– Welcome to Sandals Church.
My name is Melody Workman, and I'm so glad that you are joining us.
Thanks for inviting us into your home.
I wanna say Happy Mother's Day weekend to all of the mothers and grandmothers who are watching today.
Thank you for all that you do.
We celebrate who you are, and just what you mean toeach and every one of us.
And while I know some of youare celebrating this weekend, we also know that for some of you, this is a hard time because you have a deepdesire to become a mom and that just hasn't happened for you.
And at Sandals Church, our vision is all aboutbeing real with ourselves, God and others, and that means we celebrate with thosewho are celebrating and we grieve with those who are grieving.
We want you to know that God sees you and knows you and loves you.
And if you're joining us thisweekend for the first time, we would love to hear from you.
If you go to move.
Let us know who you are andwhere you're joining us from, we would love to connect with you.
In this unpredictable crazytime we're all living in, one of the things that I'mpersonally so grateful for is that every single weekendand throughout the week, Sandals Church has continued to be able to come into your homeand provide programming for all of your family.
And that is only madepossible by those of you who give to the missionthat God is put us on to reach the world with this message of hope and authenticity.
So if you give, let us say thank you.
We're so grateful for that.
And if you wanna join the movement, please go to give.
sc to be a part of what God is doing here.
In just a few moments, we're gonna hear from ourlead pastor Matt Brown and a special guest.
But before we do, we're gonnasing some songs together and worship God.
And while that may feelawkward in your living room, we wanna let you know thatworship isn't about where we are, it's about who God is.
And that as you're singing in your space, there are literally thousands of people singing along with you across the street, across the neighborhood, and even across the world.
So let's together, raise our voices and give God the worshipthat he's so worthy of.
We're so glad that you're with us.
– With so much isolation and separation, something that we can alldo together is to sing and to remind ourselves of the hope that we have in Jesus Christ alone.
So wherever we find ourselves, let's sing of who God has been so we can trust Him tobe that same big God to get us through the season to get us to the other side to be with us every single day.
Let's sing these words out to him.
♪ Come let us worship our King ♪ ♪ Come let us bow at His feet ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ See what our Savior has done ♪ ♪ See how His love overcomes ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ Sing about His faithfulness together.
♪ You've been faithfulthrough every storm ♪ ♪ You'll be faithful forevermore ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ We trust this to be true, I know.
♪ And I know You will do it again ♪ Yes, You will.
♪ For Your promise is yes and amen ♪ ♪ You will do great things ♪ ♪ God, You do great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, You have done great things ♪ So we sing our songs to Him, Him alone.
♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, You have done great things ♪ ♪ You've done great things ♪ ♪ Oh, hero of Heaven, You conquered the grave ♪ ♪ You free every captiveand break every chain ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in Yourfreedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, Your name lifted high ♪ ♪ Oh God, You have done great things ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ ♪ Oh God, You do great things ♪ You are strong and mighty God.
– Our God is faithful andHe is true to His promises.
And in response, we worshipHim and we glorify Him.
So I invite you to singthe song out with us and think of all that He'sdone and all that He will do.
Let's sing it together.
♪ I give You glory ♪ ♪ For all You've brought me through ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready ♪ ♪ For whatever You wanna do ♪ ♪ I'm moving forward ♪ ♪ To follow after You ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready ♪ ♪ For whatever You wanna do ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ In every season ♪ ♪ Your grace has been enough ♪ ♪ And I'm believing ♪ ♪ The best is yet to come ♪ ♪ The cross before me ♪ ♪ My hope on things above ♪ ♪ And in You, Jesus ♪ ♪ The best is yet to come ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ The bible says, “The Lordhimself goes before you “and will be with you; “he will never leave you nor forsake you.
“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
” Let us believe that truth and with confidencesing this out together.
♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ My God made me a promise ♪ ♪ And it won't stop now ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want You, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now, Lord ♪ ♪ Like never before ♪ God we thank you for your presence, we worship You, we love You, amen.
– Hey Sandals Church, Happy Mother's Day, man.
We are so excited for you.
I know that Mother's Dayis gonna be very different than you want it to be.
But it can still beawesome if we let God into and so I'm so glad thatyou were here today.
I'm being joined by themother of my children, my wife, Tammy Brown, say hello.
– Hey, everybody.
– Super glad you guys are here.
A couple of years ago, Tammyand I, we made a friend.
Her name is Lisa Bevere andshe has so blessed our life and we asked Lisa tobless your life today.
And so you are in for a special treat.
You wanna just talk about how Lisa has just impacted you.
– I saw Lisa almost a decade ago now and she immediately spoke into my life, spoke to my heart as awoman, added value to me in a way that no one had up to that point.
She's someone that we both respect.
We've seen her publicly andexperienced her privately and she is the real deal.
As you know, we loveyou guys Sandals Church, and it's important to us the voice that we putin front of you guys.
So we're just so excited aboutthe message that she has.
It's Mother's Day weekend.
Lisa has been a spiritual mother to me and so we're honored that sheis gonna be with us today.
– And in the message shepromoted you to co-pastor.
So what I was thinking because Tammy didn't shy away at all from Lisa calling her co pastor.
And said, “Hey Tammy, you can have “the meeting with the governor this week.
” So, just enjoy it.
– Thank you, Lisa, but I will leave that to Matt.
– She's like, “But no thank you, “I don't wanna take the meeting either.
” Listen, we love you Sandals Church.
