.

Our daughters complain alot, they're both dating, and they compare their 21 year old and 25 year old boyfriendsto their 48 year old dad.

And I just have to tell my girls, I haven't always been 48.

And I became 48, and Ibecame the man I am today because Tammy loved methrough my stupidity, and stood by me through some mistakes, and I made some mistakes.

But oftentimes, the best waymen lead is by blowing it and having to come back and say, you know what, I waswrong, and you are right, and I should have listened.

And at the end of theday, men and women, man, it's not about submitting to each other.

What comes before that? We submit to Christ.

We submit to Him first, and we trust Him and we trust God knows to what's best.

So I just wanna close bysaying thank you so much for everybody who gives.

Thank you for letting me have a week off.

We're so grateful.

This was a crazy week andthank you Lisa for filling in.

I'll be back next weekend.

I wanna close withsomething really special.

And I want you to know, for those of you who give I can't believe that you are giving.

In the midst of uncertainty, Sandals has been able to pay our bills, we haven't had to lay anybody off and that's because ofyou and your generosity.

And because you're giving, because you trust God, we have reached on the internet, three million separate views.

I want that just to sinkin, three million people have heard the gospel, heard our vision, been introduced to Sandalschurch because you give.

Because without margin, withoutmoney, there is no ministry.

It does not happen.

And so I just wanna say thank you so much.

And get this, so threemillion views, 79 countries.

79 countries around the world.

Who thought a little church inour little home in Riverside, 79 countries around theworld are tuning in? And that's only possible because you give.

So I wanna close by sayingthank you for what you give.

And I want you to listen to this video.

It's Mother's Day.

And this video, so you can just call in and leave us messages we listen to them, and from time to time we post them.

But this is from a womanwho runs a woman shelter for women who are escapingabusive relationships and they have kids.

And she sent this in and just told us she was so thankful for theministry that you provide, because she was able to lead, listen to this listen.

She was able to lead mothers who are coming from abusive situations, she was able to lead theirchildren to Jesus Christ because of the Ministry of Sandals Church.

So I just wanna say thank you.

Thank you for giving, because you gave these little kids thatyou're gonna hear about, this is a real phone call.

It's always like thosethose car commercials.

These are not actors, these are real people.

This is not an actor.

It's a real person who called in and she's just saying thank you so much for what you do SandalsChurch, and how you give because she was able toshare Christ with these kids who are escaping such horriblecircumstances here on Earth.

They know they have a father in heaven.

And they know that thereare women that love them and share the gospel with them.

So thank you so much Sandals church.

So listen to this andI'll see you next week.

As we start our new series called elevate.

You don't want to miss it, because I believe God can lift you out of whatever you're going through right now because of who He is and not because of your circumstances.

So thank you so much, guys.

We love you so much.

Thank you, Lisa Bevere, God bless guys.

– [Kelly] Hi, my name is Kelly and I manage a localshelter here in Riverside for women and children who are fleeing from domestic violence.

And we actually bring our shelter to worship with SandalsChurch every Sunday and many of our moms continueto attend Sandals Church even after the time with us is done which is usually about six months.

When I saw that we'reobserving the Lord's Supper, it allowed me the opportunity to have a group chat withthe small kiddos in the house because we're I'll be watching the service together as a family.

Well, the conversationabout the Lord's Supper naturally opened up the floor for me to offer a time for the children to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

And I'm so thrilled to share that three, three of my shelter kiddos prayed to receive Christ thisGood Friday morning.

Thank you so much Sandals Church for providing opportunitiesfor God to be glorified, no matter how near or far.

It's just a simple reminder that despite this Coronavirusand this quarantine, God is sovereign and he'sstill sitting on his throne.

God bless and thank you so much.

♪ The Lord bless you ♪ ♪ And keep you ♪ ♪ Make His face shine upon you ♪ ♪ And be gracious to you ♪ ♪ The Lord turn His ♪ ♪ Face toward you ♪ ♪ And give you peace ♪ ♪ The Lord bless you ♪ ♪ And keep you ♪ ♪ Make His face shine upon you ♪ ♪ And be gracious to you ♪ ♪ The Lord turn His ♪ ♪ Face toward you ♪ ♪ And give you peace ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ Your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His presence go before you ♪ ♪ And behind you, and beside you ♪ ♪ All around you, and within you ♪ ♪ He is with you, He is with you ♪ ♪ In the morning, in the evening ♪ ♪ In your coming, and your going ♪ ♪ In your weeping, and rejoicing ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His presence go before you ♪ ♪ And behind you, and beside you ♪ ♪ All around you, and within you ♪ ♪ He is with you, He is with you ♪ ♪ In the morning, in the evening ♪ ♪ In your coming, and your going ♪ ♪ In your weeping, and rejoicing ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ – So here's what you can know today that no matter who youare, what your story is, or what circumstance you find yourself in, God's presence is withyou, surrounding you, that He's fighting your battles, that he loves you and cares for you.

And that is also true forus here at Sandals Church.

If you need prayer, orsupport, encouragement or care, please reach out and let us know.

If you go to sandalschurch.

com/help.

One of our ministers willreach out and connect with you and help you face whatever itis you may be going through.

We're so grateful thatyou joined us this weekend and I wanna invite youto come back next weekend as we launch a brand new series with our lead pastor Matt Brown on how to elevate your spiritual, mental and emotionalhealth during this time.

You're gonna wanna be thereand you wanna invite a friend.

We can't wait to see you there.

Love you guys.

See you next week.

.