Here's what we're gonna do, we want you to listen to her.
She's gonna talk to you fromher kitchen from Colorado, and Tammy and I both alreadylistened to the message.
And what we wanna dois we wanna talk to you about what we got out of it.
So if you're a man, don't tune out.
If you're single, don't tune out.
If you're not a mom, don't tune out because there's some realamazing spiritual nuggets that we wanna bring out andtalk about with you at the end, because some of the things Lisasaid, just as always, right? Lisa just blows me away with what so easilycomes out of her mouth.
I'm like, “Oh, my gosh, where did you come that from? “Where did you get that from?” But it's literally shejust hears from God, and this is something we've never done, but you know what? We're living in times we'venever lived in before, and I was tired of listening to myself.
So I asked Lisa, I said, “Look, man, it's Mother's Day weekend, “we got a lot of moms who are struggling, “maintaining their sanity, “trying to figure out how to live.
” And I thought what a betteropportunity for our church to hear from our mom, somebody whose been aspiritual mom to Tammy and just a female voiceof wisdom in my life.
We love Lisa and she's blessed us and I know she's gonna bless you.
So give her the next 30 minutes and then Tammy and I are gonna come back and we're gonna talk about some things that maybe you missed but needed to hear.
(upbeat music) – Hey, Happy Mother's Day.
I cannot even tell you how excited I am to be spending my mother's day with my Sandals Church family.
Now I know a lot of you are saying, wait, we've never seen you before.
That would be all the men because I have had threetimes opportunities to gather with your women, fell in love with them.
I am all about cultivating kindness.
And I am so incredibly honoredthat pastor Matt and Tammy would ask me to bring amother day message to you.
Okay, so here's the exciting thing.
You are in my kitchen.
I know that some of youare watching me online, you're in sweatpants, you're totally relaxed, you're not in a building, but I'm going to pretend like you and I are sitting across thetable from one another.
And since I am meeting some ofyou for the very first time, I'm going to actually putup a picture of my family.
So in front of you, you're going to see that I have one son sitting with a dog.
That is my single son, his name is Alexander.
I would really love it if he could get marriedby the end of the year, because I have grandparent greed.
You're also going to seethat I have four grandkids.
I have imported a daughterin law from Texas, a daughter in law from Alabama, a daughter in law from Seattle, so the Washington State area.
I would love to import, we do not export, import another daughterin law from California.
So just be thinking aboutthat mama's out there.
Everything has changed.
We're in unprecedented times.
I'd love to help you.
I'd love to help you gofrom mother to grandmother.
But I wanna talk to youabout this incredible day that we set aside to honormothers, Mother's Day.
Now, it was just like, Oh mygosh, mothers you're amazing.
Well, now we know mothersare way more than amazing.
I hate when I hear mothersuse the disclaimer of, I'm just a stay at home mother.
Everybody's finding out now that a just stay at home mothermeans pretty much everything.
You are now educators, you are working from home, you have no buffer of school, you are doing things thatyou did not even know you could do six weeksago, seven weeks ago, and I wanna celebrate you.
I wanna also singleout the single mothers, you guys are heroes.
I have no idea how you aredoing everything that you do.
And then the women who are married to men who are deployed in themilitary, you also are my heroes.
And then some of you inaddition to being mothers and taking care of your own family, you're first responders, you are out on the front line and you are fighting this virus, and so I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being a mother, there has never been a more important time to celebrate mothers and remember the why behind being a mother.
And when I was looking atwhat I was gonna talk about, I want you to know, I havebeen married for 38 years.
That means I have made somany horrible mistakes.
I have done a lot ofthings right by accident and a lot of things wrong on purpose.
I don't know if I told youthis, but I'm not just a mother, I am a Sicilian mother, which is a little differentthan an Italian mother.
They were all feeders.
So that's why I lovehaving you in my kitchen.
But Sicilians, we have alittle bit more of a challenge than some Italians might have.
And so I brought a lot of intensity and a lot of really the wrong ideas about what it meant to be a mother and I made all of the mistakes for you.
So I am going to share with you what I wish I would have known back then.
And to that end, there is a photo that I'm going to share with you.
And in this photo, I am 34 years of age.
I am, you're gonna see, sitting next to my husband who looks really cute and handsome.
I look super stressed.
I'm barely smiling.
I have three little boys.
You know I have four in real life, was about ready to getpregnant with my fourth.
I had just survived anairplane ride from hell.
John had taken us all on amissions trip to Indonesia.
And for some reason on theleg from Guam to Hawaii, my son Austin, releasedthe air masks in the row.
And he was sitting behind me, I had just fallen asleep, it was a really long flight when the flight attendantshakes me and is like, “Are those your children behind you?” And I just wanted tolie, I wanted to say no, I don't know those children.
I have no idea whose children.
They're like, “he justreleased all those air masks.
” You know, the ones you'resupposed to put on first before you put it on somebody else.
And he said, “You know what, you're lucky, “because this is a full flightand we're closer to Hawaii.
“Because if we were closer to Guam, “it would be your faultthat we have to go back.
” So I didn't sleep at all.
I remember we had thislittle layover in Hawaii.
We were staying at a ghettohotel and we ran away and we're walking on the grounds of this magnificentHilton Hawaiian village and somebody offered to take a photo.
And I remember at the timethinking, I don't want a photo.
I look terrible, my bangs are going crazy.
I don't want a photo of myself.
But I'm so glad that theyactually took that photo, because I remember that moment and I wish I could takethat 34 year old Lisa aside, put my arm around her and saywe're gonna go for a walk.
First thing I would tell her is what I hope you're gonna hear.
I would have said, baby girl, you're doing a better jobthan you know you're doing.
You've got a list that every single night, you accumulate everythingyou think you've done wrong, everything you think youcould have done better.
And you hold yourself upevery single night hostage to the failures of your day.
I would say girl, youneed to tear up that list because you're nevergoing to do it perfectly.
Instead of having a listof what you did wrong, I would empower Lisa to havea list of what she did right.
You know, God is alwaysabout growth, not guilt.
Mamas, you need to tear up the list, you need to look at your day.
Maybe it's just, I took a shower.
Maybe it's just nobody bled today.
Maybe it's just, I didn't yell.
Maybe it just we laughedand enjoyed one another.
Which would bring me to the second thing I would say to Lisa.
I would say, “Lisa, you'reso busy surviving your days, “that you're not enjoying them.
” I was so busy tri-folding the underwear.
I was so busy taking a toothbrushto the grout to bleach it.
I was so busy that didn'thave time to enjoy my husband, or enjoy my children.
Hey, mamas, I give youfull permission to engage and to enjoy.
You do not have tosacrifice every single day the things that actually God created to have refreshing in your life.
And my boys don'tremember that I tri-folded their underwear.
They don't rememberhow clean the house was when they were young.
What they do remember is thetimes that I played with them, the times that I laugh with them, the times that I talk to them, the times I said, “okay, I'm just going to sit down, “and I'm just going tolet the other stuff go.
” So I'm gonna give youpermission to stop tri-folding the underwear, stop tryingto make everything perfect.
Enjoy your family, enjoy your family.
You know, somebody asked my third son, who was pictured in the striped overalls.
They said, “hey, how come allfour of you boys, love God, “love your parents and areserving in some capacity “in the ministry?” And he said, “Can I getback with you on that?” And he took some timeand he thought about it and he came back and he told him, “My parents played cards withus, and they spanked us.
” Now, I'm not saying youhave to spank your kids, but what he was saying was wedisciplined and we engaged, we ate dinner.
Everything happened atthe table in our house and when dinner was over, my boys cleaned the kitchen.
I didn't clean the kitchen.
I made the mess in thekitchen, I did all the cooking.
Your children areprobably way more capable of doing things around the house, than you know that theyare capable of doing.
So I'm gonna give youpermission to assign chores, I hope your kids aren't saying, “I don't like this woman, “I you need to turn her off right now.
” When the family does things together, then there's more time for fun together.
So you need to startletting yourself enjoy instead of being mad at your husband that he's playing with the kids while you're working in the kitchen.
You get everybody else back in the kitchen so you can join in on the fun.
Another thing I would say, you guys, I turn 60 next month, I'm turning 60.
I can't even believe that, that's just crazy to me.
But I would tell my 34 year old self, “girl, you to enjoy that body.
“That is the best body youare ever going to have, “you need to enjoy that body.
” Stop criticizing it.
Stop being hard on yourself.
If you want to be strong, be strong, but stop trying to be skinny.
Get strength, rather than befaint and weak and dieting.
Take care of yourself.
Neglecting yourself, that's not godly.
Neglecting yourself is notthe same as denying yourself, denying yourself is about when you say, God, you're enough I'm gonna follow you but neglecting yourself is when you don't take care ofsomething that He has given you.
Enjoy that body.
And you know if you ifyou wanna ask anybody if what I'm saying is true, you just call one of the older women and they will say, “Iwish I would have liked “my body better when I was younger.
” Because, hey, hitting 60, I feel like I've gotsome betrayal going on.
Next thing is, you needto enjoy your husband.
You need to enjoy your husband.
The Bible says the older women, that's me, are to teach and train the younger women, how to love their husbandsand train their children.
But our culture reallyactually tells you, no, no, no.
Train your husband, and love your children.
I'm gonna tell you, you don'twant to get that backwards.
It will not go well with you.
Train your children.
It's easy to love your kids, but you've gonna be trainedto love your husband.
And I'm not picking on themen, but it's just easier.
It's just easier to love cute little kids.
Now, I'm gonna tell you something else that I wish I would have known.
I actually learned this lesson before this particular picture.
And that was I am notresponsible for John? No, seriously, I know thatsounds like what are you saying? I don't know why.
But I didn't just feel like Iwas a mother to my children.
I felt like I was themother of my husband.
Now, that brought a wholelot more pressure on me than being the mother of my kids.
You know, when John andI were first married, we had our very first son Addison, and we were married for four years, I was working full timeas a television producer.
And John was working part time.
He was working part time at a ministry, I had all the benefits, I was making more money.
And I found myself sostressed out, so stressed out.
And so I remember trying to relax, relaxation was a crazy thing.
And so I would take baths at night and sometimes I would submerge myself where just my nose was above the water.
And John would come inand look at me and say, “What are you doing?” And I'd say, “I'm trying torelax, I'm trying to relax.
” And he'd say, “you knowwhat, you just need to break “and give these things to God.
” And I'd say, “you know what? “I don't wanna break and give them to God, “I wanna give them to you.
” And because you are notcarrying these things, I've gonna carry all ofthese things for you.
And then there was this moment.
I was in the shower one night, and we had bought a shower massage.
I'm trying to get my soldiers to go down.
I'm so stressed out.
I'm working full time.
I'm breastfeeding a child.
I'm making all the food organic.
John's working part time.
He's just kind of laying in the sun.
I'm like, I wanna hit him.
And I heard God say to me, you don't think John is a verygood head of the household, do you? I said, “I don't.
” He said, “You think you can do it better?” I said, “I know I can do it better.
” And then the Spirit of God said, “Lisa, John likes you doing everything.
” He said, “it's a yoke to you.
“But it's a mantle to John, throw it off your shoulders.
” I said, “God, this man can't even remember “to take out the garbage.
“Do you understand that ifI surrender all of this, “there is going to be diaperspiled up to the ceiling.
” And in that moment, God began to replay the way that I wasinteracting with my husband.
And he said, “Lisa, allthat John has ever known “is a mother and that is whyhe acts like a little boy.
” He said, “you are going to have to learn “how to stop being his motherand start being his wife.
” Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wisewoman builds her house.
” But I didn't know how to build.
And so I remember that was aturning point where I said, “Hey, maybe I'll just quit my job.
” I don't know what we need to do.
But you know what, John, I'm not gonna think I'm the source anymore, and I am not going tobe your mother anymore.
And I watched my husbandgo from a boy to a man when I stopped being his mother, and started to be his co labor.
Now, I hope you don't feellike I'm correcting you when I'm saying that becausemaybe some of you are like, that woman is crazy.
I would never try tobe my husband's mother.
But for the two people thatmight have felt that way, you might have some Italian in you and you approach the same way as me.
I just want you to know you don't have to mother your husband.
You can go from mother, backto lover, just enjoy him.
And you guys can have conversations about building insteadof speaking in situations where you feel like you have to constantly change one another.
So we are going to train ourchildren and love our husbands, because that is way more fun than having those things flipped around.
So now, let's talk abouthow amazing women are.
See, I believe that God created woman as the answer to the very first problem.
See, long before there wasa fall there was a problem.
You think wait, didn't all theproblems start with the fall? No, the Book of Genesis saysthat there was a problem and that problem was it isnot good for man to be alone.
Now, it didn't say that men aren't good, it said the man alone, that's not good.
God treated woman as the answerto the very first problem.
I believe that women are multipliers of every thing they come in contact with.
When you look at the DNA ofa man, he is an X and a Y.
But you look at the DNAof a woman, and she is XX, she has this capacity to multiply.
And I'm gonna to Genesis chapter one, I'm gonna read it out of the ESV and I'm going to read 1: 27-31, it says, “So God createdman in his own image, “in the image of God he created him; “male and female he created them.
” Now let's think about this.
Eve was always in Adam, it was God who said, you know what? This earth needs her voice.
This earth needs her ability to multiply.
This earth needs to be hearing the things that a womanbrings to the equation, that multiplication.
And then it says, “And God bless them.
“He blessed them.
” What does that even mean? He blessed them.
It means that God, releasesomething intangible, to make everything tangiblein their life, come together.
And God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, “fill the earth, subdue it, “have dominion over the fish of the sea, “over the birds of the heavens, “over every living thingthat moves on the earth.
“and God said, “Behold, Ihave given you every plant “yielding seed that ison the face of the earth “and every tree was seed and its fruit.
“you shall have them for your food “and every beast of the earth, “and to every bird of the heavens “and to everything thatcreeps on the earth, “everything that has the breath of life, “I have given every green plant for food.
” “And it was so.
“And God saw everything that he had made, “and behold, it was very good.
” Now one of the paraphrases, the message paraphrase said, It was so good, so very good.
What does this tell us? This tells us that healthy God blessedrelationships prosper.
They take responsibility, they multiply.
They exercise something called dominion, and dominion is when I usethe authority on my life to lift others.
It is when I say, okay, I havea god given gift on my life, how can I use that giftto lift other people, God gives dominion to the man and he gives dominion to the woman, he does not give themdominion over each other, he gives them co dominion over the earth, and he says, cause it to befruitful, cause it to increase.
But you know, there wassomething called the fall, and the fall messed up allthese areas of increase, and now all the sudden, you see a breakdown between mankind and their heavenly creator.
Then you see a breakdown, man to woman.
Then you see a breakdownpeople to the earth, parents to children, brotherto brother, sister to sister.
But here's the good newsthat I know all of you know, Jesus came to seek andsave that which was loss.
And every area of life that suffered loss, which was pretty much every area.
He has given us back his name to have authority and dominion, so that we can reorder things.
There has never been a greater time for people to see loving relationships, there has never been a more important time for us to do this gender thing well.
I believe that houses are the healthiest when it has both the voice of a father and the voice of a mother.
And that together thosetwo can have one heart and speak to the same purpose.
So I wanna talk about some stats that they came out with because again, we just said how amazing women are.
We just said how women are.
Now, so I'm gonna give you some stats that Boston University came out with.
They did a study.
They're like, I'm notsure if it's really true that it's not good for man to be alone.
That's Genesis 2:18.
So they said, let's do this whole study.
Let's spend thousandsand thousands of dollars and let's see if this is true.
And what they discovered was that 80% of the violent crimes committed in the United States of America are actually committedby single men, not good.
They also discoveredthat if a man is single, he will actually, y'all, don't be scared.
He will actually die 10 years earlier than a man who is married.
A married man will outlivehis single brothers by 10 years now.
I don't know why women areacting desperate to get married, because single women and marriedwomen die at the same age.
So you need to stop being desperate.
You need to say, “I don't know who “I'm gonna add 10 years to, I need to think about this.
” They also discovered that if a man was a high school graduateand he got married, the woman added, this is amazing, added to his earning potential, at the same level as a college education.
If he was a college graduate, the woman gave him a Master's.
If he had a Master's, that wife gave him a PhD.
That's crazy amazing.
See, I believe thatmale and female together is a power union.
It's not a power struggle.
Marriage is a power union.
So this is why it's importantthat we celebrate mother's and y'all guys, you'llget your father's In June, but right now we're gonnatalk about the differences in our strength.
So men are really good withsomething called structure.
Now, that doesn't mean womencan't be good with structure.
But it means that men are usuallymore structurally mindset.
For example, I toldyou I raised four boys, I saved every single one of those Legos that my boys when they were little, I put them in Tupperware containers so that I could be thefavorite grandmother.
And my boys when their dad was little, this is before cellphones, that's how old we are.
John would land in the Orlandoairport, call me and say, “baby, I'm on my way home.
” What was he really saying? He was saying Lisa, I knowyou have no concept of time.
I know our children are runningaround in their underwear.
I know you probably haven'ttaken a shower in two days.
You got 45 minutes toget the house cleaned and all of that takencare of, it was a warning.
I'd be like, “Oh, good, I'm so glad to see.
“I can't wait to see you.
” Hang up the phone, boys, ohmy gosh, dad's on his way.
Everybody would go into high alert.
I'd brush my teeth, everything was happening.
But my boys were super excitedabout making their dad proud.
Every young man has two goals in life.
He wants to make his dad proud and he wants to beat him at sports.
Those are the two major goalsthat they will shoot for.
And so my boys were toosmall to beat John in sports, so they would build these Lego towers and it was all about howtall the tower could go.
And when John would come home, he would look at the towers.
And he would be like, “wow, I really liked this tower.
” And then the boys would say, “dad watch.
” They get a car out of the toy box, back it up and crush into the Lego tower.
It was always about a bigbuild, and a big crash.
One time, and it was only one time, I was allowed to babysitmy friend's daughter.
And when I put her onthe floor with Legos, she didn't build towers.
She built rooms, andshe created these rooms with beds and chairs and tables.
And she actually got out Lego people.
My boys were okay with drivingcars without people in it.
But she got out a guyLego, and a girl Lego, and she had them holding hands.
I remember my boys being horrified.
They're like, “What isshe doing with our Lego? “Why is a girl playing right now?” And I think she knew shehad some kind of power.
So she had the guy Legoand the girl Lego kiss.
And when that happened, my boys are like, now we're going to haveto burn those Legos.
I want you to know, this little girl at four or five years of age, was exemplifying somethingthat women are really good at, and that is nurture.
Men have structure and womenhave something called nurture.
Nurture is the abilityto make connections.
Nurture is the abilityto protect relationships.
Nurture is the abilityto create an environment for the young or at risk to flourish.
And when we talk about the church, I know that pastor Matt, and pastor Tammy wanna celebrate that themen have been amazing at providing structure andleadership and guidance, but to cultivate women you have created this amazingenvironment of nurture, that has made this church notjust big, but made it safe.
It is built in a differentway when it's just women, or just men, but together, Sandals Church has representedwhat God always meant to be very good.
Another thing is the man guards the house, but the woman guards the heart.
Maybe you think, “No, that's not important.
” Listen to me, there isno more noble commission than guarding the heart of your children, guarding the heart of your husband, guarding the heart ofyour house of worship, guarding the heart of your city, guarding the heart.
Think about right now, how many people needguardians of the heart? They are looking for people who are safe, where they can share their fears, their worries, their concerns.
And I believe that you arenoble guardians of the heart.
And if anybody ever tried to strip the value of thatcontribution from you, I'm just gonna tell you.
My favorite thing I'veever done in my life is be a mother.
It's not standing on stages.
It's not writing books.
It's being a mother.
I want you to know, youare not just a mother, you are a hero.
You are a woman of virtue, which means a force for good.
You are a woman of valor, which means courageous.
Being a mother is beinga warrior for life.
Somebody who whispers prayers and goes right intothe throne room of God.
Also, being a mother means you give out, and you give out, and you give out.
This is your pause.
This is your day.
This is your permission to receive, because you have every right to come into the presence of your father.
Because long before you became a mother, you were first and foremost, his daughter.
– And that is why I love Lisa Bevere.
She's just a woman of Godwho has not only wisdom, but experience and I just think there were so many goodthings for us to talk about.
What were some of thetakeaways for you, Matt? – The number one takeaway andI hope you did not miss this.
And just so you know, whenI listen to a speaker, I'm listening for that nugget of wisdom, and I thought the thingthat was the most amazing whether you're marriedor single, young or old, is my question to you is what's the yoke that you're wearing? So a yoke is a piece ofequipment you put on an animal so that it can pull something.
So it's, it's pulling youback, it's holding you back.
What's the yoke that you're pulling that's a mantle to your spouse? And so for Tammy and I, early on, we really struggled with finances.
And so Tammy paid the bills.
And let me just tell you, she would pay the bills, come out it's the end of theworld, we're all gonna die.
And it was hell to pay foreveryone about everything for at least a couple ofhours after we paid the bills, and we fought about who can pay the bills and the big issue was, and rightfully so, you didn't trust me with the finances.
And we went to counseling overwho gets to pay the bills.
We paid money to someone, a third party, to teach us how to pay bills.
But Tammy just share sharewith just our church, how that that helped you and changed you as you allowed me andI made some mistakes.
I mean, I missed some billsearly on because I was a boy and part of the reason I was a boy is you kind of were my mom.
And so there was there was some changing that had to happen there but tell tell us, Sandals family, what that did for you, when you let me take that onand it was a yoke for you, but it was a mantle for me.
Carrying the weight of our finances, being the only eyes on them.
You know, back in that day, we're like doing checksand balancing a checkbook.
There was no not even like online.
– And there was no for margin.
– And we were starting off.
It was such a hard time but the truth is I didn't trust Matt in that time.
I thought I do this.
I'm the one that's more responsible and that's one of the thingsthat was such a standout to me.
I was convicted and also so glad to not be in that place anymore.
I mothered you and I didn'ttreat you like my husband, when she talks to that point.
It's so good about justwives, treating your spouse like I said.
The truth is I didn't trust you.
We were young.
That's how you start off in marriage.
I didn't let you grow up.
And as soon as I'm so stressedand nervous every month, and Matt said, we'll all do the bills.
Little did either of us know, you're actually brilliantwith finances and numbers.
And he took it on and it was like, I would be stressed forthe whole week following, you know, bill time, and you're just like, done and immediately, like, moves it over to a better system.
And I was so relieved.
And that was one of such a hugegrowth part in our marriage, because we became partners instead of new mothering you and the more that Imothered you in that way, the more you behaved irresponsibly.
And as soon as whatwas such a burden to me was given to you, you rose to the occasion and it was a blessing to andyou grew up in that ways.
And when you grew up, we grewup together in a new way.
So I loved her point about, wives just don't treat your husband like you're their mother.
And here's the thing as wives, we get so frustrated when we do that.
But actually, the more we do it, the more it plays off of each other.
So it's like we createour own situation in that, and it happens innocently.
I know it takes intentionalityto get out of it.
But that was such a good word, I think for anybody who's married.
And here's the thing, when you and I werelistening to this message we were thinking about, what about the peoplein here who aren't moms or aren't married, and I thought, man, I wish I would have had that wisdom before we were married.
When I was a young girlthinking about my future, thinking about who I wanted to be.
And so I think if you're not married, and you're a young woman right now, I think that word fromLisa is so good for you to tuck away for whenit really matters about, you're not looking forsomeone else to mother, you're looking for someoneto be a partner with.
– We talked about somethingTammy needed to release.
Well, let me tell yousomething I needed to release.
And guys, listen to me.
It's so important that you, as the spiritual leader, don't give your input on everything.
And one of the areas we foughton was how the house looked.
I thought I had to have input, right? Because I'm at least 50%, right? And at the end of the dayI don't care how it looks.
I just care that it lookslike she's married to a man, that's all I care about isthat people walk in and go, “Okay, this is a traditionalheterosexual marriage.
” And she's married to a man.
And and once we got that, she comes to me and I said, you're better at this than me.
I stress about it.
I worry about it.
And I just trust her with that.
And over time, we figured out our finances and we will be yoked together.
But that happens when you sayTammy's good at these things, I'm good at this.
– Key word in this is over time.
It's something you grow into, that's good.
– And another thing, just really understand each other's strengths as strengths and weaknesses as notsins, but weaknesses.
I tend to be very forwardthinking and visionary, I miss out on the present and family.
Tammy is sometimes way toofocused in the here and now and can't see, you know, down the street.
And so we have to learn, okay, I need Tammy.
Because her strength, her mantle is family, what's important.
Tammy needs to learn thatmy mantle is the future and where we're going.
And so we've learnedto work that together.
So I just really wantyou, that was a nugget.
Man, if you missed it, God's grace, that was one of the most powerful things I've heard just dropped in a kitchen.
And here's why? 'Cause she said it was the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit spoke to her, just like the Holy Spiritwants to speak to you.
And there are somethings that you're doing that the Holy Spirit's going, why are you doing this? – My heart when I was listeningto the message was for, it's Mother's Day weekend.
Lisa's clearly talkingabout herself as a mother and two mothers, which it's not lost on us that there's a room.
I mean, like a virtual room, the room everyone sittingin is not just mothers.
And so I'm thinking okay, well, what what is this for them? And for everybody out therewho maybe you wanna be a mom and that's not been your story, and you haven't been able to have a baby, your kids are grown, whatever that looks likefor everyone else watching.
Here's what I would say, is some of the mostsignificant people in my life have been women who are not my mom.
My mom is wonderful, she's significant.
I'm not saying that but I'm saying we all have a way to contribute as women, like Lisa gave such good stats about the value of women in our world and not to replace men or out do man men but just the value that we bring.
And so to every woman out there, whether you're a mom or not, here's what I wanna say to you.
If you're not a mom yet, let this be a word to you about the mom you you want to be, learn from that wisdom that Lisa gave.
And then if you're ifyou're not able to be a mom, that's not that's just not your choice or the choice for you.
Who in your life can you be investing in? Lisa has been one person but I've had other women inmy life older than me say, let me love on you in this way.
Let me invest.
We've both had, we've hadmen and women, Grandpa Jack, who's who's been that figurein our life in different ways.
So none none of us are exempt from being someone significant and strong in the life of someone else.
And then I think, what wouldyou say to all of this? So I'm speaking to moms, whomaybe aren't actual moms, but to all the men in the room or the kids in the roomor the teens in the room, what would your word forthem be to their actual mom? Because if we're notmom, we all have a mom.
– What I would say isyou need to take this day to honor your mom, and you say why? It's just a holiday hallmark invented.
Well, actually the 10commandments invented it.
And it says, honor your mother and father.
The apostle Paul says, it's the first commandment with a promise that things will go for well for you, if you honor mom and dad, so think about some things that you could honor your mom for.
And I realize it's difficult to do under these times and circumstances, but you need to do that.
And then let me speak to the single women.
Some of you're like, I'mnot a mom, I'm single, that this message completelydidn't speak to me, and that's because you didn't listen.
One of the things I wantedyou to hear as a single woman, is how much value you add to a man.
And Lisa kind of ranthrough that rather quickly.
But a woman, adds valueto a man's income ability, adds value to to who he is and how he sees himself.
– Years to his life.
– 10 years to his life, right? Which is amazing, because Ithought you'd kill me but, you know, we're kidding a little bit.
I just want you to hearme, you have value.
And now if you're asingle man in our church, what are you doing? What are you doing? Do you wanna die quicker, make less money and be dumber? We keep playing video games.
Get off the video games, finda good woman in our church, settle down, live longer, make more money, be happier and be smarter.
That's what she said, and you guys just need to do that.
And here's the thing isa lot of you are looking for Mr.
And here's the thing thatI realized about Tammy after about 10 years of somegood you know, fighting, right? I realized that a lot of the things that drove me crazy about her, I don't mean crazy like, I love you.
I mean crazy, like I need away from you.
Social distancing instantly.
– Before it was a thing.
We had it figured out.
– I realized that a lot of the things that drove me crazy about Tammy were the things I needed the most.
I needed to hear these truths.
I needed to have these spoken to me.
And really at the end of the day, here's what I hated about Tammy, it was her strength.
What sin is that? And it was her strengthand her unwillingness to relinquish and say that's okay because there were thingsabout me that weren't okay.
Things relationally, things leadership wise, things as a husband, and a lot of the times the things that you guys are nitpicking on, you just you need to hear that.
And say, okay, Tammy loves me.
And here's some things I'm doing that are really frightening her and making her feel insecure.
So I need to listen to that.
And, oftentimes I'll seesingles in our church, we're just friends.
You guys are husband and wifeand you don't even know it.
Everybody else can see it.
And listen to me singles, some of you are so caught up, looking for your idealpicture of what you think a wife would look like.
And that wife is right next to you, and that husband is right next to you and God's already put them there.
And singles, you don'thave to get married.
God loves you.
Jesus was single, Jeremiah was single.
You don't have to bemarried or to have children to fulfill God's will.
Jesus didn't do that and he fulfilled God's willbetter than anything else.
But I think it's importantthat you heard that, that men and women are acomplement to each other.
And when a husband andwife operate in unity, great things happen.
And a lot of us don't think about this.
She talked a lot about Genesis and some of you've never readGenesis, go back and read it.
And she talked about who Adam was, but there was something missing.
And so God's plan was to create a helper and then I want you togo and look at Genesis 3, and look at the breakdown.
So God tells Adam he hasauthority over every animal.
You know what that means.
The only reason thesnake was in the garden is because Adam let him in.
So Adam lets the snake in the garden, Eve listens to the snake.
And that's how we fall together.
When men failed to lead.
and women listen to other voices and other things that are saying is that what God really said? So God whispers to women, you're not good enough.
You're not right, you're not a good mom.
And men fall asleep at the spiritual helm.
Because they let the snakecome into the garden.
Adam had all authorityover every animal, read it.
Even though the snake was crafty, Adam, he could have said be gone.
But instead he just sat there and watched his wife have a conversation with something he knew hadno business in the garden.
And so I want you to thinkabout that as a couple.
What are some thingsthat you've let slither into your home, into your lifethat has no business there? And you too as a coupleneed to say you know what, this Mother's Day we needto get our family right.
We need to do this.
And I just love Lisa, and let me read it right.
Let boys be boys, right? Boys are boys.
You know Tammy was so cute.
We had two girls, Barbie dolls.
What were those littlethings they played with? Polly pockets.
Our house is full of Polly Pockets, right? When I went to Toys R Us when there was a thing called Toys R Us.
We went to the pink aisle, with pink everything and there with no GI Joe's, no Star Wars.
It was pink everything.
So we have our ever son and Tammy says we're not gonna have gunsin the house, no guns.
My son took a coat hanger off the rack and pointed at Tammy and shot her with it.
She goes, that's just him.
It's just him.
And just know that God's made boys boys and God's made girls girls, and we need to honor that and we're better togetherand we need them.
– And that's what I would sayis women text me all the time.
How do I get my husband to act like a man? And I think that's the word Lisa had is treat him like one.
Stop treating me like a boy, give some wiggle room for the readjustment but let him be a man inyour home and support that and when it gets itright make a deal of it.
And for everybody who's nothas been in life not married, not having kids this weekend, this is such a great time for you to be looking and trackingwith where you wanna go.
– And I would also say thisto our younger audience at Sandals Church.
Our daughters complain alot, they're both dating, and they compare their 21 year old and 25 year old boyfriendsto their 48 year old dad.
And I just have to tell my girls, I haven't always been 48.
And I became 48, and Ibecame the man I am today because Tammy loved methrough my stupidity, and stood by me through some mistakes, and I made some mistakes.
But oftentimes, the best waymen lead is by blowing it and having to come back and say, you know what, I waswrong, and you are right, and I should have listened.
And at the end of theday, men and women, man, it's not about submitting to each other.
What comes before that? We submit to Christ.
We submit to Him first, and we trust Him and we trust God knows to what's best.
So I just wanna close bysaying thank you so much for everybody who gives.
Thank you for letting me have a week off.
We're so grateful.
This was a crazy week andthank you Lisa for filling in.
I'll be back next weekend.
I wanna close withsomething really special.
And I want you to know, for those of you who give I can't believe that you are giving.
In the midst of uncertainty, Sandals has been able to pay our bills, we haven't had to lay anybody off and that's because ofyou and your generosity.
And because you're giving, because you trust God, we have reached on the internet, three million separate views.
I want that just to sinkin, three million people have heard the gospel, heard our vision, been introduced to Sandalschurch because you give.
Because without margin, withoutmoney, there is no ministry.
It does not happen.
And so I just wanna say thank you so much.
And get this, so threemillion views, 79 countries.
79 countries around the world.
Who thought a little church inour little home in Riverside, 79 countries around theworld are tuning in? And that's only possible because you give.
So I wanna close by sayingthank you for what you give.
And I want you to listen to this video.
It's Mother's Day.
And this video, so you can just call in and leave us messages we listen to them, and from time to time we post them.
But this is from a womanwho runs a woman shelter for women who are escapingabusive relationships and they have kids.
And she sent this in and just told us she was so thankful for theministry that you provide, because she was able to lead, listen to this listen.
She was able to lead mothers who are coming from abusive situations, she was able to lead theirchildren to Jesus Christ because of the Ministry of Sandals Church.
So I just wanna say thank you.
Thank you for giving, because you gave these little kids thatyou're gonna hear about, this is a real phone call.
It's always like thosethose car commercials.
These are not actors, these are real people.
This is not an actor.
It's a real person who called in and she's just saying thank you so much for what you do SandalsChurch, and how you give because she was able toshare Christ with these kids who are escaping such horriblecircumstances here on Earth.
They know they have a father in heaven.
And they know that thereare women that love them and share the gospel with them.
So thank you so much Sandals church.
So listen to this andI'll see you next week.
As we start our new series called elevate.
You don't want to miss it, because I believe God can lift you out of whatever you're going through right now because of who He is and not because of your circumstances.
So thank you so much, guys.
We love you so much.
Thank you, Lisa Bevere, God bless guys.
– [Kelly] Hi, my name is Kelly and I manage a localshelter here in Riverside for women and children who are fleeing from domestic violence.
And we actually bring our shelter to worship with SandalsChurch every Sunday and many of our moms continueto attend Sandals Church even after the time with us is done which is usually about six months.
When I saw that we'reobserving the Lord's Supper, it allowed me the opportunity to have a group chat withthe small kiddos in the house because we're I'll be watching the service together as a family.
Well, the conversationabout the Lord's Supper naturally opened up the floor for me to offer a time for the children to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
And I'm so thrilled to share that three, three of my shelter kiddos prayed to receive Christ thisGood Friday morning.
Thank you so much Sandals Church for providing opportunitiesfor God to be glorified, no matter how near or far.
It's just a simple reminder that despite this Coronavirusand this quarantine, God is sovereign and he'sstill sitting on his throne.
God bless and thank you so much.
♪ The Lord bless you ♪ ♪ And keep you ♪ ♪ Make His face shine upon you ♪ ♪ And be gracious to you ♪ ♪ The Lord turn His ♪ ♪ Face toward you ♪ ♪ And give you peace ♪ ♪ The Lord bless you ♪ ♪ And keep you ♪ ♪ Make His face shine upon you ♪ ♪ And be gracious to you ♪ ♪ The Lord turn His ♪ ♪ Face toward you ♪ ♪ And give you peace ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ Your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His presence go before you ♪ ♪ And behind you, and beside you ♪ ♪ All around you, and within you ♪ ♪ He is with you, He is with you ♪ ♪ In the morning, in the evening ♪ ♪ In your coming, and your going ♪ ♪ In your weeping, and rejoicing ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ May His favor be upon you ♪ ♪ And a thousand generations ♪ ♪ And your family and your children ♪ ♪ And their children, and their children ♪ ♪ May His presence go before you ♪ ♪ And behind you, and beside you ♪ ♪ All around you, and within you ♪ ♪ He is with you, He is with you ♪ ♪ In the morning, in the evening ♪ ♪ In your coming, and your going ♪ ♪ In your weeping, and rejoicing ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ He is for you, He is for you ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ ♪ Amen, amen, amen ♪ – So here's what you can know today that no matter who youare, what your story is, or what circumstance you find yourself in, God's presence is withyou, surrounding you, that He's fighting your battles, that he loves you and cares for you.
And that is also true forus here at Sandals Church.
If you need prayer, orsupport, encouragement or care, please reach out and let us know.
If you go to sandalschurch.
One of our ministers willreach out and connect with you and help you face whatever itis you may be going through.
We're so grateful thatyou joined us this weekend and I wanna invite youto come back next weekend as we launch a brand new series with our lead pastor Matt Brown on how to elevate your spiritual, mental and emotionalhealth during this time.
You're gonna wanna be thereand you wanna invite a friend.
We can't wait to see you there.
Love you guys.
See you next week.